avidreader7
10-30-2008, 12:56 PM
I'm taking you up on that "doesn't have to be wedding related" thing.
So, first, a little explanation. I'm the youngest of five kids. I only have one sister, and she is 10 years older than me. When I was 10, and she was 20, my Mom and Step-Dad moved to Virginia, and of course I moved with them. My sister, who had gotten pregnant at 15 and married at 16, stayed in New York with her husband and kids. So I grew up without really knowing her, until I moved back to New York with my Mom in 1994 (my Step-Dad had died the year before).
Since then, we've become closer, although I wish I got to see her more than I do. We've never had that super close relationship that I've always wanted with her, but then, she's married and has six kids, and she has tended to get kind of wrapped up in them, to the exclusion of any outside relationships. Which I understand, but there are times when it hurts.
The year my Mom died, my sister and her family had a bonfire on Christmas Eve. I was at home alone, completely depressed and missing our Mom. My sister is hanging around the bonfire with her kids and her husband, and my oldest niece asks her why I'm not there. And my sister says, "Oh, I didn't think to invite her!" This is the kind of mindset we're talking about. Even though she knew I was depressed and alone and missing our Mom, she never thought to invite me to her house for a family gathering on Christmas Eve.
That's just one example, and the most hurtful (she also didn't call me on my birthday that year, because we had planned on getting together the next day, and she didn't think about calling on the day itself. Again, I was alone and depressed without Mom, but whatever).
One of my sister's kids, Kenny, moved to California with his wife a few years ago, so I only get to see him about once a year, when he comes out for Christmas. Well, this year he and his wife are pregnant, so they're not coming out for Christmas. Well, I stumbled on a blog that his wife has started, and she posted about him being out here to visit for a week. The only problem is, she posted this on the 20th, meaning he's come and gone already. And my sister never even thought to pick up the phone and call me to tell me he was here! I haven't seen him since last Christmas, and I won't get to see him again until who knows when - not until after the baby is born in May, at least. And no one thinks to let me know that he's here, so that I can see him for even a few minutes.
What the eff-ever. I try not to get upset, but it just hurts me so much. I know my sister loves me, so why does she forget to include me in her life? Why don't I get invited to stuff that she has going on?
I may be PMSing. But this has just really hurt me a lot. Family sucks sometimes.
So, first, a little explanation. I'm the youngest of five kids. I only have one sister, and she is 10 years older than me. When I was 10, and she was 20, my Mom and Step-Dad moved to Virginia, and of course I moved with them. My sister, who had gotten pregnant at 15 and married at 16, stayed in New York with her husband and kids. So I grew up without really knowing her, until I moved back to New York with my Mom in 1994 (my Step-Dad had died the year before).
Since then, we've become closer, although I wish I got to see her more than I do. We've never had that super close relationship that I've always wanted with her, but then, she's married and has six kids, and she has tended to get kind of wrapped up in them, to the exclusion of any outside relationships. Which I understand, but there are times when it hurts.
The year my Mom died, my sister and her family had a bonfire on Christmas Eve. I was at home alone, completely depressed and missing our Mom. My sister is hanging around the bonfire with her kids and her husband, and my oldest niece asks her why I'm not there. And my sister says, "Oh, I didn't think to invite her!" This is the kind of mindset we're talking about. Even though she knew I was depressed and alone and missing our Mom, she never thought to invite me to her house for a family gathering on Christmas Eve.
That's just one example, and the most hurtful (she also didn't call me on my birthday that year, because we had planned on getting together the next day, and she didn't think about calling on the day itself. Again, I was alone and depressed without Mom, but whatever).
One of my sister's kids, Kenny, moved to California with his wife a few years ago, so I only get to see him about once a year, when he comes out for Christmas. Well, this year he and his wife are pregnant, so they're not coming out for Christmas. Well, I stumbled on a blog that his wife has started, and she posted about him being out here to visit for a week. The only problem is, she posted this on the 20th, meaning he's come and gone already. And my sister never even thought to pick up the phone and call me to tell me he was here! I haven't seen him since last Christmas, and I won't get to see him again until who knows when - not until after the baby is born in May, at least. And no one thinks to let me know that he's here, so that I can see him for even a few minutes.
What the eff-ever. I try not to get upset, but it just hurts me so much. I know my sister loves me, so why does she forget to include me in her life? Why don't I get invited to stuff that she has going on?
I may be PMSing. But this has just really hurt me a lot. Family sucks sometimes.