Things People Protested About! [Archive]

nikkiana

07-12-2006, 11:51 PM

Has there been anything you've done or planned to do or wear that people, friends or family, have protested about you doing? What did you do or want to do that they didn't like? How did you handle the situation?

lunarmagic

07-13-2006, 12:04 AM

Oh heck yes.

My CHOICE OF LOCATION. Longest running protest in history, possibly. Ran the entire time I was engaged. :mad: They wanted it there, I wanted it here, where I now live. They lost. I had to listen to them whine and complain and cajole and threaten for 9 months. Grrrrr.

There were smaller things... like why I didn't want A or B or C, but it was all minor (veil, etc.). I don't really remember exactly.

Melly

07-13-2006, 12:07 AM

Let's see...

We had a meal.
We had seating cards.
We had RSVP cards.
We had a DJ.
We had our wedding downtown.
We had tattooed people in our BP.

I'm sure there are more. Pretty much I did everything the exact opposite of my husband's family so we heard a lot of, "but that's not how we do it" babble :blah:

nikkiana

07-13-2006, 12:08 AM

It's been a lot of minor things....

FMIL didn't seem to be too thrilled with us wanting an outdoor wedding over a church wedding... She seemed pacified over the fact we were having a minister and not a JP officiate the ceremony, but the minister had to back out due to health reasons so we may end up using a JP afterall... I don't expect FMIL to be thrilled over that.

It's been little things with my mother...

Like, FH and I don't want to do the bouquet and garter toss because A. his family doesn't do it and B. every wedding that FH has ever been to has had the creepiest guy in the room catch the garter and the 14 year old girl catch the bouquet.

And the fact that I'm not dead set on wearing white shoes....

Lacie

07-13-2006, 12:28 AM

The biggest thing was that I made people sing love songs rather than clink on their glasses to get us to kiss at the reception. OMG, my FIL was PISSED! There were other little things that various people didn't like, but that was the main one.

Rosebud

07-13-2006, 01:07 AM

The biggest thing was that I made people sing love songs rather than clink on their glasses to get us to kiss at the reception. OMG, my FIL was PISSED!

I think thats a cute idea, Lacie. FIL just probably couldn't carry a tune.

Angela

07-13-2006, 07:18 AM

The fact that we're having a full Catholic mass has been the biggest issue, actually. His parent's are completely against the idea, and my grandmother is complaining because she'll have to sit for like, a whole hour. Our priest does Mass in about 40 - 45 minutes, so add the wedding ceremony, and we'll be done in an hour or so.

My aunt is doing our flowers, and she freaked out when I told her I wanted an all red, not an all white, bouquet. The only thing that convinced her was telling her my photog said the white wouldn't show up well against a white dress.

BJ'sBabyGirl

07-13-2006, 07:24 AM

We are waiting 2 years to get married. My family still doesn't understand that one (he is in at least 2 weddings next year and we are paying for this thing, plus trying to buy a house, put me through college, build his car, etc).

My grandparents are going to throw a fit when they find out that there will be alcohol at the reception.

We aren't getting married in my grandparents church.

We aren't using my cousin as the pastor, nor are we using my old youth pastor.

We aren't providing a sitter for my monster cousins.

jillian

07-13-2006, 08:00 AM

Our choice of location. The people complaining that it's soooo expensive aren't even the ones paying for it!

Our choice of having no children expect for the 2 in the WP. I'm hearing nothing but positive remarks from the parents, it's this one little PITA girl that's complaining. Before I get flamed for calling her a PITA you seriously have to meet this girl, she's a huge brat. (plus she called me fat right to my face).

RadishWife

07-13-2006, 08:14 AM

My MOH was really good at not letting me hear anything negative from others but now that I have been married for almost four years (today is my 5 year of dating anniversary!!!) she is spilling her guts.

Some were upset that I had the wedding on a Sunday.
MOH (also sister) was upset that she had to help cut the cake....it was self serve (but she wanted to cut the cake...but then did not)

That is about it and it was so minor that I am not sore about it.

serda23

07-13-2006, 09:53 AM

I have this one aunt that complains about the fact that we arent inviting everyone and their brother to the actual ceremony. We are having just immediate family and close friends, and everyone else is welcome to the reception. Oh well. To be honest she's a lot of the reason we decided to do the smaller ceremony... (dont tell her that though!)

Jaime

07-13-2006, 02:02 PM

Trinia

07-13-2006, 04:38 PM

Having pictures taken before the ceremony, and my possible veil choice. they werent big deals thou. :)

PurpleFlower

07-13-2006, 10:17 PM

right now my FMIL is saying that every dress I show her is too sexy! but it is my dress and I will pick the right one!

How much is being spent on the wedding!

BrightEyes

07-13-2006, 10:47 PM

The Reception ending at 9pm. Sorry that we can't have a evening wedding and I am not having a three hour gap between ceremony andf reception and my dad is not paying for a 7 hours thing. DEAL. We'll go out afterwards, okay?

My friend Cindy (and BM) seems to be grumping about everything lately.

Andrea

07-14-2006, 11:36 AM

Im a "best woman" in a wedding. I've been planning everything because they mostly her, have NO clue what the heck they're doing...anyways, she told me she wanted my help a lot so i've been giving her great ideas that ive seen on here and she had the nerve to tell him (her fiancee) the other day that ive got no idea what im talking about and only getting ideas from on here...they're still ideas aren't they?

belle67

07-14-2006, 12:49 PM

The only thing I have heard is from my sister (MOH). She seemed surprised that we were not doing a bouquet or garter toss. I explained it this way:
We are both in our 30's and 99% of our friends and family are married. There might be 2 or 3 people that could show up for it. I don't think they would appreciate that.
There are no kids (except for FH nephew... RB) and my niece (FG) or teenagers coming to the reception that could do it.
So we aren't doing it. :D

Carrie429

07-14-2006, 02:05 PM

We didn't really have any big protests about anything from anyone - I guess thats a perk of doing most of the planning on my own lol. MIL didn't see the point in hiring a string quartet, though (of course, she didn't see the point in many things).

Jaci

07-14-2006, 03:01 PM

I wanted to wear fairy wings. My Mother said she would cancel the wedding first. I did it her way because it was not worth the fight. When I reach my goal weight I am posing for pictures wearing nothing but body glitter and fairy wings, and Jaci is going to take them! :jump4joy: :hysterics:

Oh my goodness, that's hot! I can't wait, you'd better get to the goal AND fast!

okay...to keep this from a hijack...I don't know that anyone has complained, my mom wants to invite everyone and their mom, but I vetoed some of her guests.

Jaime

07-14-2006, 03:46 PM

Oh my goodness, that's hot! I can't wait, you'd better get to the goal AND fast!

okay...to keep this from a hijack...I don't know that anyone has complained, my mom wants to invite everyone and their mom, but I vetoed some of her guests.

Yeah well talk to me in about 250 lbs :hysterics:

jrbecca

07-14-2006, 05:08 PM

So far, the only complaint I've received is that we're spending too much. People have little room to talk, however, as we're paying for everything ourselves. At first, my FFIL was appalled that we didn't want to have a potluck for a wedding reception. Then my aunt thought I was being ridiculous because I didn't want to watercolor my invitations (yes, she actually suggested this). Then my mother is complaining about how far she'll have to travel come to the wedding (she lives in California, I live in Oregon), and has already said she won't come to my bridal shower. And did I mention how my FMIL keeps insisting that she do the floral centerpieces, and while she knows I want tulips, she keeps showing me centerpieces with nothing but roses! Argh!

Marisa

07-14-2006, 06:29 PM

There have been little complaints -

1. the reception site is too far away (maybe 20-25 minutes from the church);
2. the horse and carriage would take too long (we're only going 1/2 way to the reception by horse & carriage);
3. the reception is only 3 hours long (I actually don't want a reception; we're doing a cocktail reception to get me through it);
4. there will be "dancing" at the reception (I wouldn't even justify that one with an answer - if I am the only one dancing I'll remember the joy of that pleasure foreer);
5. no garter or bouquet toss (I might compromise on this one and give the tossing bouquet to my MOH and the garter to the BM who gets married the following May)
6. No flowers at the reception (they need to be happy that there will be a reception...)

Venus

07-14-2006, 10:52 PM

My mom wanted me to have the colors red and black with a red beaded outfit that we actually even ordered. The more I thought about it the more I realized these were my mom's colors not mine. I finally gently told her that I really didnt want those colors etc etc. Our colors are Lavender and Cream my choice.

Winter_Bride

07-15-2006, 01:55 AM

I'm a natural redhead. I have blonde eyebrows and eyelashes, and NEVER have I done ANYTHING to alter that (no brow pencils, no mascara). I had both my mother and a few makeup counter ladies tell me that I should look "nice" for my photos instead (instead of what? how I normally look??).

DH's family is VERY anti-registry. We got quite a few complaints about that one.

I didn't "honor" DH's heritage (he's Ukrainian, but self-atmittedly, only in the food), but I had Irish dancers at the reception. I used to DO Irish dance. And if we could have somehow incorporated his curling years into the reception in a nice way, we would have. (that comment came from my MIL, who's only Ukrainian because she married one. Otherwise she's more Irish than I am!)

But something I've learned for myself, and from others around me, is that there will ALWAYS be someone who finds fault in something!

KathyandJer

07-15-2006, 11:01 AM

Everything so far has been minor... expecting that if I wear a veil it won't be a long one, how I shouldn't be inviting this or that person because it's like forcing them to make the long trip etc...etc... Oh, and FFIL protested the rehearsal dinner we started planning, but then offered to pay for one at a local italian restaurant, so we let him have his way :lol:

Poloke

07-15-2006, 03:48 PM

It's a running list:

*the length of our engagement
*wedding location & reception area
*any wedding gowns w/ color, the ivory/white debate
*my veil- I do not want a blusher
*the bridesmaids attire
*my desire to wear flip flops
*the menu
*my wedding band
*the choice to have memorial candles/pictures
*too many more things to list.... *sighs*

How do i deal with it? Most of the time, I remind people its my wedding not thiers. Sometimes I'll just say thanks for the suggestions... and then do what we want anyway.

*Diane*

07-15-2006, 08:19 PM

His parents protested the marriage. :blue: They thought it was ridiculous that we were getting married at age 19 when I wasn't even pregnant. They thought we would be divorced in a few years and I would take him for everything he was worth. *which financially was nothing!*

His frat brothers protested that the reception was cake and punch. Hello??? We were 19, broke as hell and could barely afford the bottle of Blue Nun wine he bought when he proposed. *small aside- Blue Nun wine sucks! :heee:*

kate

07-15-2006, 11:33 PM

My mom is complaining about having to wear a black dress.
Our reception ending at 9:00- its winter in Iowa, there is no way we can have a gap between the ceremony and reception, people will probably get snowed in somewhere if they leave :)
No bouquet or garter toss. Too Bad

Winter_Bride

07-16-2006, 12:59 AM

So I have a new one, (and yes, I've been married for a year and a half already!)

My BIL is getting married at the beginning of next month, and my MIL made a comment about how much they spent on their wedding vs. how much we spent (our budget was twice theirs, but was still only $10 000!!!) They think we wasted our money (they had initially offered to fly us and my immediate family out to where they live and we could get married there by the ocean - nice thought, but the party back home afterwards would still cost $$, AND we both wanted a traditional wedding that EVERYONE could share in!)

So yeah. We wasted our money and apparently I'm also materialistic. Might I just add that we didn't even ASK either his parents or mine for financial help? On purpose!

Gah!

(*disclaimer*- I love my MIL, I really do! But she's from a small town and I'm "city", and she feels I corrupting her son at times... Gah! But she really is a lovely lady! For the most part...;))

*alissa*

07-16-2006, 12:41 PM

Um, the fact I got married to begin with! My mom loved him/hated him/loved him/now hates him.
It is getting riduclous. She is mad now becasue of med probs he lost his job. She blames him! HELLO.....he had seizures while at work! Grrrrrrrrr. Whatever.

Cindy

07-17-2006, 09:18 AM

Well, I haven't heard any complaints yet... but we still have just under 4 months to go! So, we'll see.....;)

~LeAna~

07-17-2006, 09:37 AM

I told my aunt that would be making my cake that my dress was called gold (mind you its still ivory) and that I might want gold ribbon around my cake layers to match the detailing. She said it would look awful! After that I wanted to go have someone else make my cake, so it would look how I wanted. My dad said her feelings would be hurt though..

SmilingHoney

08-29-2006, 10:01 AM

Our wedding is on a Sunday.
Our wedding is on Labor Day weekend.
We're not doing it in a church.
We're not allowing children.
We're having a buffet.
Our timeline.
My color scheme

:sigh: but you know what. I've let most of it just roll by me. I didn't want a traditional wedding (we wanted to go to Hawaii and do it on the beach w/ a few close friends) but since both mothers asked I said fine, but I'm planning it my way. I warned them, they just didn't listen :lol:

Maria 05

08-29-2006, 10:09 AM

We didnt have much
The cash bar was the main one but we got around that as tactfully as possible it was just a culture clash

KathyandJer

08-29-2006, 11:48 AM

We didnt have much
The cash bar was the main one but we got around that as tactfully as possible it was just a culture clash

Luckily Jer and I have that "out" as well. There are certain things that we're doing that are common in his area, and things that are happening that are common to everyone from around here. So, some people will have to just "suck it up, buttercup" and deal with it ;)

lizaanne

08-29-2006, 01:00 PM

Nothing so far. I think everyone who knows me knows better than to complain when we are footing the bill. I'm pretty darn stuborn, and I don't appreciate being told that something should be a certain way "just because". I'm not one of those who feel that it's the bride's day and the bride should have her own way in all things, you still have to be realistic and kind, and all those things. But when when it comes to personal taste and ideas, it's best to not tell me what to do. :)

~Liza

rowanmayfairs

08-29-2006, 02:29 PM

So far no complaints here..

Me and James are paying for a little more than half..

Its OUR wedding so no one has said anything so far :) Everyone has left the planning/etc up to ME . James doesn't seem to mind to let me do most of it and gives his input when needed :)

Unless they want to pay for it and plan it, then I don't want anyone telling me I can't do this or that..or need to do this or that.

lizaanne

08-29-2006, 02:55 PM

Unless they want to pay for it and plan it, then I don't want anyone telling me I can't do this or that..or need to do this or that.

Amen to that!

~Liza

*meghan*

08-29-2006, 03:29 PM

Amen to that!

~Liza

I second that! :agree:

jillian

08-29-2006, 04:21 PM

destinationbride07

08-29-2006, 04:57 PM

Luna same here...LOCATION....errbody is like why hawaii and I am like "cause I said so! lol lol

MrsAbi

08-29-2006, 07:51 PM

Our BM has made a few com-plaints about the location. It's about 1 1/2 hrs. away. Of course, he got married in Jamaica. So he can kiss my butt.

FFIL has tried to talk FH out of the wedding a few times. But he cheated on his first two wives and married the third for her money. So FH takes any marriage advice from him with a grain of salt.

~*Kate*~

05-10-2009, 08:34 PM

I made one of the groomsman wear shoes. Admittedly, he had an injured foot, but not so bad he couldn't wear shoes-- and I told him he could wear flops at the reception. However it was an issue BEFORE the injury, so I wasn't feeling too generous after he hurt himself. :shuffle:

Mel

05-10-2009, 09:04 PM

the time frame and religiousness of our ceremony
my veil choice (super small birdcage)
wanting colored shoes (though mom came around on that one eventually and actually found the shoes i am planning on wearing, though with the recent knee fracture, that might change again)
not inviting all my million cousins i have no relationship with

Jader

05-10-2009, 09:42 PM

FMIL and FSIL have pretty much disapproved of everything I've done. First it was the location, FMIL didn't like that it was outside and not at their church, she didn't like that we aren't having their pastor do our ceremony, and the biggest thing she's protesting right now is the receiving line. (Which makes me chuckle, because she's the one who insisted on inviting all these random people that neither me or Troy know and yet she's not willing to introduce us to them at the wedding!) I won that battle. I told her if she didn't want to introduce us to them, they weren't invited.

FSIL has disagreed with the fact that I'm doing brown dresses and black tuxes the entire time we've been engaged. And she also doesn't approve of the way we're doing out invitations either. Oh yeah...and she thinks our marriage will be cursed because we're not doing a unity candle!

Kimberly

05-10-2009, 11:01 PM

The time frame was the biggest thing.

My now BIL was really upset that he had to be at the church "so early" for pictures. It was all he could talk about. (He was the best man!) It upset me that for just that one day he couldn't suck it up. It still bothers me thinking about it!

Mel

05-10-2009, 11:03 PM

just tonight i got in an argument with my mother, who told me i shouldn't wear my knee brace for the ceremony....
um, i fractured my knee cap, i'm lucky i'm only in a damn brace, if the doc says to still wear it, it'll be on under the damn dress!

Kelly

05-11-2009, 05:55 AM

that's crazy..tell her to try doing it

Jaci

05-11-2009, 09:04 AM

Kate, that is funny because I also had a groomsman I worried about not wearing shoes :p I told him it was fine for the reception but he couldn't wear the kilt socks, he had to go bare, since the socks were rented :D

And I've photographed a wedding before where the bride had to wear a boot cast, the thing was huge but you couldn't see it at all under her dress!

RadishWife

05-11-2009, 09:08 AM

Amy

05-18-2009, 12:01 AM

With my parents (more my mom) it's everything about the reception: guest list, food, possible location, what people will "think" about it and me for doing it the way I want too.

Certain family members are being rude/make random comments about us going to Mexico to get married; whatever, because they don't have to come, they can come to the reception in Edmonton afterwards.

I'm not changing anything for other people, this is what we want and it's our day! (Sorry if that all came out rude, I just had another situation tonight so I'm a bit frustrated at the moment!)