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Coze
09-01-2006, 06:33 PM
Hi hi-

Okay... so let me know if I'm the crazy lady or if she's the crazy lady. This is really long too, and I'm sorry for that, but it's crazy goodness. Last year in school, my son was in class with this boy. This boy of course has a mother who stays at home and runs her boyfriend's plumbing business. I, after talking with her a few times, deemed her a Desperate Housewife so bored with her life that she had to cause chaos in others lives.

In July, my Honey's exwife ended up moving into the lady's rental house. We were having a housewarming party at the house and she was there. Up until this point, I didn't have any problem with her, I just chose not to associate with her. At the party, my youngest step-son was playing with a cable cord that had come loose. She told him 'now, you had better quit playing with that cord or I'm gonna have to spank your butt.' Now, let me say, we don't spank the kids unless it's something very serious. The eldest got caught lying one day and threw a temper tantrum because he got something taken away - he got a spanking. The youngest lied about something and covered it up - he got a spanking. Something serious... but we never even threaten it. I was upset and walked out of the house to cool down.

Until today, I hadn't seen her again, but after the incident at the house, I chose not to associate with her. On my way home from work Honey's ex-wife called and informed me that the boys were over at the Crazy Lady's house. I told her okay, and talked to Honey on his break and let him know this. He wanted to know if I would be okay picking the boys up or if I would rather wait for him to get off work. I told him it wouldn't be a problem and I would just go, get them and leave.

I knocked on the door of the house, no answer. Knocked again and said hello, no answer. I walked in because the door was partially open. She was in the kitchen watching Dr. Phil and doing dishes. She asked how my day was and I said 'fine'. Asked me how my wedding plans were coming and I said 'fine'. Asked me if I was stressed out and I said 'no because everything right now is out of my hands.' I wasn't rude or anything to her, just trying to get my boys together and get out of there. She then, in front of my kids, said 'you know, I don't appreciate how f*cking rude you are being to me in my own f*cking house.' I handed the keys to my eldest, since he was closest to me, and told him to start heading towards the car. My youngest was behind her and I reached out to grab him because he tends to move slower. She stepped between him and I. I told her that I was trying to get my son and get outta there. She then replied 'he's not your son'. Now, I am FURIOUS. She's serious lucky I didn't deck her right there. So she's following me and my youngest out the door, screaming and cursing at us. She says 'is that what you do, walk away?' I told her that I choose not to associate with people that are rude and cursing and my children will not be coming back here. She then says 'that's not your decision to make.' I say 'no, but their father can say that, and he already has said that.' She then says 'That's not his decision to make either. He doesn't have custody, their mother does.' Now I'm beyond livid and shaking.

I speed dial Honey's ex on the phone as I'm getting into the car and tell her what has just happened, telling her that I would appreciate that the boys don't go over there in the future because I don't trust her anymore. Honey and his ex share the kids two weeks at mom's house and two weeks at dad's house. The kids are basically in joint custody so that each parent gets equal time with the children. It's worked for years and will continue to work for years because that's the way the kids want it. As I'm talking to Honey's ex, the eldest says that he doesn't want to go to her house anymore, but he doesn't want to loose his friend. I get off the phone with Honey's ex, and since Crazy Lady has been blowing up the phone, she calls her back. This lady went and told his ex that I came in there screaming at her, asking where the kids are, forcing them out the door - basically calling me a crazy lady. As Honey's ex is telling me this, I am getting even more mad. I hand the phone to the eldest after telling her to talk to her son about it. He tells her what he saw, which is concurrent with my story, then tells his mom that he doesn't want to go over there anymore... Geez... why must people like that exist in this world????

My biggest problem is that she is my Honey's ex's landlord and at some events she is going to be there because the ex can't help but invite everyone to an event. I am so furious I don't ever want to see her again. I'm upset, because those kids are my kids, or as close to my kids as I'm probably ever going to get, and how dare someone tell me that I'm not their mother.

TTFN...
D.J.

Sk8ermaiden
09-01-2006, 06:40 PM
She's just a Bit*h, with a capital B. And if your FH's ex will still invite her to things after she has acted that way in front of/to her children, then she's a little unbalanced too. This woman just either enjoys causing drama, or is mentally unstable. Either way, the children that the three of you are responsible should not be in her care.

Coze
09-01-2006, 07:01 PM
Hi hi-

There's actually 4 of us that are responsible for the children. The ex got married in December and is very active in the boy's lives, despite that he is living in Iraq right now (thank you George Bush). I just got off the phone with Honey and he said that he is not okay with the boys going over there anymore, but the ex still doesn't see the problem. I'm still really upset and hurt about what she said. :(

TTFN...
D.J.

KathyandJer
09-01-2006, 08:16 PM
:crazy: That's all I can say - and I'm NOT talking about you!!!

Poloke
09-01-2006, 11:49 PM
That lady is nuts. Standing between you and your child- I'd of lost it but what you did was much better than losing control. I think she wanted you to go bananas in her house so she could start sh*t.

Your honey's ex is in a predicament of her own. If she doesn't play nice with the landlord, gosh only knows what she'll try to do to her or make her life hell about the kids. I've heard of ppl calling domestics and child welfare just to make someone else's life miserable-and only b/c they can. well, its the only thing that they could do to exact revenge on another adult w/ kids that they were pissed at. I hope you got what i was saying.

The words right out of her own son's mouth should have been enough for honey's ex to understand that they don't wanna be with crazy lady. Or, is honey's ex the type to need to see it with her own eyes?

I know all you can do is keep the kids away from her on your own watch, and FH's watch and let the ex & her new hubby know how you feel and request that your wishes be carried out. I dunno, sadly it sounds like the ex is going to need to see this with her own eyes.

If there is another incident with this woman coming at you and yelling, dial your phone right in front of her and call the ex so she can hear it for herself...and then call the police. You need this documented b/c it sounds like it can just continue to escalate until its full out nasty.

Good luck DJ, Hugs....

*Ashley*
09-06-2006, 01:31 PM
Politics aside, that's great that they even have a father figure who is in their lives and stable with the ex.

His ex sounds decent, but she's got some questionable judgement. You were not in the wrong, the lady just sounds like she has issues with you and took what SHE thought was rude to turn psycho. I would never let my kids stay with her again (and they ARE you children too, they look at you as a mother figure just like they look at their stepfather as a father figure). Don't even worry about it, she's the one who has issues -- what kind of person would sit and scream and holler obscenities in front of children? Sounds like trash to me.

*hugs*

Maria 05
09-06-2006, 01:36 PM
The lady is crazy not you. Definitely if the children do not want to go over there they do not need to. I think the children are very lucky to have you your FH your Fh's ex and Ex's DH (Jeeze thats complicated) so stable and friendly and all getting on.

The land lady is crazy and sounds like she has serious issues.

Coze
09-06-2006, 03:27 PM
Hi hi-

So we all sat down last night and talked. The Crazy Lady sent an appology letter to me which was more of a 'I think you're taking your problems with the ex out on me and that's wrong'. I couldn't believe it. The ex and I had some problems in the past, but we are more than close now... I mean sheesh... she's a BM in my wedding!!! Us adults sat down and talked and agreed that the Crazy Lady would never intentionally hurt the kids, but some of her actions had to be questioned. The ex talked to her this morning and she has seriously been put in her place. The kids are only allowed to go over to her house when they are at the ex's house and it's basically a don't call us, we'll call you situation any other time.

I realize our family situation is unique. How many families do you know that the ex's get along so well they hang out on Saturday night and get drunk together. Today was the first day of school and she and I walked the boys to school together. It was really cool. Not a very common situation though, I realize that. I have come to terms with my inability to have children, and cherish the times I have with the boys...

TTFN...
D.J.

Deidre98
09-06-2006, 04:07 PM
DJ, you are very lucky to be in the situation you are with your FH's ex. What you 4 are doing is best for the boys and that is all you should worry about. My uncle and ex-aunt got divorced when my cousins were I think 9 and 12 and both got remarried and have the same situation you do. Now that my cousins are grown, they are amazing people and know that all 4 of their parents love them. I know this will happen with your boys as well. Good Luck!!


PS and yes, that lady is crazy and I think you came up with an acceptable solution to a tough situation!

*Ashley*
09-06-2006, 04:10 PM
I'm glad to hear that things seem to be better D.J.

I also think it's magnificent that you and his ex get along so well. My brother has a really great relationship with my mom (his step mom) and I think it's great when step parents are viewed more as extra parents instead of step, ya know?

Coze
09-06-2006, 04:30 PM
Hi hi-

More people to ask to play video games when mom or dad say no... more people to ask to go outside to play when step-mom or step-dad say no... We've gotten used to it all... It was so funny... I walked the youngest to his class line today and one of the kids asked 'is that your mom', and he smiled and replied 'nope, that's my D.J.' I was laughing at the little kids face... he was purely confused...

TTFN...
D.J.