Guest Lists

[Hughto]

So, in pulling together our guest list, we decided to sort them in groups A, B, and C. A being the must invites, B would like to, and C the most likely nots.

So, here is my question. I know that some people will send out invites for those they sorted in the B or C groups when they go regrets from the must invites. But if you have a RSVP date on your response card, how does that work? Obviously you don't want your guests to realize that are second string, and it wouldn't be cost effective to have a second grouping of RSVPs made with a later RSVP respond date.

Who has done this and how did it work?

Thanks for your help!!!

[njbride06]

At first when we did guest lists, we kinda did the same thing you are saying, but we would just say "maybe". But then when it got down to it, I couldn't come up with a way to send the invites that would be fair, so we just made one list.

I've also heard of people doing the A & B, but not sure how to pull it off smoothly. The only thing I can say, is send it out early enough and hope the A list no's send theirs back promptly. The one thing I found though, was the people coming were quicker to send their's back. Maybe the "no" people were taking longer to see if they would/would not be able to make it, i don't know?

I think maybe try your best to just make one list, b/c you don't want the added stress of people knowing they are on the B list and then having to pick and choose who from the B list actually gets invited.

Sorry if this doesn't help you much with your decision!

[Hughto]

Thank you! That was helpful!

[jillian]

Put the A and B together and send those out all together. Since your wedding is going to call for some of your guests to travel you're probably going to get your 'no's' sooner.

[-->Kat<--]

we got in a bunch of NO RSVP's so we did a second round of invitations that we put together with vellum paper, marble beige paper and tied together with this gold ribbon (we had all of these so it didn't cost anything). At the bottom we just asked them to RSVP within a week (that way there wasn't atually a date to RSVP back). Our # of guests came out perfect. :D

[Stitch's girl]

One other thing you can do is send out Save the Dates to all of the A-listers... FH and I got back a few definite No's just from doing that (people having planned vaca's, or having a baby right around the wedding date, that kind of thing)... it cleared up a few spots for us. And we also had people telling either us or our parents definetly yes, or probably... so we got a good ida of who to expect. It helped us narrow down the A list and B list... we still have a B-list, but it is much smaller.

We are also sending the invites about 10 weeks in advance, instead of 6-8, so that there is lots of time before the RSVP deadline to get more out if we need to (unless everyone doesn;t RSVP on time, which I have heard can be a problem!)

[Angela]

We had planned on doing an A and B list, but we knew the people on the B list would RSVP no, so we didn't bother....

As an aside, Becky, we sent our invite out....let's see....12 weeks? before the wedding (at the beginning of July) and have an RSVP date of September 1. We're STILL missing about 69 people responding (not sure how many cards that actually is). I invited my grandmother's neighbor who I've known my whole life....she hasn't responded, so I mentioned something to my grandmother, who ended up calling her. She LAUGHED!! She thought it's funny that I've got to call so many people if they don't RSVP within the next two weeks. How rude!

[Stitch's girl]

Arrgggghhh!!! That would drive me so nuts Angela! I am way to organized for that- everytime I get an invitation in the mail, I rsvp within 2-3 days unless their is a major issue I have left to clear up (may need to work, that kind of thing)... so far Nate's family has been wonderful at letting us know what their plans are... its more mine that we are probably going to have to chase down!

[Angela]

We're about even for both families on who haven't RSVP'd....I'm the same way as you, though. I like to RSVP within a week at least. If it's a Saturday thing, I just remind Tom to see if it's his Saturday to work, and if it is, to switch with someone.

We got 1 RSVP in the mail yesterday. I'm going to start a list tonight of who we haven't heard of...then I'm going to let Tom's mother and my cousin know to gently tell people to pull their finger out of their butt and mail the damn thing before next Friday!!! If I don't get it by the Tuesday after Labor Day, I'll start making phone calls that night. URGH!!

[-->Kat<--]

I kinda thought you shouldn't make calls until after your due date, cause they have up until then to get them in.

[BrightEyes]

our late RSVPs were the no's... so I dunno how you'd do it. :) We just crossed our fingers...