HELP! MOB Dress Drama

[harleyjean]

Now, I love my mom dearly, but she is being a bit of a pain when it comes to picking out her dress for my wedding.

My BMs are going to be wearing this dress (in this color):

http://www.davidsbridal.com/images/fashions/full/f06_81123_APPLE.jpg

My mom doesn't want to wear anything that's going to clash with the red of the BMs dresses, so I suggested something neutral, like taupe, champagne or light brown. She keeps shooting down every dress that I email her, telling me that the color is going to wash her out (she's fair skinned, has short dark brown hair and hazel eyes).

I'm running out of ideas! To complicate matters, my FMIL wants to start shopping for HER dress, but is holding off until my mom picks hers, since she wants to give my mom first choice at color and style.

What do I do?? Does anyone have any ideas for MOB dresses that will coordinate nicely with my BM dress?

Thanks!!
~Melissa :)

[Kari]

I understand your frustration, but honestly? It really isn't in your control. You just take care of what you CAN control and let the rest take care of itself. She is a big girl and will find a way to get herself a dress for your wedding. If your FMIL is worried, maybe you can put them in contact with each other so that they can handle it between themselves.

You just worry about being the bride and looking gorgeous yourself. I know it is easier said than done, but you still have 8 months and if you stress out about this stuff now, when you get closer in it will be worse. (experience speaking :lol: )

[Winter_Bride]

I went shopping with my mom, and made her TRY ON a bunch of dresses!! It helped because there were a lot of pictures that we loved but that looked AWFUL on her in the end, and there were pictures we hated that we actually considered when we put them on her.

Is this an option for you?

Otherwise, if you're looking at colors - could you put your mom in a bronze or dark gold? Taupes and neutrals do tend to "blend in" too much with people with fair skin (believe me, I know!) but you could put her in a richer jewel tone? My mom wore copper (it looks darker than it actually was in this pic)
http://im1.shutterfly.com/procserv/47b6d609b3127cce8c193ad16fc000000016100EbuXLZs0Ysa

Another idea is she could wear black? Some people love that idea (it's so versitile and looks good on everyone!) and some don't. I know there are a lot of MOB on here that wore black gowns to their daughter's weddings, and it looked awesome!

[Winter_Bride]

Ok, can I change my vote for Kari's idea? It sounds a lot less stressful!! :lol:

I agree with what she says - your mom knows the color of the BM dresses, and I'm sure will be able to work out something on her own if push comes to shove!

[Kari]

I just hate to see brides stressing out about their mothers outfits. There are SO many other things that we have to worry about in the days leading up to the wedding. To me, it is perfectly okay to NOT worry about that one. :heee:

BTW, Melissa, I LOVE that BM dress. BEAUTIFUL!

[carolinalady67]

My mom has also become my "problem child" when it comes to getting dressed for the wedding. I have tried helping her, my older sister has tried helping her and all she ever says about our dress ideas is, "oh that is pretty" but that is as far as it goes. My FMIL has even picked out her dress already. I knew it wasn't anywhere near the style my mom is looking for so I knew it wouldn't be a problem. I like Kari's suggestion of putting the moms in touch with each other. Maybe it will be a help to each of them.

As for other colors ... are you using any other color in the wedding but the one of the BM dresses? My BM dresses are the apple color from David's but my other color is pink, I tried to get my mom to go with pink but I don't know if she will go with that suggestion or not.

[-->Kat<--]

I was thinking a gold color too

[MemphisMom]

Have your mom take a look at www.nordstroms.com they have a lot of MOB dresses and maybe she will be inspired to order something!

Be sure to also look at the sale section, there are a lot of dresses there that do not pull up in the MOB or Formal sections.

Your mom's coloring would probably be washed out in champagne or taupe so something with a little more color might be more flattering. I don't think the MOB/MOG dresses need to coordinate with the bridesmaids, they just can't clash.

Something in bronze, brown or maybe black might be a good idea.

In fairness to the MOG, I would tell your mom that the MOG is ready to shop for her dress and that she needs to get going or tell the MOG to go ahead and pick her's.

Although the bride should not stress about this issue, it's a big deal to the Moms to look nice and they could probably use a little fashion advice!

[Jaci]

Does your mom want your help on this issue? It sounds like she does. I know my mom wanted me to help choose something. If your mom wants help, then Kari's idea goes out the window, unless you put your foot way down and make her choose.

If the BMs are wearing that color, which is a very nice jewel tone color (I love the dress, by the way!), I suggest finding another jewel tone color, perhaps of purple, or green. My mom wore purple and my BMs wore a burnt orange spice color. Your mom could also wear a burnt orange!

[Andrea]

I think you're mother is a grown woman and she shouldn't have to need your help...unless of course you've told her otherwise...I mean there may be a certain colour you want or something. If thats the case well then I see your predicament. :headscratch: I would think black would look good, however its an august wedding...could get REALLY hot.

[Mandy]

My mom had to stay away from gold and "champagne" and those colors because it really did wash her out. My BMs were in red and white. Why not allow her to stick with jewel tones? It looks great!

http://im1.shutterfly.com/procserv/47b6cc37b3127cce8f8596076ee400000016100AbOWzZu1YtG JA
My BMs wore red and white

http://im1.shutterfly.com/procserv/47b6cc35b3127cce8f9163b61fda00000015100AbOWzZu1YtG JA
Here's what my mom wore: a deep purple pant suit

http://im1.shutterfly.com/procserv/47b6cc37b3127cce8f8516bb6e1800000015100AbOWzZu1YtG JA
My MIL wore a sapphire blue dress

[harleyjean]

Thank you! :) You have all been extremely helpful. I hadn't even considered a darker jewel tone color, or even black. She has suggested copper or brown, but she won't commit (understanably) until she tries them on in person.

I checked out Nordstrom and found quite a few really nice, darker toned dresses that I think (hope!) she'll like. She's asked for my help in finding her a dress, which is why I'm involved, but like everyone has said, I don't want this to stress me out.

I just emailed her the link, so keep your fingers crossed!!

~Melissa :)

[harleyjean]

Update: Well, my mom liked one of the dresses that I sent her! :jump4joy:

http://a1216.g.akamai.net/f/1216/955/6h/images2.nordstrom.com/ImageGallery/store/Product/MediumLarge/11/_5254531.jpg

Now just keep your fingers crossed that she likes it as much in person.

~Melissa :)

[Andrea]

:crossfing:

[MemphisMom]

See there? She just needed a little help!
Bless your heart for doing that, I love the dress you posted.

I have 3 friends who are MOB's and they all needed help with their dresses, they want to look beautiful, coordinate with the bridal party and have the bride be happy with their choice.

Sounds like you can cross this one off your "to do" list!

[carolinalady67]

That is a beautiful dress

[km]

:computer:

It seems to not be the case so much anymore about when the Mothers pick their dresses. I can relate to your Mom though every dress I looked at with my daughter I never liked, color, style, etc. So one day I went off on my own to the very same Bridal Shoppe and there it was, sticking out just a bit, and needless to say I found my dress, my daughter never saw it until a few weeks before the wedding and she said she never would of thought I would pick something like that. She loved it, I loved it~ all was well, oh and the Grooms Mother picked hers when she wanted to as well.
:wavey:

[SueMartin]

glad it all worked out.. well I hope it does.

[Winter_Bride]

I hope so too! :) Glad she at least LIKES the dress in the picture ;) That's a definate start! That way if she doesn't like the actual dress in person, she can say "No, but I do like the color" or "The cut is nice, but I want something like ..." :)