Share the history behind wedding traditions!

[*Stacie*]

Do you know of any tradition that we do and the history behind it? Example - the tosing of the garter? Why we have bridesmaids? Etc.

Share them here :)

[*Stacie*]

The Best Man
Many centuries ago, before the women's rights movement, men who had decided upon a wife often had to forcefully take her with him (or kidnap her) if her family did not approve of him. The tradition of a "best man" probably has its origin with the Germanic Goths, when it was customary and preferable for a man to marry a woman from within his own community. When women came into short supply "locally," eligible bachelors would have to seek out and capture a bride from a neighboring community. As you might guess this was not a one-person operation, and so the future bridegroom would be accompanied by a male companion who would help. Our custom of the best man is a throwback to that two-man, strong-armed tactic, for, of course the future groom would select only the best man he knew to come long for such an important task.

The role of the best man evolved. By 200 AD his task was still more than just safeguarding the ring. There remained a real threat that the bride's family would attempt to obtain her return forcibly, so the best man remained at the groom's side throughout the marriage ceremony, alert and well-armed. He continued his duties after the ceremony by standing guard as sentry outside the newlywed's home. Much of this is German folklore, but is not without written documentation and physical artifacts. We have records that indicate that beneath the altars of many churches of early peoples (the Huns, Goths, Visigoths, and Vandals) there lay an arsenal of clubs, knives, and spears. The indication is that these were there to protect the groom from possible attack by the bride's family in an attempt to recapture her.

Traditionally, the bride stands to the left side of the groom. This was much more than meaningless etiquette. Among the Northern European barbarians (a name given to them by the Romans), a groom placed his captured bride to his left to protect her, as he kept his right hand free to use for defense. Also originating from this practice of abduction, which literally swept a bride off her feet, sprang the later symbolic act of carrying the bride across the threshold of her new home. It may well be that even the honeymoon had its origin with this capture scenario. It may well have served as a cooling-off period for the bride's family. It was the groom's hope that when the newlyweds returned from their honeymoon that all would be forgiven.

[KathyandJer]

I was just coming in here to post this great information I just found on this (http://www.wedthemes.com/wedding_traditions.shtml) website and saw this thread - how perfect!

Wedding Customs and Wedding Traditions

© 2000, by Rose Smith

Modern wedding customs and traditions have their origins in the past, many coming from the Middle Ages. The following explanations of these wedding customs will provide you with a better understanding of why we perform certain "rituals" in regards to weddings.

Tie the Knot
In ancient Rome, the bride wore a girdle fastened with many tiny knots. The groom had the pleasure of untying all those knots before he could bed his new wife.

Engagement Rings
The giving of an "engagement" ring was first practiced when the groom "purchased" his bride. By giving a token, such as a ring, he pledged to marry her in return for her dowry and social status, among other things. The tradition of giving a diamond began with the Italians. It was believed that diamonds were created from the "flames of love" and represented everlasting love.

What Kind of Bride?
A January bride will be a prudent housekeeper, and very good tempered.
A February bride will be an affectionate wife, And a tender mother.
A March bride will be a frivolous catterbox, Somewhat given to quarreling.
An April bride will be inconsistent, or forceful, But well-meaning.
A May bride will be handsome, agreeable, And practical.
A June bride will be impetuous, And generous.
A July bride will be handsome, But a trifle quick-tempered.
An August bride will be agreeable, And practical as well.
A September bride will be discreet, affable, And much liked.
An October bride will be pretty, coquettish, Loving but jealous.
A November bride will be liberal and kind, But sometimes cold.
A December bride will be fond of novelty, Entertaining but extravagant.

White Wedding Dress
Up until the 1400's, the bride usually wore her best dress regardless of the color. It was Queen Victoria (1840) who began the present day fashion of wearing white as the wedding dress. It is also considered unlucky for the bride to make her own wedding dress.

Married in White, you have chosen right,
Married in Blue, your love will always be true,
Married in Pearl, you will live in a whirl,
Married in Brown, you will live in town,
Married in Red, you will wish yourself dead,
Married in Yellow, ashamed of your fellow,
Married in Green, ashamed to be seen,
Married in Pink, your spirit will sink,
Married in Grey, you will go far away,
Married in Black, you will wish yourself back.

Something Old, Something New...
Everyone has heard the following rhyme:

Something old, something new
Something borrowed, something blue
And a silver sixpence in your shoe.


Something old signifies the life you had with friends and family previous to the marriage.


Something new signifies your future life with your new mate.


Something borrowed was usually something borrowed from a happy former bride to ensure the current bride's happiness, and which is later returned.


Something blue represents the bride's purity and faithfulness (this comes from the Jewish tradition where the bride wear's blue to represent fidelity).


The silver sixpence in the shoe is to ensure wealth to the couple in their married life (most people now opt to put a penny in their shoe).

Cans Tied To The Bumper
Back in the Middle Ages, it was traditional for people to bang pots, ring cowbells and generally make a lot of discordant noise after the ceremony to ward off evil spirits. In modern history, it became traditional to tie tin cans to the bumper in reflection of this old practice.

Tossing The Garter
It used to be customary for the bride to remove her stocking garter and toss it to the men. However, as the men at that time tended to get rather drunk and rowdy, they would often grow impatient and proceed to remove the garter themselves. As you can imagine, this was not fun for the bride at all and could get quite nasty. Eventually, one bride got the brilliant idea to toss her bridal bouquet to the women instead...and much safer.

Engagement Rings
The giving of an "engagement" ring was first practiced when the groom "purchased" his bride. By giving a token, such as a ring, he pledged to marry her in return for her dowry and social status, among other things. The tradition of giving a diamond began with the Italians. It was believed that diamonds were created from the "flames of love" and represented everlasting love.

Wedding Bands
The ancient Egyptians began the practice of wearing a wedding band. It was a symbol of unending love, since the ring has no beginning and no end. Giving a wedding band of gold represented purity. In medieval England, the practice of wearing the ring on the third finger of the left hand was because of the belief that the veins in the left hand led directly to the heart. By wearing the ring on this finger, the couple were "joined at the heart."

[KathyandJer]

And here's the rest of the article - thankfully it's not ME personally that's long-winded :lol2:

Stag or Bachelor Parties
These rowdy parties were the invention of the Spartan Soldiers. It became customary for the groom to feast with his friends the night before the wedding, often celebrating his last night of freedom by getting severely drunk (not much has changed it seems). In modern times, women have decided they also want their night of fun, so now it is traditional for women to have Stagette or Bachelorette parties as well.

Bridal Shower
The bride's friends would gather together to help prepare the bride for her wedding. Often, they would bring a small gift. It became popular in the 1800's to place these gifts in a parasol and then open the parasol over the bride's head, "showering" her with these gifts.

Another story on this tradition states that a Dutch maiden wished to marry a poor miller's son. Her father did not approve of the match, as it was beneath her station and he refused to provide a dowry. In turn, the bride's friends felt sorry for her, so they gathered together and "showered" her with many gifts so she would have a dowry to start her new home.

The Wedding Veil
In addition to the groom not being allowed to see the bride before the ceremony, the veil was also used to protect the bride from being seen by evil spirits and jealous suitors (the one and the same perhaps?). To this day, it is considered bad luck for the groom to see the bride on her wedding day before the ceremony.

Tying Shoes To The Bumper of a Car
There are several different customs that are referenced to shoes. In ancient Egypt, the bride's father would hand her sandals to the groom, indicating that she now belonged to him.

In medieval England, it became popular for the people to throw their shoes at the bridal couple (why people would think to do this, for whatever the reason, is beyond me). It was considered lucky if the shoes hit the couple or their carriage.

In our modern day society, we just elect to tie the shoes to the bumper, which is a much wiser choice!

Cloudy or Sunny Day
There are several superstitions about how the weather will affect the couple's life on the day of the marriage. Keep in mind, these are just superstitions.

Should the day be cloudy and rainy, it signifies that the marriage will be stormy. Should the day be sunny, the couple will have a bright future. Should it rain in the morning and be sunny in the afternoon, it will bring luck to the couple.

The Day and Month To Wed
Believe it or not, there were also superstitions on the day and month that a couple wed on, as the following 2 rhymes show:

Monday for wealth
Tuesday for health
Wednesday the best day of all
Thursday for losses
Friday for crosses
Saturday for no luck at all

Needless to say, marrying on Friday the 13th was the worst of luck. As for the months:

Married when the year is new, he'll be loving, kind and true.
When February birds do mate, You wed nor dread your fate.
If you wed when March winds blow, joy and sorrow both you'll know.
Marry in April when you can, Joy for Maiden and for Man.
Marry in the month of May, and you'll surely rue the day.
Marry when June roses grow, over land and sea you'll go.
Those who in July do wed, must labour for their daily bred.
Whoever wed in August be, many a change is sure to see
Marry in September's shrine, your living will be rich and fine.
If in October you do marry, love will come but riches tarry.
If you wed in bleak November, only joys will come, remember.
When December snows fall fast, marry and true love will last.

The Wedding Kiss
This dates back to Roman times. The kiss was to seal the marriage legally between the couple and must be witnessed by another person.

The Wedding Banns
The Catholic Church implemented this custom. The announcement of the wedding was given for 3 consecutive Sundays before the wedding, so that if anyone had any objections, they could voice them. In today's society, the Officiate at the wedding simply asks if anyone has any objections "or forever hold thy peace".

Hand Festing
It was a common practice for the bride and groom to hold hands and proclaim their unity to witnesses. The couple could then live for a year and a day as a married couple. After this time period had passed, should the couple wish to part ways, they could with no hard feelings. Should they wish to stay together, a priest was usually called in to perform the marriage rites to make the union legally binding.

The Bridal Party
The friends of the bride and those of the groom, would gather together to offer moral support and help prepare for the wedding. The bridal party would also dress in similar clothes as the couple, so evil spirits would be confused as to whom the bride and groom were.

Bridal Bouquet
A bridal bouquet signified the bride's feelings toward the marriage, by the type of flowers she carried (see Flowers and Their Meanings). It became traditional for the bride to throw the bridal bouquet to the unmarried female guests (see Tossing the Garter above). The superstition is that whoever catches the bouquet will be the next to marry.

Throwing Rice
Rice grows abundantly and quickly, therefore it is a symbol for fertility. Guests would throw rice at the couple to ensure prosperity and fertility.

Wedding Bells
People would bring bells, pots, pans and any other thing that they could bang and make a loud discordant noise with. This was said to drive away the evil spirits who might be lingering near the couple.

Carrying The Bride Over The Threshold
It is said that if the bride stumbles while crossing the threshold to her new home, she will have a bumpy marriage. To avoid this, the groom picks her up and carries her over the threshold, thereby ensuring a happy and prosperous marriage.

The Honeymoon
This relates back to when the groom kidnapped the bride and kept her hidden away from her family. They often drank honeyed mead while in hiding for more than a month (one moon cycle)…hence the origins of the word honeymoon.

Honking of Car Horns
Again, this relates back to when the people of the village banged pots and pans after the ceremony to ward off evil spirits. In modern times, we blow car horns while following the bridal procession to the reception to announce the marriage.

Bride Stands To The Groom's Left
In times past, sometimes a jealous suitor would try to take the bride away from the groom. The groom would hold the bride off to the side with his left hand, leaving his right hand free to grip his sword and fight. To this day, the bride stands to the groom's left while marrying.

[*TanyaJeanne*]

Those are great!

[Kari]

Why We have Bridesmaids:


Why, you wonder, does a bride need to have bridesmaids? Bridesmaids are very important to the welfare of the Bride! If you were to eliminate bridesmaids, then who would confuse the evil spirits? That’s right, it was thought by the Ancient Egyptians that when a couple were to wed, evil spirits would come to ruin the good mood and atmosphere of the event with trickery and black magic. The bridesmaids main function were to dress as extravagant as the bride to confuse the evil spirits

[Kari]

Wedding Rings


The wedding ring is the most ancient of all marriage traditions. Nearly every civilization since the Egyptians has used the wedding ring as a symbol of the marriage agreement. In Egyptian hieroglyphics, the circle represents eternity, and the earliest rings were made of braided grass, hay, leather, bone and ivory. When metals were eventually discovered, the first metal rings were lumpy and awkward. Today, wedding rings can be anything from an inexpensive, plain band to an intricate setting studded with gems.
No matter where a person chooses to wear their wedding ring, the marriage bond is complete once vows are recited. The most common placement for wearing a wedding ring is on the fourth finger of the left hand. This custom began with the Egyptians, who believed that a vein on the left hand was directly connected to the heart. Today, a more practical explanation is that the left hand gets less use - and will be less likely to get damaged - since most people are right-handed.
Despite longstanding traditions, however, wedding rings are not always worn on the left hand. For a time, wealthy Elizabethans wore huge, elaborate wedding rings on their thumbs. In the eighteenth century, Roman Catholics wore them on the right hand. Even today, many European women still follow this tradition.
There are also many superstitions about wedding rings. For example, it is unlucky for the bride-to-be to go shopping for a ring on a Friday due to the bad luck associated with that day. It is equally important that neither the future bride nor groom wear their rings before the wedding ceremony since that would be presumptuous.

[Kari]

Wedding Cakes/Grooms Cakes


Wedding cakes have been a part of marriage ceremonies since medieval times. In Rome, the first wedding cakes were actually loaves of wheat bread. During the ceremony, the bread was broken over the bride?s head as a blessing for long life and many children. Guests often ate the crumbs as a sign of good luck.
Over time, a variant of this custom evolved into the forerunner of the contemporary tiered cake that is widely used today. In medieval England, wedding guests brought small cakes to the ceremony as a gift for the newlyweds. The cakes were stacked in a pile, as high as possible, to make it difficult for the newlyweds to kiss one another over the top. If the bride and groom were able to kiss over the tall stack, it was thought to symbolize a lifetime of prosperity. Eventually, the idea of stacking them neatly and frosting them together was adopted as a more convenient option.
Although wedding cakes were once white inside and out, there are few rules about how they look today. Contemporary cakes can be any color, flavor or shape. Even if a couple prefers a traditional layered wedding cake, there are countless options for decoration.
Saving a portion of the wedding cake is an old tradition that some couples still practice. As a sign of posterity, couples freeze the top portion of their wedding cake, thawing it out on their first anniversary to share with one another. Since normal cakes won't keep this long (and still taste good,) bakers can prepare a special layer that will survive for a year in the freezer.



In the past, the groom's cake was actually called the wedding cake, and what we now think of as the wedding cake was referred to as the bride's cake. Over time, the terminology was reversed, but superstition surrounding the groom?s cake was not lost. According to an old myth, if a single woman sleeps with a piece of the groom's cake under her pillow, she will dream of the man that she will marry.
The first groom's cakes were reserved for guests to take home as a memento of the wedding. For this reason, they were usually made of dark, heavy fruitcake since it is durable and keeps for a long period of time. Contemporary groom's cakes, however, are not bound by old traditions. In fact, the groom's cake is a perfect opportunity to express creativity. Many grooms like to have the cake decorated or shaped into something that reflects one of their hobbies, or something the couple enjoys doing together.

[Kari]

Veils:


Veils were originally worn by unmarried women to show modesty. In early weddings, men bargained for wives with the woman's father. At the wedding ceremony, a bride wore the veil as a symbol of submissiveness and a promise to obey her new husband. Only after the ceremony was the veil lifted to reveal the bride's appearance to the groom. Sometime in the sixteenth century, headdresses with delicate veils became fashionable; lace veils became popular after Queen Victorias wedding in 1840.

[Kari]

Bouquet:


Before the use of flowers in the bridal bouquet, women carried aromatic bunches of garlic, herbs, and grains to drive evil spirits away as they walked down the aisle. Over time, these were replaced with flowers, symbolizing fertility and everlasting love. Specific flowers have special meanings in many cultures. In Hawaii, the bride and groom wear leis; newlyweds in India don floral headdresses.

[Kari]

Wedding Dress

Wedding gowns have not always been elaborate, as many are today. In the eighteenth century, poor brides dressed in simple robes. This symbolized to her future husband that she brought nothing with her into the marriage and would therefore not burden him with any debt. It wasn't until the mid nineteenth century that the all-white wedding dress became fashionable. Up until then a bride simply wore her best dress, regardless of its color. In 1840, Queen Victoria's pure white gown started the trend that many women follow today.

[Michelle]

The word conjugal...


Main Entry: con·ju·gal
Pronunciation: 'kän-ji-g&l also k&n-'jü-
Function: adjective
Etymology: Middle French or Latin; Middle French, from Latin conjugalis, from conjug-, conjux husband, wife, from conjungere to join, unite in marriage
: of or relating to the married state or to married persons and their relations


really, it's from the latin jugum which refers to the yoke that joins the ox together. the word conjugal means literally in latin "together by the yoke".

[*alissa*]

The reason for aisle runners:
They were once used to protect the bride from evil spirits lurking in the floor boards as she walked to her groom.

[*alissa*]

A March bride will be a frivolous catterbox, Somewhat given to quarreling.

I am VERY offended! LOL

[njbride06]

I'm just cleaning out some of my files from wedding planning lists and things and came across this. Thought it would fit well in this post.

10 Wedding Traditions and Their Meanings
. Engagement Rings –– The tradition of an engagement ring as a sign of betrothal dates back to a time when gold rings were used as currency. A man gave a woman a ring to signal that she could be trusted with his property. In the 19th century, diamonds and other gems became more popular as engagement rings. Now the diamond solitaire ring is the most popular choice for engagements.

. Wedding Bands –– Brides and grooms have exchanged rings as a symbol of unity since primitive times. Rings symbolize eternity because they have no beginning and no end. Wedding rings are worn on the third finger of the left hand because that is where the vena amoris, a vein running from the finger directly to the heart, was thought to be. The vena amoris, as it was later discovered, does not exist.

. Bridal Showers –– The custom of throwing a wedding shower for the bride-to-be started in Holland. If a woman’’s father disapproved of the man she wanted to marry, he would refuse to give her a dowry. The people in the village would then band together and ““shower”” the woman with gifts to help her start her new home. Another custom in the 1890s involved hiding presents in an umbrella. When the bride-to-be opened it, she was ““showered”” with gifts.

. Bridesmaids & Groomsmen –– Traditionally, bridesmaids were the siblings and unmarried friends of the bride. They would help her get dressed for her wedding and move all of her belongings to her new home. But more importantly, the bridesmaids and groomsmen had the responsibility of making sure the bride and groom arrived to the ceremony safely and not be befallen by evil spirits or evildoers. That is where the tradition of dressing the same came about, to make the bride and groom indistinguishable from the rest of the bridal party.

. Bouquets –– The bouquet of flowers carried by the bride traditionally symbolizes fertility, life, and growth. Some brides choose flowers based on their meaning. Red roses, for example, mean ““I love you”” and Violets mean ““modesty.”” The first bouquets were not actually flowers, but were herbs. Their strong aroma was thought to ward off evil spirits.

. Wedding Cakes –– The tiered wedding cake we know today originated in Elizabethan times. Small, sweet buns were stacked as a centerpiece by the guests. The bride and groom made a game of trying to kiss over the mound. French chefs in the 17th century began frosting the stacked buns to hold them together.

. Weddings Toasts –– In 16th century France, it was customary for noblemen to ““drink to”” a lady by placing a piece of toast in a cup of wine and passing it around. The last lady to receive the cup got to eat the toast and would then receive the compliments of everyone in the room. This practice formally became known as a ““toast.””

. Wedding Favors –– Favors also can be traced back to Elizabethan times, when it was customary for brides to hand out lace or ribbon to guests as a show of gratitude.

. Throwing of the Garter & Tossing of the Bouquet –– In the 14th century, the bride’’s garter was a well sought-after prize. So much so, that guests would immediately rush the altar following the ceremony. The bride would then take off her garter and throw it to protect herself from getting mobbed Nineteenth-century American brides would throw a small bouquet to each bridesmaid, one of which contained a hidden ring. The bridesmaid to catch the special bouquet was thought to be the next to wed.

Honeymoons –– The ““moon”” in honeymoon refers to ancient beliefs that the moon was a symbol of fickleness, always changing. The ““honey”” in honeymoon refers to mead, or metheglin, a fermented honey drink. The bride and groom consumed this drink for the length of the moon’’s cycle (thirty days) so they could forget about the rest of the world and concentrate on each other. The thought was that things could change in a month’’s time, so the bride and groom spent time getting used to one another on their ““honeymoon.””


I like the honeymoon one!

[Raychel]

"RICE
Your guests throw rice at you because rice symbolizes fertility. Whatever your guest chooses to throw on you can represent that they are showering you with the good things in life. In Asia throwing rice symbolizes a "full pantry".

ENGAGEMENT RINGS
The original purpose for an engagement ring was a sign that a woman was purchased and belonged to the groom-to-be. The first people to use rings in a romantic way were the French. In the sixteenth century they used gimmal rings. These rings are intertwined, but had a little slit in the gold so that during the engagement each person wore one of the rings. On the wedding day the groom would take his ring off and give it to his bride and that was her wedding band (the two rings together).

WEDDING RINGS
The wedding band itself has always symbolized love, right from ancient Egyptian times. The ring is placed on the third finger of the left hand because it's believed that one vein from the finger runs straight to your heart.

WEDDING PARTY
Ancient Romans believed that jealous demons where out to get the married couple. That's why we have bridesmaids and groomsmen, for protection. The wedding party would all dress similar to the wedded couple so that the demons couldn't tell who was getting married.

THRESHOLD
The Romans also carried the bride over the threshold so that the demons couldn't trip her and spoil her day.

HONEYMOON
Brides used to be captured and held hostage until her family called off the search. A friend of the groom had the job of fending off and stalling the bride's family until their escape, that's where the bestman started. The term "honeymoon" comes from the time that followed the capture. The bride and groom would hide for 30 days (one full moon) and drink mead. Mead is made from fermented honey and water, which is still used today to toast the happy couple.

GARTER TOSSING
This is an old British ritual called "flinging the stocking". After the couple was married the guests would rush into the couple's bedroom and take their stocking, and the first guest to throw the stocking and hit either the bride or groom on the nose was the next to wed.

DECORATING THE VEHICLES
The noise from the cans dragging on the ground is meant to chase away evil spirits. Tying shoes to the car comes from an Irish ritual. Way back when, a bride would give the groom one of her slippers. This symbolizes the fact that he would take care of her now and not her father.

VEILS
Veils were not always made of tulle. They used to be made of a heavier cloth so that if any other man was in love with her he wouldn't try to kidnap her on her wedding day, because no one could see who was under the veil.

WHITE
Yes, you're right, it means purity, but the colour also symbolizes celebration.

HANDKERCHIEF
The tears of a bride are good luck and must be caught. Farmers used to think that if a bride cried, there would be rain to water the crops. Also, it is said that if you cry on your wedding day, you'll never have a reason to cry in your marriage.

STEPPING ON THE GLASS
We have heard many different meanings to this one. Here's the origin of why a Jewish groom steps on a wine glass wrapped in cloth. This ritual symbolizes the destruction of The Holy Temple in Jerusalum and that even during a festive ceremony a Jew can never forget all the hardships his ancestors had to bare.

WEDDING CAKE
In early times, a loaf of bread was broken over the bride's head and the guests would scrammble to pick up the crumbs for good luck. Later on it was tradition that the couple kiss over a pail of cup cakes. Thank God none of us have to get cracked in the head with bread. Pieces of wedding cake are packaged and sent home with your guests so that they can bring home a piece of your good fortune. It is said that any single woman who puts a piece of the groom's cake under her pillow will see the face of her future husband in her dreams.

RED SLIPPER
When a red slipper is placed on the roof of a house, it means that a honeymoon is taking place, so stay away!

COLOURS
Married in white, you have it right
Married in blue, your love is true
Married in pink, your fortune will stink
Married in green, you'll never be seen
Married in red, you'll wish you were dead
Married in yellow, ashamed of your fellow
Married in brown, you'll live out of town
Married in gray, you'll live far away
Married in black, you'll wish you were back

REPRESENTATION OF EACH DAY OF THE WEEK
Monday - Health
Tuesday - Wealth
Wednesday - The Best Day
Thursday - Brings Crosses
Friday - Losses
Saturday - No Luck At All "

[Kiera]

Aw, I loved reading these! Even though the months and bride thing is kind of insulting. LOL