Raychel
12-03-2008, 03:46 AM
Every Christmas I feel slightly torn on this issue but generally end up not giving a separate gift to my mom's husband. (Generally one would call this man their stepfather, I do not acknowledge him as such) Last year though, I gave them wedding pictures with both mom and his name in the "TO" section.
I do not like the man. I am civil with him. Sometimes I'll even be nice and talk to him, but most of the time, I just want to cringe when I am around him. He & my mom married when I was 10 and he made that part of my childhood a living hell. He was cruel and abusive...verbally and physically to me and my siblings.
Around the time that I was 15... I wasn't living there with them at the time... but things started to change. He started being less of a jerk to us, if b/c of nothing else I suppose all of us were finally able to stomp a mudhole in his ass if need be.
And then for the past 6 years he's been civil...since of course I don't live there anymore and am married, ect.
Problem is, I still dislike him immensely. So much so that I've never really acknowledged him during the holidays with a gift or anything. But a part of me is at a place in my life where I want to bury the hatchet with people and be willing to let go... for myself, not for their sake. And I do feel a little crappy that it is both his money and my mom's money that buy us gifts for the holidays but I don't acknowledge him, despite the crapfest past he filled some of my childhood with.
I guess I'm just torn...do I acknowledge him with a gift this year... or just not worry about it. I guess its complicated to me b/c of the emotions behind it.
I do not like the man. I am civil with him. Sometimes I'll even be nice and talk to him, but most of the time, I just want to cringe when I am around him. He & my mom married when I was 10 and he made that part of my childhood a living hell. He was cruel and abusive...verbally and physically to me and my siblings.
Around the time that I was 15... I wasn't living there with them at the time... but things started to change. He started being less of a jerk to us, if b/c of nothing else I suppose all of us were finally able to stomp a mudhole in his ass if need be.
And then for the past 6 years he's been civil...since of course I don't live there anymore and am married, ect.
Problem is, I still dislike him immensely. So much so that I've never really acknowledged him during the holidays with a gift or anything. But a part of me is at a place in my life where I want to bury the hatchet with people and be willing to let go... for myself, not for their sake. And I do feel a little crappy that it is both his money and my mom's money that buy us gifts for the holidays but I don't acknowledge him, despite the crapfest past he filled some of my childhood with.
I guess I'm just torn...do I acknowledge him with a gift this year... or just not worry about it. I guess its complicated to me b/c of the emotions behind it.