Picking a Date...

[renee]

So, we've narrowed it down... but I'm not 100% sure it's the right thing...

We want to get married when we are able to bring the kids with us (destination wedding). I don't particularly want to get married THIS summer, nor am I sure about NEXT summer (high season, always more expensive), so we thought we'd do it during their Fall vacation from school. Perfect! October 2008! It's still warm in Greece or Croatia so we could still have an outdoor ceremony!

BUT... in the week of their fall vacation is their mum's (Ron's ex) birthday. Is it rude/weird to get married around/on her birthday? I don't want to put the kids in a position where they go with us for us to get married and miss their mum's day and/or take away any birthday significance for her.

What do you all think? Should I just relax and not worry about it and just pick a day in that week to do it?

[nikkiscott]

If you are thinking about getting married on or around this person birthday that is a important part of everyone life, maybe just pick up the phone and let her what you are thinking about doing and see what she says. Then after she lets you know what she thinks, go from there.

[carolinalady67]

What kind of relationship does Ron have with his ex? Are they on good enough terms that he could talk to her about the reasons you are picking that date and see how she feels about it. If it becomes a problem do the kids there get a spring brake?

[renee]

I'm mostly worried about how the kids feel about it, plus a little bit how the Ex feels about her kids being away on/around her birthday. There is no one else really to worry about in this case :)

We have a good relationship with the Ex and I'm sure we could just talk to her about it and see what she thinks... on the one hand I'm ok with that, on the other I feel like, why am I so worried about what she thinks? :lol: It's about MY wedding date, you know? I honestly don't think she'd put up any fuss, but I don't want her to harbour any bad feelings.

It would be so much easier if there weren't other people to worry about, but because we DO have a decent relationship with her, AND I care about what the kids think/feel, I just want to do the right thing.

Not so sure if we should do it during their spring break... I only hadn't thought of it because I am still trying to lose weight and am (vainly) afraid I won't be at my goal weight a year from now :lol: It is an option though I suppose!

[jillian]

I would talk to her before deciding on a definate date. She may like the idea of having a relaxing birthday without the kids.

[Allyson]

I would run it past her. Obviously when it comes down to it, this is your wedding, but at the same time they are her children and I think it'd be pointless to cause tension when there really doesn't need to be any.

[km]

I would ring her up and she how she feels about it,,,I know Birthdays are pretty important around with our family.

[badluckbunny]

i wouldn't have it on the same day as her birthday. my parents got married on my grandfather's birthday, and they haven't heard the end of it for the past thirty years, the sticky sitch of ex-wives not included.

i don't see a problem with having it the same week though. it really helped me through the years when gift shopping. i'd go for my grandfather's birthday, and remember at the last minute to pick up a card for my parents. the same effect can be accomplished if you have the wedding the same week as ex's b-day.

[Jelly Bean]

I think that if you are on good enough terms to talk to her about it that I would find out how she feels about the kids being away that year.

I wouldn't have the wedding on her birthday though because that could have problems later on down the line, weather it be problems with having the kids that day or if something happens and you are no longer on good terms with her then you will be stuck with the reminder that your wedding anniversary is on the same day as her birthday!

[AlmostMrs.Australia!]

I think that unless her birthday is a day that meant something to you and your FH (the date, I mean) then you should not have the wedding on that particular day. There is no reason for it. Having the wedding around the time though, that's definitely a different deal.

If it were me, and if I were able, I'd have the wedding a few days or so after her birthday.

[AlmostMrs.Australia!]

Let us know how it goes and what you decide!

[Winter_Bride]

Any update?