Should I ask?

[Kristin]

I just received a wedding invitation in the mail from a friend and former co-worker. the wedding is Labor Day weekend. On the invitation it says "Due to facility and space constraints we ask that this be an adult only event." I really want to go but know that it will be challenging to find someone I trust to watch Sophia that weekend. On a side note I am very close to the brides sister.
Now for my question...
Would a baby be an exception to the adult only rule?
Would it be rude for me to ask the brides sister about whether or not she thinks I could bring Sophia? She works with her sister so she could casually mention it or at least give me a vibe without me directly asking the bride.
I hate to RSVP "no" if they dont mind me bringing an infant to the wedding. Sophia will be almost 4 months at the time of the wedding. She wont be eating anything or even using a chair. She could sit on my lap the whole time.

Tell me what you think and why. please and thank you!

[Deidre98]

Odds are, if they put on the invite that it's an adult only event, they don't want any children there, including infants. I know some facilities include babies as a person so that would mess with their head count and such if they are getting married at a place that does that. Honestly, I don't know if I would ask especially since they did put on the invite that it is adults only.

[jillian]

I agree with D. If it's on the inivitation, then it's pretty much a no.

One of my BMs asked me if it was OK for her 6 month old to attend. I had to tell her no because if I had made her an exception then I would have had to make one for this guest and that guest or have some guests upset that I wouldn't allow their kids to go. It was nothing against her or her baby, just if I said yes I could have had a messy situation.

[Christa]

I wouldn't ask. I agree with Deidre and Jillian that I think they don't want any kids or babies there. And that if they make an exception then other people will be upset that they couldn't bring their children.

[Winter_Bride]

I actually would ask.

I don't know many places that consider babes in arms (usually under the age of 1) as "people" when it comes to head count, and I also think there's a HUGE difference between a very small infant and a toddler or child. There's also a difference in finding childcare for an infant versus an older child, especially if you haven't left her before - 4 months is still really, really young!

I don't think it would hurt to double-check with the sister, especially if you're close to her. As the others have mentioned, I'd be prepared for a "no" - the couple might have used the "space constraint" thing as an excuse, or they might have the issue Jillian mentioned and need to set strict boundaries, but they also might have an age limit in mind that they didn't specify on the invitations.

Good luck!

[~Sara~]

:yeah:

I agree with Erie. I would bring it up with the sister, but not ask the bride directly, especially if you're close with the sister.

We've run into the same problem with a wedding we're going to next weekend. The invite was only addressed to Jim and me and didn't include Paxton. I didn't really push the issue since I got a snooty remark from MIL, but I really wish I would have. Especially since the wedding is out of town and Pax is only 3 months. Thankfully, we can leave him with family that live near there, but I'm kicking myself for not asking now.

Good luck :hug99:

[Mel]

i would ask too...
worse case scenario, she says no and then you know.

[Kristin]

I asked my friend and she asked her sister who said it was fine that I bring Sophia. I am glad that I asked!

[Mel]

:whoop:

[~Sara~]

Awesome! :thumbsup:

[jillian]

Glad it worked out for you!!

Are they able to offer you a high-chair for her?

[Kristin]

I didn't ask about a high chair. I am just going to hold her or put her in the stroller. I dont think she will be sitting up enough by that time for a high chair anyway.

[Winter_Bride]

That's wonderful, Kristin! I'm glad you don't have to worry about it now!

[~Sara~]

:yeah:

I agree with Erie. I would bring it up with the sister, but not ask the bride directly, especially if you're close with the sister.

We've run into the same problem with a wedding we're going to next weekend. The invite was only addressed to Jim and me and didn't include Paxton. I didn't really push the issue since I got a snooty remark from MIL, but I really wish I would have. Especially since the wedding is out of town and Pax is only 3 months. Thankfully, we can leave him with family that live near there, but I'm kicking myself for not asking now.

Good luck :hug99:

I wish I would have taken my own advice. What's the first thing that the mother of the groom (MIL's good friend) says when we get there? "Why didn't you bring Paxton?" I was so ticked. I really wish we could have brought him Of course by that time he was an hour away at my grandma's house. So, lesson learned, always ask!!

I'm so glad it's going to work out for you Kristin! :hug99: