Who to Invite to RD?

[nikkiana]

I just sat down to start putting together my rehersal dinner guest list... and it's kinda turned out harder than I thought it would... I've always heard it's immediate family, bridal party and OOT guests... now, by immediate family what's considered immediate? Am I supposed to invite all my aunts and uncles regardless of whether they're OOT? What if some of my cousins are OOT and some aren't... if I only invite the OOT ones, are the in town ones going to get mad? What did you do?

[Jaci]

Hmmm, that's tough. I will probably be inviting only family who had to come to the rehearsal, and then OOT guests who are in town.

Are you sure all of that family will be in town anyways? I'm thinking I won't have to invite as many people because they won't be coming until Saturday.

[nikkiana]

Almost all of the OOT guests that are coming are from my family and most all of the itineraries have them coming in either on Wednesday or Thursday, so unfortunately I can't cut the guest list down much that way...

[Aubrey]

Everyone with the exception of two people were OOT, so I just narrowed it down to the BP, parents, and siblings. We didn't want everyone and their mother at the RD.

[Angela]

We're inviting:

Bridal party and SO's (they're all family and some are married to each other, so it's less people for us to invite).
Our parents.
My grandmother.
OOT guests.
I have some family who have pitched in for the wedding, and they'll be invited. We're also inviting our readers.

That's it! It's about 36 adults and 3 babies.

Good luck!

[*meghan*]

Everyone with the exception of two people were OOT, so I just narrowed it down to the BP, parents, and siblings. We didn't want everyone and their mother at the RD.

That's what we are doing. We only have about 10 out of 150 guests that are from here, so we are NOT inviting them to RD because it would basically be another reception.

[purple_octopus]

Most of our guests are OOT. We're doing BP and immediate family only.

[Jaci]

Almost all of the OOT guests that are coming are from my family and most all of the itineraries have them coming in either on Wednesday or Thursday, so unfortunately I can't cut the guest list down much that way...

Sounds to me like you should stick with parents, grandparents, siblings, BP and their dates and that's it. Why bother having a reception the night before the wedding, right?

[Andrea]

when i have my wedding, all im inviting, are ppl that are involved in the wedding. parents, brothers, BP (along with their sig others) and the FG and RB and their parents

[nikkiscott]

I am going to be inviting bp and their s/o maybe thier children, parents, sibilings and grandparents. No aunts, uncles, cousins that sort of thing. Why have as many people at the rd that are going to be at the wedding itself. It doesn't make sense to me.

[nikkiana]

Sounds to me like you should stick with parents, grandparents, siblings, BP and their dates and that's it. Why bother having a reception the night before the wedding, right?

I can get away with not inviting some people on my father's side of the family because they're likely to be able to occupy themselves with other relatives in the area.. But with my mom's side of the family, you're kinda stuck inviting them...

[Baconsmom]

Our budget is super-tight for the RD, so it's the WP, parents and siblings, grandparents, officiant and my musician/friend. Even at that, we're up to like 25 people! Luckily, though, our rehearsal ends at 4pm, so we're getting away with a cocktail party at our place afterward.

[JennAnn]

I would just invite parents and grandparents and then anyone that has to do with the rehearsal themselves, instead of everyone and their uncle.

[nikkiana]

As it stands, we're having the bridal party, parents, grandparents, my OOT aunts and uncles from my Mom's side and whomever is there from FH's family along with our friend who's doing the music.... I think it still ends up being around 35 or 40.... and we've decided to go with gourmet pizza for food (which I'm MUCH happier with than the crummy BBQ place that the FILs wanted to use to cater...)

The annoying thing about the whole situation was the fact that FILs seemed to be under the impression that it was going to be a much smaller gathering which I honestly don't understand what the fuss has been all about because we'd pretty much said we wanted something similiar to what FBIL and FSIL did which was a cook your own BBQ type deal and there were more people at their RD than there are invited to ours....

[jillian]

We're inviting:
WP w/ SO's (25)
Readers w/ SO's (4)
Parents (4)

[KathyandJer]

Because our wedding has so many OOT guests, we're not including the OOT guests in the RD. However, we are going to have dessert back at the hotel in the meeting room - pies and squares and whatever...just a meet 'n greet, so we get to see our many OOT guests before the wedding!

Right now, our RD is us(2), parents(5, possibly 6 if Mum brings a date), BP (8), BP significant others (6 - one BM and GM are married), BP kids (8 - not having them leave their kids to fend for themselves the first night in a strange town!), photographer (1 - because I want every part of this wedding in pictures :D) - Yup, 31 total...so far :sigh:

[brideof09]

we're doing BP, siblings, parents, and grandparents. No aunts, uncles, or cousins or we'd be paying for 2 receptions

[flasoxgirl]

This is my biggest problem so far. My parents are insisting on inviting all of my OOT guests, which is about 90% of our guests. The count I have is about 100 people. We don't want to have a 2nd wedding so I am trying to keep it as simple as possable which is much harder then I first thought. I found a place about 10 minutes away from the hotel that has a private room and can hold the number of people. It is going to be a buffet with 3 choices for about $25 per person. I am not offering any alcohol because I don't need people hungover for the next day and that would add big time to the cost. If people want to buy a drink, they can.

This isn't totally set yet but it is what I have found so far.

[beachyarmygal]

I'm with you there flasoxgirl. My mom wants to invite most of our OOT guests. Which is pretty much all of the wedding party. I like the idea of getting a private room and have some dessert or something to see the guests before the wedding. I might have to do that if things can work out that way.

[hellobethie]

We will probably invite any of the OOT guests that are staying with my parents. But hopefully because we're doing our rehearsal on the Thursday for a Saturday wedding not everyone will be there yet. Other than that, family, BP, signif others of BP. Readers? Ushers?

[*Sarah*]

We invited BP (no significant others), parents & officiant. All 3 sisters were in the BP and the OOT we are also all in the BP.

So the total would be
BP - 9
Parents - 4
Rev. Bob - 1
Us -2
Total - 16

[*TanyaJeanne*]

We invited everyone in our wedding party and their significant others, our parents and personal attendant.

[Mimzy]

Having just been to a RH with over 100 people invited. I would say LESS is more. It was out of control! :twirl:
Everyone was very "good" and listened but it was just to much.
I think -
BP and SO
Minister and wife
Family - parents, siblings.
And as long as I'm invited that is plenty! :giggle:

[BASIA]

We just had our BP, parents and OOT guests (only 2 people who just flew in that evening so we invited them to join us for dinner) and it was PERFECT!

[flasoxgirl]

Having just been to a RH with over 100 people invited. I would say LESS is more. It was out of control! :twirl:
Everyone was very "good" and listened but it was just to much.
I think -
BP and SO
Minister and wife
Family - parents, siblings.
And as long as I'm invited that is plenty! :giggle:

I so wish I had that option but my parents are insisting.

[Mimzy]

Since this is how it is gong to be - my little bit of advice. Make a list of things you want to do. People you want to talk to. Photos you need to have. Ect. Because with a large RH things get lost in all the commotion.
I have some regrets of things I didn't make happen for me.

[carolinalady67]

I would also say don't invite all those people to the rehearsal itself. You will never get anything done with all those people just hanging around distracting those who should be focused on what they need to do.

We invited our OOT guests but it was important to me to get to spend a little extra time with them because we live so far away and some of them I had not seen in years. Even with them, since that did include most of or family and wedding party we still only had about 25 people I would guess.

[flasoxgirl]

Thank you for the great suggestions. I have put my foot down on the rehersal part and am only having the already large wedding party there. We are telling people that dinner is at 7.

[Mimzy]

Good job! After what I witness I think that is a smart move.
If your parents want to see OOT guests they could host a brunch or lunch earlier in the day.

[flasoxgirl]

It's more that they feel that so many people are coming a long way for this wedding, we should provide every meal. The wedding is in Florida and most of my family lives in Massachsetts and New York but we are literally having people from all over the world.

My parents are also paying for the RD instead of FH's family because of this which is only fair.

[Kiera]

Our guest list is:
Immediate family (parents, siblings)
Grandparents
A few of our close aunts/uncles/cousins (amounts to 15 people between the 2 of us I believe)
The wedding party
Anyone doing a reading during the ceremony