Showers thrown by co workers

[MalibuStacy1982]

So i've learned that my manager (whom i dislike greatly) is planning to throw me and Kristen (who's getting married the same day) a bridal shower sometime this month. I feel awkward about it because i'm not sure if that means i'm obligated to invite everyone from work. I ask this since i know you shouldnt invite anyone to the shower that is not invited to the wedding.

Kristen emailed everyone and invited everyone we work with. I, however, really do not want some of my co workers there. I sent actual invites to those i want there, which turned out to be like 3 people. But since she's sent the invite to everyone, it sort of makes me feel like i'm being rude by not sending my out as well. I dont like a majority of them and would not want to have to pay for them to eat at my wedding.

1.) Should i send a general invite to everyone risking more people then we had planning on coming? 2.) Since my co workers are planning a joint shower for me and Kristen, does that mean i HAVE to invite those who go to the shower? (Which will be during business hours, well lunch hour but i will go longer then an hour for sure.)

Does anyone have any advice in this situation?

[Sk8ermaiden]

Nope, you don't have to worry, work showers thrown by coworkers are kind of separate from the rules. You don't have to invite them and they generally don't expect to be invited. :)

[Winter_Bride]

I don't think you need to invite everyone :shrug2: I think that it's perfectly reasonable (and wonderful!!) for your coworkers to want to throw you a shower (we've done the same at our work, and I've attended showers for coworkers who's weddings I wasn't invited to, I knew this well in advance to the shower)

I think it's a little awkward if Kristen has invited everyone and you haven't... Do you have the option of inviting them to your ceremony only? I know social graces can vary from area to area, but here it's perfectly acceptable to be invited to ceremony and sometimes the dance, but not dinner.

The other thing to keep in mind is that if your weddings are the same day, then your coworkers probably can't attend both weddings anyway ;) So you could always just play that card and assume that because Kristin got to them first, they would take her invitation over yours...

[MalibuStacy1982]

The other thing to keep in mind is that if your weddings are the same day, then your coworkers probably can't attend both weddings anyway ;) So you could always just play that card and assume that because Kristin got to them first, they would take her invitation over yours...

While that would probably be true under any other circumstances, i dont think so in my case. Her wedding is in the next state over, while mine is minutes away from our office (how convenient...). Not to mention on the same site as a MAJOR event that the radio station it work for are a big part of that entire weekend. Thats what makes me scare to invite everyone because more people will be in the area and able to come. Get what i'm saying or was that really confusing? haha!

[~Sara~]

Nope, you don't have to worry, work showers thrown by coworkers are kind of separate from the rules. You don't have to invite them and they generally don't expect to be invited. :)

:yeah: I completely agree.

[MalibuStacy1982]

I wouldnt mind inviting them to the ceremony but how can i expect people to not come to the dinner when its all in the same place? Is there a way i can invite co workers to the dance only? What would be the best way to do that without confusion and such?

[Winter_Bride]

That's difficult if it's all in one location... What's the timeline for the event? Is there a lot of time between the two?

Could to make an informal announcement that you'd love people to join you for the ceremony? I would assume if I didn't get information about a reception then I'm not invited to it. I think most would have that common sense :shrug2:

If you want to invite them to both the ceremony and dance, you could just say "Ceremony starts at such and such a time, dance to start at this time".

[Sk8ermaiden]

Honestly, unless this is something you have seen done in your circle of friends, it's likely to end in a lot of hurt feelings. While it is done a lot in Canada, I don't think I've ever heard of it being the norm anywhere in the US. Plus, since it really isn't done, I think you'd get a lot of confusion and people coming to the reception.

If I were you, when I sent out an email thank you or whatever for the gift and shower, I would just put in a blurb like, "I wish that I was having a big enough wedding to invite you all! Thank you so much for your warm thoughts and generous gifts."

[Winter_Bride]

Yeah, again this seems like such a regional thing... I wouldn't say it's a "Canadian" thing, but it's not that uncommon in my area.

[Sk8ermaiden]

Whenever this issue comes up, it always splits into Canada vs US. :lol:

But if people in your area have done it, then it would be a great solution!

[Winter_Bride]

Well, we're just a more accomodating people :giggle:

Ultimately, Kellie has a great solution - thank people for their gifts, and pass along the sentiment that you wish they could be there. :)

[MalibuStacy1982]

I think if i'm going to invite them at all they should be invited to the whole thing. Ceremony and reception. However, its just not in our budget, so i'm not going to worry about it. Although i feel terribly guilty for accepting their party and gifts, but i think Kellie's suggestion seems fair and nice. You girls are awesome!