Etiquette For Selecting Bridesmaid Dresses? [Archive]

jrbecca

07-13-2006, 05:37 PM

Is there an etiquette dictacting how to select bridesmaid dresses? Should the girls be able to pick the style, but I the color? Is the bride allowed to pick both the style and color?

I'm having some issues with my MOH who, despite knowing that I had made an appointment with David's Bridal this weekend, went to another David's Bridal location to try on some of my style ideas. Her feedback was merciless, complaining about the color (salmon), dress length (tea), and styles (straps, A-line) I was suggesting. Is this normal? I was not expecting this from her at all and am still reeling from the shock of her actions and behavior. I should have expected this when she started complaining about the odd number of attendants (I have two, FH has one).

At this point, I'm looking at another vendor who has the color and styles I'm looking for. Is it beyond my privileges as a bride to gather the girls' feedback on styles and then select one from another vendor, saying "this is the dress?"

I would love some advice and "I've been there" stories.

nikkiana

07-13-2006, 05:45 PM

BMs can complain all they like, but when it all comes down to it.... You've got the final say on color and style.

MsJessica07

07-13-2006, 06:06 PM

I'll second that opinion...

It's up to YOU not them how much imput they have on the dress...some go with all of them to the salon and pick one out, others have them get a specific colors, while other brides tell them the style and color without imput...

You're the one who has the final say.

*TanyaJeanne*

07-13-2006, 07:32 PM

You have the final say on what you want them to wear. You are the final say on color and style!

Kari

07-13-2006, 07:54 PM

To give you an idea...

My BM's were told "this is the dress I have chosen for you to wear and it will be platinum"

They never got to try it on before it was delivered

*Diane*

07-13-2006, 07:55 PM

You have the final say but remember that these are your friends and you value their opinion. DD chose the color and brand, then gave her BMs a choice of styles. Some girls chose a halter style, some chose strapless, some chose spaghetti straps. They felt comfortable and pretty so they were not worried about their appearance, thus giving them freedom to enjoy themselves (and help her out).

Lacie

07-13-2006, 08:28 PM

Yes, you have the final say. I will admit that I complained endlessly about a dress I had to wear, as did the other BMs - it was an unflattering color for all of us (cobalt blue) and it fit us all pretty horribly. But it's what the bride wanted, so we put up with it. :dunno: And really, it wasn't that bad - definitely not worth all the bitching I did about it. It's only one day. :dunno:

jillian

07-13-2006, 08:42 PM

Oh it's completely normal. Actually it's pretty much a requirement of BMs to bitch and moan about their dress. What I tell my unmarried friends, "well you can have that dress for your BMs when you get married."

Krissy

07-13-2006, 09:54 PM

I don't think you're being unreasonable at all! This is your day!

Jaime

07-13-2006, 10:19 PM

I personaly picked the color and let my girls pick the pattern they wanted. It ended up biting me in the butt when my MOH did some creative editing of her dress and they weren't all the same length. In the end I should have put my foot down and made sure I had the final say.

jrbecca

07-14-2006, 10:54 AM

Thanks for the support, ladies! I e-mailed my MOH informing her that I'd like to stick with our Noon appointment to see what styles all the girls like. Then, if this other vendor pans out, I'll select a color and style and we'll go from there. I haven't heard a word in response. FH is livid with my MOH and has told me repeatedly, "If she gets to start acting like this wedding is all about her, remember you can cut her from the bridal party."

Oh boy. At least our appointment is only two days away...

fizbobunny

07-14-2006, 10:59 AM

Yes you have the final say. I only took my MOH with me to pick out dresses. Once we decided on a style and color together (keeping in mind all my girls have different body types and that most of them are very tan colored), I told the other girls our decision and made an appt to have them try on the dresses altogether while I was there. One bm was a little upset that I had chosen a strapless, but I did choose one with a shawl (she doesn't like bare arms) so was okay once I told her she could where the shawl however she wanted.

Don't try to please everyone. Even with only two attendants and one bride, that is nearly impossible. But you also want to pick colors that compliment their skin and dresses that are made for their body type. Keep in mind how they will look in pictures.

Deidre98

07-14-2006, 11:38 AM

When I was MOH for my MOH, her only requirement was that the dress had to be royal blue and she brought a swatch of the color she wanted when we went looking and no spaghetti straps, which was fine because neither I nor the other BM looks good in that style. Other than that, we had free reign on our dresses. However, it was easy for us because we made a trip out of it for the three of us and tried on a ton of dresses that day and then we made a decision. I think if you had an easy going bridal party, then you could do that but since your MOH is being demanding, just decide on the dress and color and let her know where she needs to get it from.

Andrea

07-14-2006, 11:44 AM

In the end, it is your say. The only wedding ive been in so far (3 more by the end of this year), she took us and told us what SHE liked for styles then we all had to agree on one. Anyways, hunny, I would tell her to suck it up LOL because salmon is actually a gorgeous colour. In my avator yo uwill see a picture. The dress were supposed to be the pale pink from AA but they were actually salmon...and they were absolutely stunning.

From other boards ive been on, it basically says 50 guests = 1 attendant

jrbecca

07-14-2006, 05:12 PM

KathyandJer

07-15-2006, 02:50 PM

Essentially it's your choice, but like others have said, it's nice to have their opinion as well.

In my case, I told the girls the colour and I chose the skirt style and length(we're doing the AA Separates) and they're free to choose whatever top they want (and whatever top suits them!). I want people to be comfortable and not grumbling and groaning about spending all kinds of money on a dress they hate!

I've also told everyone who mumbles 'n groans that they're free to change out of the skirt after dinner :lol: They can put on shorts or capri's or a shorter skirt and be as comfy as they'd like. That seems to let them know that I'm not compromising on certain things, but will on others :)

Angela

07-15-2006, 03:43 PM

My sister (MOH) and I went and picked the dresses out......she picked a few out I hated, and I told her to forget it. The other girls were told what we had chosen and to go order it. There was never an option for them to choose a different color than I already had (red).

Good luck!

jrbecca

07-16-2006, 10:03 AM

Well, my MOH backed out of going dress shopping today with me and my other attendant. I'm starting to think that either a) she doesn't want to be in the wedding, or b) she's just a flake. I am meeting her for breakfast this morning, though, so we'll see how that goes. I'm sure she'll have even more opinions to spout.

I am still going dress shopping with my other attendant at Noon today. We're both looking forward to it--me especially since my PIA MOH won't be there to rain on our parade. I'll let you know how it goes! :)

Lori

07-16-2006, 02:03 PM

I took all my girls shopping and let them choose their favorite. Then I went shopping with my mom and tried on the three of them they likes and my mom and I made a final decision on that. Based on what I think would look the best on all three. My MOH was really bummed because she fell in love with a dress from David's but she was like its okay, its your wedding. I just didn't think the style she picked would be very flattering on everyone. The last thing I want is anyone to be uncomfortable.

Let them all pick out one favorite and then you choose from there. And of course you choose the color! Don't feel bad at all.

Renny

07-16-2006, 02:07 PM

I can't wait to see how it goes.
I am picking my attendants dresses and colors. I know what my MaHO likes and doesn't like, but I wore a horrible dress for her so she can wear what I want her to.
I actually found a regular dress that can be worn again for $55 in coco which will work great for our fall wedding.

*heather*

07-16-2006, 05:51 PM

As long as you don't ask them to spend outside their budget and don't make them look *entirely* hideous, it's really up to you, IMO. Is there another shade of pink or peach that would be a shade to compromise with, rather than the salmon she hates?

jrbecca

07-16-2006, 11:07 PM

Is there another shade of pink or peach that would be a shade to compromise with, rather than the salmon she hates?

My MOH doesn't exactly hate the salmon color I'm looking for, she just thinks we'll have a hard time finding a dress in that color, which may be, but I'm not ready to compromise or settle yet.

I went shopping with my other attendant, Jane, today. It went really well. She was quite a trooper, trying almost every tea-length, strapped dress in her size that David's had available to try on. I took some pictures and posted them in my wedding planning journal (I need to shrink them down a bit though).

We found one dress that was very flattering. My PIA MOH felt it flattering when she tried it on, too. The dress does come in "coral," but the "coral" is more or less orange. Not what I'm looking for. Plus, I just felt that the dresses were a bit too "young." I'd like the dresses to have more of a sophisticated look about them. So, the search continues.

I've contacted the Aria Dress company and requested some fabric swatches, otherwise, I'm thinking about looking at department store dresses, in clothes catalogues, etc. If you have any great ideas/resources, please let me know!

*Ashley*

07-16-2006, 11:35 PM

To give you an idea...

My BM's were told "this is the dress I have chosen for you to wear and it will be platinum"

They never got to try it on before it was delivered

Amen sister.

Mine luckily all love them and the color, but good luck! And salmon is gorgeous!

~LeAna~

07-17-2006, 10:05 AM

I agree that it's your call on the dresses. I'm sure you wouldn't put them in anything that makes them feel uncomfortable. She can pick the dress when she gets married.

jrbecca

07-18-2006, 10:11 AM

I agree that it's your call on the dresses. I'm sure you wouldn't put them in anything that makes them feel uncomfortable. She can pick the dress when she gets married.

Thanks for the support, LeAna! My MOH is actually already married. She tied the knot just about a year ago. Her wedding was unforgettable. When taking pictures with female guests, the groom would grope the women's butts. I'm not sure if she ever found out, but I was so embarrassed for her! And then there were his ex-girlfriends who insisted on giving a toast and wouldn't give up the mic...ah, but no wedding is perfect. :)

christinas2006

07-18-2006, 10:38 AM

To give you an idea...

My BM's were told "this is the dress I have chosen for you to wear and it will be platinum"

They never got to try it on before it was delivered

I said what kari said! Only my MOH got to try them on. I asked her opinion and that was it.

Winter_Bride

07-18-2006, 10:55 AM

I have been a BM in 4 weddings now, plus have gotten married. Here are some of my observations.

Although you will not be able to please everyone, and although it IS your wedding, this is an expense that your bridal party is bearing. BM dresses CAN be expensive, and for some it's a hard expense. In my experience, my favorite dresses are the ones where I at least felt that my opinion was valued. One dress the bride DID say "This is the dress, color and style, go and order it", BUT she had talked with us before about what we were/weren't comfortable in, and what our price range was. The dress is a beautiful color, and although it wouldn't be a style I would choose, it looked good on me, and the price was right.

I have also had a bride do the same thing, but without really talking to us first. The result was a $350 dress (I actually had to dely buying textbooks for university that I NEEDED so that I could buy this dress) that I wore once. I was very uncomfortable, and it was a color that looked HORRIBLE on me (so said even the lady at the store!)

This all being said, your MOH should have come WITH YOU if she thought there would be issues. If you gave her that chance (which you did by inviting her to the appointment) then you've done all you can/should!

What about your other attendant? What does she think about the color and style (saying as she's the one who's actually tried them on)?

jrbecca

07-19-2006, 11:06 AM

What about your other attendant? What does she think about the color and style (saying as she's the one who's actually tried them on)?

My other attendant was fantastic in her attitude and willingness to try on every style. There were certainly some styles she liked more than others and didn't hesitate to voice her opinion (we agreed on just about everything). She even gave me some great advice as to the type of fabric. For example, silk or silk-looking dresses are probably a bit too formal looking for a morning wedding. She likes the color I'm looking for--salmon/coral--and has said that she'd love to wear something in that hue.

Unfortunately, she was a little bit too preoccupied with the sizes that fit her and those that didn't. Historically a very thin woman, she's recently gained quite a bit of weight and was trying in vain to squeeze into the smaller sizes she used to wear (a size 8 when she's really a size 14). I think she looks beautiful just the way she is, and told her so, but I think we can all empathize. Afterall, I remember going wedding dress shopping for the first time and when they put me into a larger size than I was happy with, I felt like I was the world's ugliest and fattest bride-to-be. This isn't the case, however. I'm a dish. :)

KathyandJer

07-19-2006, 11:56 AM

When I went gown shopping...and had the girls try on some BM dresses as well, the lady that was working with us admitted that the sizing is messed up with certain designers! It floored me when I saw my niece in the size she wears regularly and it wouldn't even come CLOSE to doing up at the back! Same with one BM - she was trying on plus-sized tops in MY size, when she's at least 2 sizes smaller!!!

Personally, I think the designers should design the opposite way, so that when we go in and fit in a perfect size 8 - heck, I'd buy the dress just to show off the label (which I know isn't on the ordered gowns, but you get the point) :lol:

Poloke

07-19-2006, 02:01 PM

I've had big problems w/ my MOH...or should i just say PITA? She hates everything I pick out. Originally I was going to give them freedom to pick out what they wanted within guidelines and a certain color, but she picked some provocative looking thing that she's still bent on wearing. Trying to take back control of the situation is not easy, so what I am doing is making an appointment at another shop that carries the gowns I like for them to try on. We'll see how that goes.

rowanmayfairs

07-24-2006, 02:23 PM

I remember when my sister got married almost 3 yrs ago. I got to pick the dress but in the color she wanted. YELLOW was the color she chose. The only dress we could find in that color and budget. I think I looked like a hooker in a cocktail looking dress ;)

My sister is going to my MOH . I sent her links to dresses on ebay I liked to give her examples. There was ONE dress i forgot to send her the link too that i really liked.

A week later she showed me the auction of the dress she liked/wanted .. It was the exact dress I picked out but forgot to send her.

She knew I got to pick the color for the dress and she could suggest dresses she liked, but I got the final vote. Luckily for us, we both found a dress quickly we both love.

At the first dress fitting (we both went at the same time) I was actually a little envious..She looks faboluous in her dress and at her wedding I felt like a giant pineapple or cheap hooker :)

PurpleFlower

07-31-2006, 02:53 PM

I am picking the color and some of the styles I like, Then I am asking for their input about the ones I pick. In the end though I am getting the final say. I want them to be the same. So far the feedback I have gotten has been "you pick and we will wear"

Baconsmom

08-01-2006, 11:56 AM

I guess I'm the odd woman out, here.

I don't think it's fair to dictate what grown women wear unless you're also paying for it. Maybe it's because I only have two minions, or because they both have impeccable taste and know what's appropriate, but they can wear whatever they want as long as it's not green or white - because people really would be confused as to who was the bride if they wore white, and I'm wearing green.

Plus, I have enough to do to plan a wedding. I trust their taste - why stress myself out by adding yet another decision to my plate? I'd much rather concentrate on cake and music than what my perfectly competent best friends decide to wear.

Andrea

08-01-2006, 12:01 PM

bacon...im with your sorta...i mean i will choose the colour and within reason...like no to low cut crap...but other then that i really don't care

*heather*

08-02-2006, 02:52 PM

I agree, Baconsmom, mostly. I don't think you have the right to dictate even if you *are* paying for it. ;) I mean, of course you have veto power, but those girls have to feel comfortable.

Tanyak

08-18-2006, 03:56 PM

Well, this is a little late, but I've ended up being the BM that bitches about the outfit.:lol: One of my best friends is having a commitment ceremony next year, and I'm in the wedding. When I saw her in June, I asked about dresses and that's when she brings up Hawaiian shirts and shorts/capris. I was like, WTF??? She and her girlfriend are having a beach ceremony. I guess the idea was that the women on her girlfriend's side would wear that stuff (not really the dress type), so her maids could wear it, too. Well, I'm sorry but I'm not about to wear unflattering boy-like clothes to the wedding! We went round and round, and I finally got the girls on her side into simple cotton spaghetti strap dresses. I don't regret my bitching for one moment! LOL

jrbecca

08-18-2006, 05:55 PM

angie

08-18-2006, 09:34 PM

Before my BMs tried on the dress, I went to the bridal shop and pulled out about 6 dresses I liked. I had my BMs come in the next day and try them on. I wanted them to be comfortable in the dress. I wanted them comfortable with the price of the dress. I got real lucky. Their favorite was my favorite. I didn't even tell them which one I liked best. No one disagreed. If someone did disagree, we would have to compromise on something. Ultimately the bride has the last say, but I think it's a good idea to be considerate of their budget and what looks best on everyone.

Trinia

08-20-2006, 01:01 PM

I chose the color & styles of my BM dresses without any input from them at all.
I have also decided what I would like their hair to be styled like.

With that said, I dont think it is unresonable at all just as long as the bride takes into account if the style of the dress will still look flattering on the BM's.

Beth

08-23-2006, 02:58 AM

I ended up picking out the BM dresses because the dresses we had all picked were discontinued. 2 of the 3 BMs lived out of state and I had to order them THAT DAY in order to get them in time for the wedding (nothing like being a procrastinator)! It was very similar to what we had originally wanted, and the color was the same, so there were no complaints.

I agree with Trin in that there is nothing wrong with the bride picking the dress as long as she is considerate to her BMs body types as well as feelings.

**Beth**

Theresa

08-23-2006, 11:31 AM

I think you definitely have the final say - however, I know how uncomfortable I'd be in a dress that fit me really poorly, or was a God awful color - so I asked all of my girls to give me feedback on colors they hated and styles they felt uncomfortable in.

All of my BM were long-distance, so when I found a dress or two that I liked, I had at least 1 of them go out and try it on somewhere and give me feedback. I'm glad I did that because some of the dresses that I thought would be great fit really poorly. I finally found a dress that I liked, that would fit all of them well, and could easily be altered for my MOH who would be 7 months pregnant at my wedding. I think it was worth the extra trouble to have girls who were comfortable and happy with their dresses!

Poloke

08-23-2006, 11:34 AM

Another month gone by and I still can't get the girls to even go try on gowns. what should I do? I've tried setting a date to go dress shopping and they both bow out & say they are way too busy.
I even asked them to do it after a bridal shower we all attended in july this year and they said they were busy. But after the shower we all ended up at mom's kitchen table shootin' the breeze for 2 hours. All I could think in my head was "we could be trying dresses on like I asked of you", but i didn't open my mouth. To complicate it worse, they are John's sisters, so i have to tread lightly so as not to cause a problem w/ the family & so I'm not deemed "Bridezilla".
They have both been informed that gown shopping has to be done before the end of the year, because of the time it takes for the gowns to come in and alterations, etc.

Theresa

08-23-2006, 11:41 AM

Wow, if I were you, I'd set maybe two more possible dates for dress shopping with the girls. Let them know ahead of time that if both dates flop, you're just going to pick the dress yourself. You pick, they wear - no bitching. If they can't show up to help shop for the dress, then I don't think you need to worry about being a bridezilla by picking it yourself...

mariets

08-27-2006, 07:46 PM

Here in the UK the bride pays for the BM dresses and their jewellery. They pay for their own hair and make up (usually).

Even then, most girls will take their BM's opinions into consideration when it comes to style and colour...

SmilingHoney

08-29-2006, 11:53 AM

Originally, I told the girls that they could wear what they wanted in a deep red color.

But they told me "no" that they needed to be in uniformed dresses to match the formality of the wedding :lol: My girls know best. That's why I chose them.

So they set a date that all 3 could show up to try on dresses. Thankfully, they all quickly chose one style that they liked and that was flattering for each one.

However, I'm thinking there is more to your MOH's behavior than just the dresses. I'm assuming since she is your MOH that ya'll are close. But she's doing a lot of things to be disagreeable. I don't want to "rock the boat" but it just seems like she's not being helpful at all and there's some underlying reason for that.

Maria 05

08-29-2006, 12:09 PM

Generally OI *itches its my day and if I want you in Lemon and orange thats what you will wear and if you dont like it I will take the hammer to you doesnt really go down to well
While you do have the final say you can make the BMs life a little easier with
taking in to consideration the amount they can afford to spend on a dress although if a BM for finiancial reasons cannot afford to she should let you know and if necessary step down
What I did was I was not 100 % sure what I wanted the BMs in. SO I took them dress shopping and both went for red so I chose a burgundy in the style they had picked out that went hung beside my dress looked amazing

mariets

12-04-2006, 06:46 PM

In the UK the bride pays for the dresses and the jewellery, but the girls still have an input into what they wear...

*Kim*

01-19-2007, 01:48 PM

when i got married i told my 3 attendants that the dress color was to be black and that i didnt really want full length gowns on them, but that they could pick out the dress that they wanted to wear. i think they all went into their closet and found their little black dress and wore it. they looked fabulous and they all felt comfortable.

if i decide to get married again, i think i may only have 1 attendant and her and i will go shopping together and decide on a style that looks best on her but that I LOVE. if the style looks great on her but i dont like it, im sorry. that is the joy of being the bride, you have ultimate veto power.

if your MAOH isnt wanting to wear the dress that you have picked out, then im sorry to say, but take her out of the wedding party. if she was a good friend, then she would suck it up for one day and wear whatever damn dress you chose.

harleyjean

01-30-2007, 02:43 PM

My bridal party is made up of a variety of body types -- my MOH is the heaviest, then it goes to slightly overweight, curvy, slender and finally stick thin. The thinner girls were sending me pictures of clingy, strappy dresses that I knew my MOH would not feel comfortable in. So I took my MOH dress shopping first and had her pick out three styles that she felt most comfortable in, and then allowed the other 5 BMs to only try on those dresses. Luckily they all agreed on the first dress (which also happened to be my personal favorite) and loved the color (David's Bridal "Apple"), so I lucked out!!

~Melissa :)

Winter_Bride

01-30-2007, 03:26 PM

Melissa, thank you! On behalf of overweight BMs everywhere, thank you! That was a really great idea to let her go shopping first and pick out something she was comfortable in!

MsJessica07

01-30-2007, 03:31 PM

I agree...I've watched videos or seen pictures where the bride obviously took the extremely skinny one with them to shop, because she's the only one that looks good in the dress. It's an really great way to choose dresses.

jillian

01-30-2007, 07:09 PM

I didn't show it to all my girls prior to them going to get sized. One BM was really worried and told me that she didn't trust my taste. Hello I was the only one who wanted the other dress for her wedding which she later said she wish she went with!! Obviously I have good taste. Anyway she likes what I picked out.

02-04-2007, 07:26 PM

:computer:

I think the best case would be to pick the color of your choosing, and a few alternate styles that you like base it on your bridesmaids body types what they would feel comfortable wearing. Your always going to get negatives no matter what you do, but it should be less if you take into consideration their issues with the way they feel in the dress, but I would also opt for a majority rule, if the girl really looks good in the dress and is just being a brat then thats where I would draw the line, I would however try and get all of them to go at the same time. It is a headache, but who needs unhappy BM's making you unhappy.
:wavey:

pricelessredhead

02-14-2007, 11:22 PM

You have the final say! You're the bride, you asked them to be in the wedding, and they accepted, so they should know they relinquished control over their attire for the day. They'll live. ;)

That said, I went shopping with my BMs and we all picked out a dress together. It was easy for us, though, since I only had 2 and they both had very similar body types that are easy to flatter.

One wedding I was a BM in I didn't see the dress until she told us all to order it. It wasn't really a big deal. I did feel bad for one of the BMs, though, because she was a larger girl and the dress wasn't really flattering on her. :( The bride had 8 BMs and she wanted us all to be in the same dress, but with so many different body types, that's difficult to swallow.

jillian

02-15-2007, 07:59 AM

All my BMs love the dress I picked out. I asked them what they liked/disliked in BM dresses.

Mrs. Bebe

03-17-2007, 02:21 AM

so i have much more experience as a BM than as a bride (3 times a MH, and 6 times a BM), and I'm afraid I have to disagree with the common opinion here (though this is just for me, everyone is free to feel however they want)...I'm not trying to be controversial- just trying to present a different perspective.

I believe that if you are asking your BMs to purchase the dress, it has to be a dress that they are comfortable in. This includes both color and style. Some women (myself included) are incredibly sensitive about their bodies and about how certain colors make them look. It is important that your BMs, who are (in essence) give you a beautiful gift by being in your wedding party to begin with, feel comfortable in what you are asking them to wear. Remember, they will also be in pictures and have the some (not all, but some) of the crowds focus directly on them.

That being said, of course you need your wedding to be YOUR wedding...but remember that your wedding impacts those who are involved in it. I think it is tremendously important to ascertain exactly "WHY" someone doesn't like the color or the style of the dress that you have chosen. It is important to respect that your loved ones need to feel respected as well...

I think an acceptable compromise is that if your MOH or your BM feel strongly opposed to the dress you have chosen, you should offer to purchase it for them. While this certainly impacts your budget, it may lessen tensions between you and your loved ones...

Like with all disputes within groups, communication is the key. I would ask your MOH why she felt is was necessary to go without you to check out styles and explain to her why you made your choice. Perhaps you should consider going to David's, just the two of you, to see if you can come up with some ideas together before you go public with the conflict.

mariets

03-17-2007, 10:06 PM

My daughter chose the style and the colour. It's her wedding and she's paying for the dresses ($450 for the MOH and $380 each for the juniors).

In the UK the bride pays for everything and it wasn't until I came on here that I realised that US brides expect their BM's to buy their own outfits!!

Why is that the done thing in the US?

Raychel

03-19-2007, 03:38 AM

My sister was my only attendant, and I didn't plan for her to have a traditional BM dress and I did take her requests to heart since she was already spending so much money to even attend my wedding.

She wanted something that she could wear again, which is a hard thing to find when it comes to a formal type of dress. I busted my ass around the city until I found something for her though that I felt fit the criteria, and it turned out great!

Mariets, I am not sure why it is that way...I've never heard an explanation of why the BMs pay for everything on their own. If I would have had the money I would have paid for my sister's. Well I could have but I chose to pay for her hair instead. For me, since she would own the dress and could wear it again I felt like it was her responsibility to pay. If I would have insisted she wore an expensive dress that had nearly zero chance of being worn again, it might have been difference.

I think that is the reason I paid for her hair, b/c she didn't HAVE to have her hair done but I wanted her to.

jrbecca

03-25-2007, 02:35 PM

April

03-25-2007, 08:52 PM

I'm letting my girls help out with the color of the dress (I'm using pink, but I'm not sure of what shade...)

But otherwise, it's MY day, and it's MY say on the dress!! We're getting them custom designed (I'm not sure who to go to for the designer though...) I have a few designers in mind and MOST of my girls are excited about getting a custom-designed, haute couture dress made JUST FOR THEM... My SISTER however is totally having a hissy fit over the cost! :rolleyes:

The way I see it is if she doesn't want to pay, I have girls who are DYING to be in my BP...

thefuturemrsgoss

11-07-2008, 09:37 AM

I am having 5 attendants and I asked- long or short. That's it. They voted short. So guess what? Short it is, but I'm picking it out. That's the say they have in it. It's MY wedding, sorry, that sounds Bridezilla-ish, but NOTHING about this wedding has been my decision so THAT IS MINE>

Mel

11-18-2008, 02:03 PM

i picked the color at david's bridal and am allowing them to select any dress that is not super low cut in that color. they all have very different tastes and body shapes, so i'd have a hard time finding something that they would all look good and be happy in - wasn't worth it to me.

its a very personal decision. i've been in weddings where we sent the bride our size and a check, where we had group consultation, and where we were given a color.... it is all up to the bride!