Not having a rehearsal? [Archive]

lizaanne

07-25-2006, 07:47 PM

We are not having a rehearsal. FH does not want to see me the day before the wedding, and he has issues with pouncing around in the sancturary "rehearsing" things. It was such an issue that I asked our priest if we could do without the rehearsal, and he said we could if we took full responsiblity for what happens the day of the wedding. Well, what's the worst that could happen? Someone stands in the wrong place, or does something at the wrong time, big deal. Not something that really concerns me, this doesn't have to be a Hollywood production.

So - if you are NOT having a rehearsal, how are you handling the actual day of the wedding? Will you prep everyone ahead of time and tell them what they need to do? I can just see myself, like being at work in front of a white board at a meeting, drawing diagrams of who goes where and when!!! :lolroll:

I think I'll do something like this actually, so at least everyone is comfortable with what they need to do and when.

A lot of work for me, but if it makes my dear one happy, ok, I'll do it. :)

So - what are your plans?

~Liza

nikkiana

07-25-2006, 08:32 PM

rowanmayfairs

07-25-2006, 09:32 PM

Not sure we are having much of a rehearsal..

We plan on decorating the church the nite before and meeting with the minister about final details. I would like to do a quick rehearsal to make sure I don't screw up the next day (even though I probably will anyway ;)

James Best Man can't come until the DAY of the wedding. He has to work, etc, etc.. So when we met the minister to get into the church and do a quick run thru, it will be just us too. My parents & sister will come along to decorate.

wendy9879

07-25-2006, 10:39 PM

If my FH insisted that we not reherse the day before the wedding, I'd probably kick his butt six ways to Sunday!

Personally, I feel the rehersal is pretty important just for peace of mind for the bride.... (The groom generally cares less because all he does is stand at the altar....)

If your FH is so insistant on not coming, could you have a rehersal without FH?

I agree with nikkiana. I would personally have a rehearsal without FH if he were adamant about not seeing me that day. Although I'm having a very small wedding, I still want to make sure everything flows well. :thumbsup:

carolinalady67

07-25-2006, 10:50 PM

The rehersal wouldn't have to be the day before, you could do it the weekend before.

I agree with you, in that I don't care if someone misses a cue slightly. But you still have to have things somewhat organized and if you are not seeing each other before the wedding you can't be out running around in the church telling people where to be and when before the ceremony.

lizaanne

07-26-2006, 10:42 AM

We could not have the rehearsal a week before, those in the wedding from out of town will not be here.

I will be meeting with the coordinator at the Church to get all the details and then will speak with everyone in the wedding to ensure they know what to do and when, at least a couple days before.

My FH has issues with using a sacred space for something other than its intended purpose. To have a rehearsal without him would still not be appropriate in his mind. I respect his wishes and will work around it. It's not a big deal.

With all due respect ladies -

I was really wondering what others are doing if they are not having a rehearsal, not asking how I should handle my own situation. I am able to do that just fine, thank you. :)

~Liza

fizbobunny

07-26-2006, 10:49 AM

Our venue doesn't allow a "real" rehearsal. DH and I went the day before to finalize details, drop off anything that will be needed that day, including rb pillows, cake topper, umbrella for second line, anything. Then we went over who my vendors were and how everything would work out. Then they had an aerial of the property and showed us how everything would go for the ceremony. We decided who would walk what parent and what order things were to go in. They have everything down to a science that there was no need to rehearse. The guys would all be lined up inside and told what to do, basically walk out in a line and stand in front of the front row. When the bm got to the fountain, they were to walk to her and walk her the rest of the way up the aisle. For the girls, they load them in a van and drive them around the block and park just outside the stone wall. Then they send them one by one down the aisle. Basically, the staff of the venue ran around behind the scenes telling everyone where they needed to be and when.

lizaanne

07-26-2006, 11:30 AM

Jaci

07-26-2006, 12:51 PM

I think most importantly you've got to make sure that everyone is comfortable with their role. I know that if I were in a wedding without a rehearsal I would be terribly nervous that I would mess something up, so if I were you I would talk to everyone individually (or in appropriate groups) to make sure that everyone is comfortable with their role, and then assign certain people the task of coordinating stuff. I would either hire a planner or assign someone to be a planner.

Oops, I'm sorry, I thought you WERE looking for suggestions for the day, and not looking to hear about how other people couldn't possibly NOT have the rehearsal...So I am having a rehearsal, but those plans above are how I would handle it if I weren't :P

MsJessica07

07-26-2006, 02:50 PM

lizaanne

07-26-2006, 03:10 PM

We're dealing with a similar issue, LizaAnne, for sort of similar reasons.

In traditional Jewish weddings, the bride and groom aren't supposed to see each other for the entire week before the wedding, as part of making that whole time very special. They can still talk to each other, but not much else. We're still pretty far away from the day, so I'm not sure exactly how the practical issues will work.

My thoughts on how I'm handling this: I figure Raif and I will divide telling people how to do what between each other, give out written instructions, etc. It's a pretty simple thing for us, just the procession and recessional, and where to stand.

Maybe go with him to block out where people should stand, etc, and then use that to tell people where to go, how to stand? Would that work? Do you have pictures of the space to use as a visual aid?

Hope that helps :)

That's what I'm thinking of doing too - making a diagram of the Church, and drawing on it where everyone will go. Should be easy enough.

We don't have piles of kids and dogs with ring pillows and all that mess to deal with, it's all adults, and only three witnesses. Should be fairly straight forward.

I still think a conference room with a white board would be SO much easier for me!!! :lolroll:

~Liza

MsJessica07

07-26-2006, 03:21 PM

:lol: I love that idea...maybe one of those football diagrams, where your side is little x's and his side is little o's and they have arrows pointing where they go? ;)

Kari

07-26-2006, 05:20 PM

Liza, Alicia got married at Southern Oaks Plantation :)

And my venue is alot like hers, they don't do rehersals. The staff will cue everyone and tell them what to do. Works for me! More time I get to spend hanging out with ALL of the guests (well, and putting together the favor bags :lol: )

lizaanne

07-26-2006, 06:15 PM

I really like the idea of it all being totally new and unexpected the day of the wedding, the more I think about it!! How wonderful to know that the first time he sees me walking down the aisle is REALLY the first time!!!

We will all have to check in, those who are not having rehearsals, and tell how it went. :)

Jessica - that is EXACTLY what I'm thinking!!! hehehe!!!

~Liza

fizbobunny

07-26-2006, 06:41 PM

Hey fizbo - where did you get married? Sounds like Jackson Square in the Quarter! My mom was married on the steps of the Square, across from the Cathedral. Soooo cool there! It was a fantastic time - about 4 years ago.

~Liza

That's a cool place to get married, but nope. I was married at Southern Oaks Plantation (http://www.southernoaksplantation.com/) right on Lake Ponchartrain.

eta: I really should read all the way through threads before replying :D

Oh, and everything went very smooth the day of. The only mistake was my bro lined up in the wrong place, so the married couple in my bp didn't get to walk together, and my bro (6'3") ended up with the shortest woman of my group.

lizaanne

07-26-2006, 07:05 PM

That is one of the other places she considered!! Soo beautiful!!!

Ok - this is all coming back to me, I think I remember you posting this on UW. Sheesh - short memory for me I guess!!! :)

~Liza

MsJessica07

08-01-2006, 12:39 PM

What are you doing about vendors that are asking to come look at the space at the rehearsal dinner? I haven't dealt with this yet but I'm wondering what to do about it.

lizaanne

08-01-2006, 01:42 PM

I don't think I understand you question. :) Do you mean a DJ who might want to see the set up or something? I think most people don't have their RD at the same place as the reception.

Am I confused, or what? :)

~Liza

MsJessica07

08-01-2006, 02:10 PM

I'm not sure if I understand my question either....I think I meant rehearsal, not rehearsal dinner. One of the videographers I talked to had mentioned coming to see the sight when we were having the Rehearsal...the way it's set up, etc. We're not using him, but it was something to think about.

The building I'm using is new, so I'm thinking about getting my videog/photog to go through the building with me so that I can show them what's there, where we'll be doing things, etc.

lizaanne

08-01-2006, 02:57 PM

Ahh!! Now it makes sense!! :)

My friend who is doing photography for me went to the Church this past Friday and we crashed a wedding. hehehe

We sat off to the side (the Church holds 3,000 people www.shrinechurch.com ) so we were not in the way. She wanted to walk around and get ideas, as well as see where the pro stood for his shots and stuff.

No other vendors to worry about - no video for us - so we won't have to worry about that. If you do, I would see if your ceremony venue will allow you to take someone through when there isn't anything going on there, and just talk them through the ceremony. If they are professionals, they should be able to just look at the place and get a good enough idea, I would think.

~Liza

MsJessica07

08-01-2006, 03:24 PM

Yeah...my venue is not particularly traditional (it's the alumni center on our campus) so the building is open to the public basically M-F 9-5, so it wouldn't be hard to get them to come through...just have to do it. :)

Kirsten

08-01-2006, 11:03 PM

We'll probably rehearse 2 days in advance (the hall is being used that Friday). It's a small wedding party but I want to be sure that everyone knows what he/she is going to be doing and where they should stand. It's a JOP performing the ceremony so it's going to be "short and sweet" - so should the rehearsal.

destinationbride07

08-03-2006, 08:56 AM

We are not either...for one there is no bridal party, wedding is only 15 min ceremony...but we are going on a dinner cruise with our parents and anyone else who wants to PAY and come along

Naima

08-07-2006, 09:03 PM

We didn't have an official rehersal, but we had a run-through with the bridesmaids of where they had to walk, the guys got themselves sorted with what they had to do... we really had pieces of a rehersal without officially having a rehersal. it would have been easier just to have one!

Ally

09-14-2006, 10:05 PM

the only reason that we are having a rehearsal is cuz we have such a big wedding party and two really small kids there. We are also going to be on a stage, so we dont want any of the that to cause problems...lol

*Ashley*

09-15-2006, 02:43 PM

Our rehearsal isn't going to be much of a rehearsal. The priest is going to tell us what to do and our BP will be there, but other than that, it's really just an excuse to eat dinner and have a party in my opinion LOL!

Liza you're definitely marrying a good Catholic boy!

Renny

09-23-2006, 10:19 PM

I don't think we are having a rehearsal since we are getting married at my brothers house.
we might get together for pizza the night before but that's about it. I figure in all honesty it's not that hard to walk and stand. for the kids since I don't want them standing the entire time I'll just tell them to walk to my brother who will be sitting on the side and sit with him just before they start down the isle, then they might remember once they get to the end ;)

Kari

09-23-2006, 10:49 PM

If you can... HAVE A REHEARSAL!

I wasn't overly happy with the way things happened during the processional. Had we had a rehearsal, things would've happened MY way, not the way the venue wanted.

If you can, DO IT!

We still had the RD though, and it was phenominal! :)

Sabby12s

09-25-2006, 09:27 AM

We're not having a rehearsal either, but we are getting married in Vegas so the ceremony will be short, 15 minutes.

I'll definitely be telling everyone where they need to go when but as far as the processional goes it will be pretty short.

Since there is no rehearsal there is no need for a rehearsal dinner, per se. I'm hoping to find something for everyone to do the day before the wedding. There are 3 attendents on each side so it shouldn't be too hard for us to find something to do in Vegas!

sweetiez

10-03-2006, 03:29 PM

We are having one forsure! I cant imagine myself not having one. plus it will but fun. exciting.. evryone will be happy. it will be a good time :) So yes we are FORSURE having one :)

destinationbride07

10-04-2006, 02:34 PM

We are not having one either…fortunately we don’t have any attendants (except our parents) so we just have to make sure we walk down the beach ok lol lol

Raychel

10-06-2006, 04:58 PM

We're not having one either. Getting married in a chapel in TN doesn't really allow for one lol I dunno...I guess it is just nerves a bit that makes me wish we were having one but I'll deal.

lizaanne

10-24-2006, 11:37 AM

We were not going to do one, but finally did, and I can't even begin to tell you how glad I am that we did!!!!

A full Catholic Mass, but only two girls and one guy standing up. Still, I was so glad we didn't even have to think about what to do on wedding day, and everything was flawless. I actually shudder to think of how awkward everything might have been had we not done one.

Glad the Church talked us into it after all. And the rehearsal meal, just pizza at a local Italian place, was very nice and casual, and a nice way to kick off the wedding weekend.

Everything happens for a reason. I need to just go with the flow more often and not fight back when things just happen sometimes.

~Liza

Flying_V_Goddess

10-30-2006, 06:55 PM

I'm an artist and an artist always sketches out their ideas before painting a picture. If an artist were to just go and paint something straight from their mind a lot of the time it doesn't turn out because they didn't nessicarly plan it. What's in the mind doesn't always transfer into the real world intact.

A rehersal makes sense to me even though I have no idea where my wedding is going to be. I kind of see my wedding as a canvas and a rehersal would be like a sketch. I can get an sense of what its gonna be like before its laid down. I can see what's going to go right and what's going to go wrong and fix the things that would go wrong. I can VISUALLY imagine quite graphically things that could go wrong if I don't have a rehersal and make sure that things go right (awwwwkwaaaaard)

So as an artist and a bride I need to see it so I can see what it will look like and make sure things go smoothly and that could help relieve some of the stress a little. I don't see how any bride couldn't have a rehersal unless there was an issue with the building they were getting married at or if they were having a quickie wedding in Vegas.

lizaanne

10-30-2006, 08:51 PM

What you say is exactly dead on. After we did the rehearsal, the wedding day happened without even having to think of what to do next. It was totally flawless, as if we had already sketched it out, and were following the plan without even realizing it.

I'm glad we ended up doing one. It was very much worth it.

~Liza