FIL's SUCK! *VENT*

[sarahm08]

So, last night FH and I decide to go over to his parents to drop off our Save the Date cards and magnets. They complained about everything to do with the wedding the whole time we were there.

We changed the date to July from September and that was a total inconvenience to them. FMIL actually said "I hope I'm not working that day" FH was pissed.

We do not want to invite FSIL(28 years old with a 3 1/2 year old kid) because she is a theif. She stole FBIL's(25) guitar and $80 from his bedroom. FMIL said that she won't come to the wedding if FSIL is not invited. FH said fine don't come then. If we invite FSIL we will literally have to have someone guard the gift/card table. AND we're not having kids at the wedding, so that will be another huge issue.

I don't want to be flamed for this, but FH and I both agree that we do not want his sister there. I know family is family and all that crap, but family shouldn't steal from each other. Have any of you been in a similar situation. What should we do?

Thanks in advance.

[lizaanne]

Ask your Best Man to collect and hold all the cards for you. You should do this anyway unless you have a secured box that they are going into. Never leave them on the table.

I'm sorry about your family issues, family can be a blessing or a curse sometimes. I hope things work out for you. I can only suggest that you are open with your concerns with FH's parents, and ask their help in managing the FSIL.

~Liza

[Winter_Bride]

I don't want to be flamed for this, but FH and I both agree that we do not want his sister there. I know family is family and all that crap, but family shouldn't steal from each other. Have any of you been in a similar situation. What should we do?

Thanks in advance.

I haven't, thank goodness! But I think that yeah, family's family, but FSIL shouldn't steal from her own brother!!! I think that maybe you should still invite her, BUT if that's the case, see if you can get a room or something at your venue for guests to place gifts. See if you can PAY an extra person at said venue to watch the room for you...

It's stupid to have to go through all of this. You say your wedding is "no children", well with any luck, maybe she won't come because of that. I don't know what else to say. I don't envy your position, but thankfully your FH is right along with you in all this!

[mrs.g]

Sorry you're going through this. My advice is to follow your heart and do what makes your and FH happy and what's good for you and FH. It's your guys' day, not anyone elses.

I made the mistake of trying to please everyone else and accommodate them instead of us. We ended up eloping and not having a wedding or any type of celebration. I still regret it. I mean I regret trying to please everyone else, because I never got to have my wedding. I wish I would have stuck to my guns and done it when and where we wanted to do it. If they came, great, if they didn't, oh well, they can see pictures. If my mom didn't want to come b/c my dad's wife was invited, fine, don't come - your loss. I wish I as strong as I am now, back then.

Anyway, I hope that you and your FH are able to come to a good solution/compromise. :)

[carolinalady67]

I agree with Mrs. Garcia to follow your heart. If it was just you not wanting to invite FSIL I would say to maybe give in, but if FH doesn't want to invite her then don't. But just make sure it isn't a right now situation. And in a couple years you'll regret it, know what I mean? Good luck with the FILs. But it at least sounds like you and FH are on the same page and that is what really matters.

[jillian]

I agree with Erie. She's his sister and someday she may realize that she's a rotten theif. My venue offers locking the cards up in their safe, I would definately check into a safe or a safe place after x amount of time.

[Flying_V_Goddess]

She stole a guitar?! :faint: That's a sin in my eyes!

But seriously. If the people here tell me I don't have to invite my FIL because he's a pig who makes fun of my body (my chest size in particular)..........why should you have to invite your SIL because she's a theif? Like they told me, you don't HAVE to invite anyone and you don't need that sort of crap-filled stress on your wedding day.

And let's suppose you weren't able to secure your gifts and cards somehow and she was there...do you really want to be constantly worrying about whether she's lurking by the gift table ready to snatch something? I sure wouldn't.

[Jaime]

Yep, we had a relative, though not as close as a sibling, who was a thief. We did not invite him because of this, however, it helped because FIL was 100% on our side on not inviting him.

[sarahm08]

Just a little update, my FIL's think that all should be forgiven now because she had only taken the guitar to a pawn shop to get a loan. FBIL now has his guitar back, but only because he threatened to go to the cops. But I still don't want her there and neither does FH. My parents don't really want her there either, and they haven't even met her.

Thanks for everyone's input, it really helps to know what others would do in a similar or the same situation. Keep the suggestions coming!

[Winter_Bride]

I just read your original post, and your FMIL mentioned she "hopes she's not working that day"...

WTF?? Why didn't I respond to THAT part of your post???

The fact of the matter is that if your FILs want to support your marriage, they will come to your wedding, regardless if you change the date (unless they're getting life-saving surgery that day!!) or if you invite FSIL. Otherwise they're blackmailing you into doing things their way. There are obviously some circumstances that might not allow them to attend, but your wedding is 8 months away.

I know that my parents and DH's parents would have come hell or high water to our wedding, even if it occured in a monastary in Tibet. They are being unreasonable, and if they don't love you two enough to come to your wedding regardless of the day, then do you REALLY want them there?

Sorry for my rant!! I know whatever you decide will be what's best for you. I just can't believe your FILs would treat their son that way.

[*Ashley*]

Who is paying for the wedding? If your parents are paying for it, and you AND your FH do not want her there it shouldn't even be an issue.

They all sound silly. I don't blame you for not wanting a thief at your wedding.

[Krissy]

It's your wedding....that gives you the right to make the guest list. Make your decision and stick by it. Don't ask opinions (to family) that just opens the door for them to try to get you to change.

Good luck! I can totally see why you wouldn't want her there.