Guest List for Shower/Bachelorette Party

[nikkiscott]

Ok so my mom has been asking me to give her a copy of the guest list so that when she starts to plan this party she will know who to invite. Does she only have to invite the ladies on the guest list?? Or can she invite people that are not on the guest list??

See we are having 100 close family and friends attend the ceremony and reception by invite and then we are going to verbally invite more people to the reception. Can she invite the ladies that we verbally invite as well to the shower/bachelorette party?? Also what about oot guests do you still invite them as well?? Even if you are 100% that they wont come?

I have no idea about any of this. Some help would be great thanks ahead of time ladies.

[*meghan*]

I wouldn't invite people that aren't on your guest list. IMO it would be rude to invite them to a shower or party, but not your wedding.

My aunt invited a few OOT guests to my shower, but only people that I thought would appreciate receiving an invite (close family and friends), even though I pretty much knew they wouldn't be able to attend.

Hope this helps :)

[angie]

I wouldn't invite people that aren't on your guest list. IMO it would be rude to invite them to a shower or party, but not your wedding.

:agreesign: You will hurt some feelings if people are invited to the shower and not the wedding ceremony.

I was wondering about OOT guests as well.

[MemphisMom]

Shower guests should also be wedding guests. Do not invite anyone who is not on the wedding invitation list, it's considered a "gift grab".

I would send OOT shower invitations only to immediate family (if at all).

[Sabby12s]

I have a similar dilemna, Nikki! We are getting married in Vegas and not everyone will be there so who do we invite to the shower? Tough situation.

[Angela]

For my shower, we invited only female relatives on both sides, which added up to about 60 people (only about 20 showed up). For my bach party, which is Saturday, I wanted something really, really small. There are only 14 of us--the bridal party, which consist of Tom's 3 sisters, my sister, and my older cousin, my mom, his mom, my grandmother, four of my aunts, and a younger cousin. I don't really know the etiquette for a bachelorette party, but I imagine it's the same as a shower--only invite people who are invited to teh wedding.

[MemphisMom]

I agree, only those invited to the wedding should be invited to a shower. The exception here is a destination wedding. If you are doing that, and having a local reception afterward, then I think those invited to that reception could be invited to a shower.

[PurpleFlower]

Question: Now what if someone from work throws you a shower and invites everyone from work but not every invited to the shower is invited to the wedding? How does that work, since you didn't have anything to do with the shower till you got there?

[Tanyak]

Work showers are different, I think. Very few co-workers expect to be invited to the wedding, especially if you don't hang out with them outside of the office. I had a lovely work shower and got some really generous and unexpected gifts. But I only invited two women from the office. We work very closely together and I consider them friends. I don't think you're ever obligated to invite anyway from work, including bosses.

[MemphisMom]

I agree with Tanyak, work showers don't follow the same rules. Many workplaces will have a shower without asking you for a guest list so you are not held to the same rules regarding wedding invitations. In those cases, the coworkers probably don't expect a wedding invitation and are pleased to share in some part of the festivities.

[PurpleFlower]

ok That is what I thought but I started to get a little worried!!

[MemphisMom]

Well, I'm not Miss Manners, but I think you are OK!

[nikkiscott]

Ladies thanks so much for the info. I think that this will be ok.