How Do You Get Through To Them!?

[Mandy]

Argh! I guess I am just looking for advice on how to actually get through to my BP. We're now about 3 1/2 months from the big day and 1 BM has ordered her dress. No joke. I've written emails, I've made calls, I've even sent out BP Newsletters...and still nothing. I'm just getting angry now. I'm really sick of everyone treating me like I'm talking about this because I have nothing better to do. When I tell them I need them to go out and do something they just laugh it off and I end up doing it alone. I don't have that luxury anymore and I don't know how else to handle it.

One of my MOHs has been my best friend since 6th grade. She's literally like a sister to me. But lately she's been avoiding me like the plaugue. She told me she couldn't come up here for my Bridal Shower, but she's coming up here 2 days before it for my Bday. Instead she'll be heading back down on the day of my shower so she can be there on Snday for another person's shower. Her excuse? "Well, I knew you wouldn't get mad." *sigh*

So what do you do? Should I raise a little heck here? I am so worried about looking like a Bridezilla, but it's like no one listens! I may as well be talking to my cat! Any help would be appreciated!

[Jaci]

it's getting to the point where they really do need to get in gear and order those dresses. If it's going to be so difficult, you might have to let some of them take the high road...or at least seem like they are. I would try something along the lines of saying "I've just been told that the bridesmaid dresses need to be ordered by such and such a date. If you are unable to order them by such and such a date, please let me know." and if they can't, then you'll have to give them the option to back out of the wedding. It might be the reality check that they need.

[MrsAbi]

Wow, my girls have a dress order deadline at the end of this month. But, all the dresses are being ordered through me. So they can't really put it off. If I don't have their measurements and money by the 21st, they'll being getting a call on the 22nd and everyday thereafter until I get it.

The BMs that are giving you problems, are they married?

I've found that my matron of honor, my only married girl and the furthest away, is the one who has offered the most help. Out of the other two, my friend asks from time to time how things are going. The third girl is my little sister and she has threaten to leave the BP several times, but she's 18 and going through that "I hate everyone" phase. She just left to spend the rest of the summer with our step mom in NC. Step mom has promised to get Rachel's measurement, even if she was to take them while she's asleep and send the money.

[Mandy]

I agree Abi. I think a lot of it has to do with inexperiance. Only one of my BMs is married. One is engaged and the others are all single. I figured they just may not know how a wedding goes, but I've tried being nice about it, and they think I'm kidding or something. I've given them a deadline by the end of the month...so hopefully that'll get them in gear. Fingers crossed because I can't deal with keeping on top of them AND plan the rest of this wedding!!

[MsJessica07]

I think hearing the drama of wedding parties is the real reason I haven't chosen bridesmaids yet!

[Carrie429]

Sorry you are going though this - It sounds a lot like some of the things I faced. My only suggestion would be to do the one thing that I didn't do - and thats to sit down and talk to them about how you feel (or write a letter). I have no idea if this makes things better or worse because I didn't do it... But a "problem" BP doesn't just go away on your wedding day - I learned that the hard way.

[KathyandJer]

Hope they get their S*** together soon for you!

I definitely agree that it's experience (or lack thereof). People who don't know what's involved in wedding planning see Bridezilla; those who have been close to the situation or have done it themselves completely understand that it relieves alot of stress if things are done in a timely matter!

:grouphug: I would give them a date...and give a date a few weeks before the final deadline for the dresses!

[jillian]

:ohreally:

[KathyandJer]

:ohreally:

:rofl: Yep, that's another idea too :lolroll: