Tipping the officiant

[Raychel]

I have heard some people say you tip the officiant and others say that you don't.

I've heard if you do the usual tip is around $50. Okay pardon me for sounding like a total cheapskate here but that sounds like a lot. Especially since we are going thru the chapel and they have all their packages and stuff and everybody is getting paid anyways. Would I be a horrible person if I tipped less?

I know some chapels actually did require you to pay an officiant gratuity but I can't find anything about that on our chapel's site...should I just ask them if they suggest anything. I hate the whole tipping thing :lol: It is like one of those secret unspoken things that people just expect you to know!

[Angela]

Honestly? I didn't tip our priest. We had to pay almost $300 to use the church and for his fee.....I'm sorry, but for about an hour or two, that's absolutely insane, and I wasn't giving them anymore money than that. They get more money from us when we do go to church anyway :laugh3:

I hated the tipping thing too........I really don't know what you should do or what the proper etiquette is for an officiant. Good luck!

[MemphisMom]

I have never heard of tipping an officiant. the fee for the officiant should be clearly listed in your chapel/church usage agreement and I have heard of $100-300 for their fee alone. Tipping on top of that is unnecessary and seems tacky to me.

If you don't see an officiant fee listed, you need to ask someone so it is clear exactly what is expected.

In a church, the usage fee and ministers fee are usually separate but in your case you just need to ask.

[Jaime]

I guess it depends on whether or not you are married in the church and are already paying for that... our Pastor married us in another location, so there was no fee for her at all.. so my inlaws gave her either $150 or $300, I can't remember which :laugh3:

[Slugsmama]

We have been stressing over this! Our officiant used to be Matts youth pastor , and he lives in a different city now , so he doesnt have a set "price" we are so lost on what to pay/tip whatever it is! :nuts:

[Raychel]

Okay...I've been reading and am just ending up with mixed information.

Some people say you don't tip...that the minister is doing his/her job and it is unnecessary.

Some people say that you don't tip, but your provide a "donation" to the church or whatever...okay we aren't going through a church so this isn't us.

Other's clearly state an officiant fee...ours does not and the officiant is included with the rest of our wedding 'package"

Other's state a mandatory gratuity...again ours does not.

I guess I'll just have to ask the wedding coordinator there.

[MemphisMom]

Sorry about the confusion. I thought that you were talking about a tip and not a fee.

to address your comments:

"minister is doing his job, it's unnecessary"
If the ministers feel is clearly stated, a tip IS unnecessary, if there is no ministers fee, a gratuity would be appreciated.

"make a donation to the church"
if you are using a church and have paid a usage fee that does NOT include a ministers fee, give the minister a gratuity, he'll appreciate it.

"officiants fee clearly stated"
bingo! This is what makes things easier! Pay the fee and you are finished.

"mandatory gratuity"
that is the same thing as a fee, see above.

Does that clear things up at all?
If you pay a fee, no tip on top of that is needed. If you don't pay a fee, give the minister a gratuity.
Your chapel wedding coordinator is the bEST person to ask to get the correct information for your situation.

[Weddingplans]

Our pastor is from out of town, and will be coming to another church (not ours) to marry us...and so we need to give him something for doing that. We will be paying for his hotel stay for 1 or 2 nights (not sure which), but we will also probably give him like $100 or so.

[Dmsangel]

But don't people usually tip the dj? Do you tip the photographer? They have set fees as well.

I'm not saying that I think you should tip the officiant...hell I don't think one should have to tip any of them with what they charge.

[km]

:computer:

I have always heard that there is a fee to reserve the church. I don't think tipping is the thing to do. If there is no charge for the church, officiant etc, a generous donation I think would be appropriate.
:wavey:

[Deidre98]

For our church there is a fee for using the facility and because my mom and I have been members for such a long time, we are going to put in a donation to the church as well.

[MemphisMom]

If you want the minister to receive the donation, do not give it to the church. This will go into the church fund. You can give a check directly to the minister if you want him to get the $$, he will appreciate it, they don't make much!

[Raychel]

A year and a half later...:lol:

When we got to the chapel, one of the coordinators discreetly slipped an envelope to Kiowa for providing a tip to the minister.

We didn't leave anything *heh*

Honestly, we paid them so much money for everything else, it was part of the ministers job to be there to do weddings for the chapel, he got paid regardless that when Kiowa told me he didn't leave anything, I didn't care.