Should we be insulted?

[Jaime]

DH's cousin is getting married on a cruise and all through Christmas dinner she was going on and on about how DH and I just HAD to be there, etc. In fact her exact words were "You two HAVE to come."

Well now we find out that she is not inviting us, or my MIL and FIL, yet she invited BIL? And no, he is not in the wedding :huh:

Also, we did not get invited to their after cruise reception, but MIL and FIL did.

I am wondering if we should be insulted or relieved that we don't have to pay $4000 to go on a cruise?

[carolinalady67]

Is BIL the best man? I wouldn't be insulted about the cruise. She was probably just excited at Christmas and then once she got into the planning decided to cut the guest list.

Now the after cruise reception, that is a little strange. But again maybe for cost reasons they just had to draw the line somewhere. I personally wouldn't choose to draw it at my cousin's but I guess some people might?

[Jaime]

No, BIL is not in the wedding. I don't know, oh well. I didn't want to go anyway, it just stings a bit that BIL was invited and we weren't.

[carolinalady67]

Given BIL is not in the wedding I think I would feel a little hurt too.

[Jaime]

It makes me feel better that MIL and FIL weren't invited either, but they at least get to go to the reception. I can't figure it out, this cousin came 2,000 miles for our wedding, but we didn't get invited to hers.

[Raychel]

That sounds....odd.

When are they getting married? Maybe you can get the lowdown of what is *really* going on soon. I say that b/c it sounds like something is up b/c it seems really odd that she changed everything after insisting you guys had to be there.

I personally wouldn't be offended at this point though.

[Jaime]

I guess I wont worry about it. I didn't want to go anyway.

[Mandy]

:hug: Jamie. I'd be pretty pissed too. You're better than them anyway ;).

[*Ashley*]

I'd be hurt. She shouldn't have been so adamant about it and then not even invite you to the after cruise reception. That's a crummy thing to do, but at least you didn't really want to go!

[Deidre98]

I would be hurt and I know my cousins would be hurt if they weren't invited to my wedding. In fact, as much as I don't like it, we are getting married in a bigger church just to make sure that all the people that are important to us can fit in there and see us get married.

[Christa]

I'd be upset, even if I had no plans on going

[jillian]

I would be upset. What stings more is that she went on about you guys going at Christmas but didn't invite you. But before you get really upset are you 100% sure you aren't invited? Could the invite have been lost?

[laurak83]

Did something happen that she could be upset about? It seems that if you would be paying your own way on the cruise, she wouldn't have a financial reason for needing to cut you out.
Whatever her reasoning was, you deserved an explanation and an apology that her invitation was rescinded. It sounds like you might not be getting one though, so just be the bigger person and be glad you don't have to spend the money. I'd send them a congratulatory card.

[Jaime]

Nope, we hardly talk to them except on holidays, because they live so far away. Inlaws and BIL don't talk to them either. But bride's Mom, from my understanding, told MIL that they decided not to invite them or us, but yet BIL was invited :huh:

I don't know, what a mess! MIL says that she mentioned how they were already going on a cruise the month before and maybe that is why they did not invite them, but us? Who knows! The whole thing is so weird!!

The only thing I can think of is that DH and I could not attend the bride's brother's wedding, but that was because he was not able to get the time off form work. Maybe she is mad about that?

[MemphisMom]

Yes, it's very wierd and very rude...She should never have mentioned the wedding unless her invitation list was final. I would be offended but since you would not go anyway, you will just have to pass this off as very poor manners.

I would send a card. The cost of the stamp would be worth it to me to be sure that they knew...you knew...

[Cindy]

Rude. I agree. :yes:

[SueMartin]

send her a card and spend the $$ on something you really want/need...

[Allyson]

I'd be insulted as well! She definitely should not have been talking about her wedding in front of you if she planned on not inviting you!

It's her loss!

[Jaime]

Yeah, I am not worrying about it. :D

[Jaime]

Who wants an update? :hehe:

Well we got an invitation to this wedding like, two months after everyone else got theirs *don't ask why they mailed their invites out so soon, I have no idea why*.. it was crammed full of registry information, included NO information about the actual cruise that the wedding is taking place on, such as what state the boat leaves from, etc.. the RSVP was not stamped or addressed, they stuck their save the date in there too, and I think they tossed in some more registry info at the last minute to fill it out a bit more :lolroll:

It was very funny. I had a good laugh.

They obviously don't expect us to come, because like I said, where does said cruise leave from? What date does the cruise go? Um, how much is this cruise? When does it get back? Etc, etc, etc.

[Winter_Bride]

:jawdrop:

So basically they had an opening and decided last minute to invite you and DH. Did the invitation have ANY information on it? Because you would think that they would at least list the cruise number, boat, DATE, etc on there!

Oh Jaime! So, are you going? :giggle:

[Jaime]

I know what *day* they are getting married on the boat, but no idea where the boat is going to be when that happens... no cruise number, boat name, nothing.

Uh, no, we wont be attending that wedding :shuffle:

[angie]

The cousin probably got word that you and DH were upset about the no invite and just slapped something together and mailed it to you. I'd be embarrassed to mail off something like they did with barely any info.

When you spoke at Christmas, did you and DH act like you wouldn't go to the wedding? Could that be why you weren't originally sent an invite? It doesn't make it right, but trying to figure out the logic there.

[Jaime]

At Christmas her exact words were "You two HAVE to be there!"

I just smiled and told her it sounded like fun.. it did sound like fun, but something about being stuck on a boat with my BIL didn't appeal to me.. but of course I didn't say that :giggle:

[Winter_Bride]

Yeah, but it would have been a big boat!

I just can't believe there wasn't a website or a phone number or anything for you to call! I'd be so curious! If you were closer to your BIL, I'd ask what his invitation looked like.

[Jaime]

Oh I am close to BIL, I can go to his house and scope out his invite it I want to. We are just close in that "we love each other but we love to :poke: each other even more so much so that DH has pulled over while driving while BIL and I were :girlfight:" kind of way :lolroll:

ETA:

DH: :drive:
Christopher: :blah:
Jaime: :shakefist:
Christopher: :blah:
Jaime: :slap:
DH: *pulls over* :gaah: Do you BOTH want to walk?? :shakefist: DO YOU?
Jaime and Christopher: :hide:

The only person who knew my feelings were hurt was MIL, and she never talks to the MOB because FIL doesn't get along with his sister, and she is the bride's Mom, so I know the couple did not know that I was insulted. So I was shocked when I got the invite.

It doesn't matter in the long run anyhow, because my line of work does not give me any days off.. except when they hired me I told them I was going to a certain MLW person's wedding, so that had to deal with it :evilaugh:

[Winter_Bride]

Ahhh. I understand the relationship with the BIL. I'd just be curious if his was slapped together in such a fasion...

As odd as it sounds, I'm glad you're not able to go anyway? :shrug2: So that way none of this is really even an issue. It's odd, and a little rude, but not an issue!

[Jaime]

When I started the thread it was an issue, but by now it isn't anymore because of my new job.. but I wanted to update everyone because it is pretty funny I think :hehe:

[Winter_Bride]

Oh yeah! Sorry, I didn't mean to :poke: you!

BTW - LOVE this:


DH: :drive:
Christopher: :blah:
Jaime: :shakefist:
Christopher: :blah:
Jaime: :slap:
DH: *pulls over* :gaah: Do you BOTH want to walk?? :shakefist: DO YOU?
Jaime and Christopher: :hide:

[Jaime]

Yeah that was a good day. I have never seen my DH do that before. One minute we are on the highway, the next we are pulled over and he was so mad.. I don't think Chris and I spoke the whole rest of the day :laugh3:

[Winter_Bride]

:rofl: