What are your expectations of the MOB? [Archive]

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*Diane*

07-15-2006, 09:08 PM

I have been a MOB once and will be again, now that Biz has found the right man. Just curious- in the best case scenario, what would you hope your momma would do? In reality, what do you think she will do?

Kari

07-15-2006, 10:56 PM

Mama D, my mama isn't doing anything. I just want her to buy a pretty outfit, show up, cry during the ceremony and smile for the camera. Of course, I have a few years on Biz, don't I? She may want you more involved.

*TanyaJeanne*

07-15-2006, 10:59 PM

My mom has been amazing helping me plan. I live at home still and she has been helping stuffing envelopes, getting things ready for the reception, going out and buying different stuff...I think the best thing is just to ask and I am sure she would be more than happy to have you help her :)

*Diane*

07-15-2006, 11:06 PM

Kari, I don't know that age has much to do with it. She is *soon* 24 and has been living on her own for a while. I made her the same promise I made Kate- I will feed her as many ideas as I can, pay for the wedding (within budget based on guest list), and make as much of her dream wedding come true as I can. That last one... that could be tough. :heee:

More than that, I was hoping for some general answers as to what most brides want from their mothers. I don't ever pretend to be normal but I am curious as to what most brides think their momma will contribute- monetarily, emotionally, conceptually....

*Diane*

07-15-2006, 11:07 PM

Kari

07-15-2006, 11:10 PM

I guess what I meant is since I am a bit older, most of the things that a MOB would contribute aren't so much needed as they would be by, say, an 18 year old. I think the biggest thing you can do is support her decisions and just like you said, allow her to create HER dream wedding.

Too often, Mama's try to take over and make their daughters wedding be what THEY want it to be not what the Bride and Groom want it to be. But you have been around the boards long enough to have read the same threads I have, so I am preachin to the choir!

:)

Deidre98

07-15-2006, 11:17 PM

All I really want from my mom is emotional support and input or ideas when I ask for it and most importantly for her to be honest. We also made a deal that if we have issues with the FIL's and planning, my mom will be the bad guy, not me, since I have to deal with these people and we would rather have the FIL's get mad at my parents versus me and hold something against me.

*TanyaJeanne*

07-15-2006, 11:25 PM

your momma sounds like a sweet loving woman- I wondered where you got it. Now I know. :)

Aww thank you!! *hugs*

carolinalady67

07-15-2006, 11:39 PM

Not much is expected of mine. Chris and I are paying for the wedding ourselves. I am hoping to go home to Iowa for dress shopping this fall with my mom and sisters. That is something I'd really like to experience. I'd like her to have dad to the wedding on time and looking good :) Other then that I'd like her to be supportive, which she is, tell me if I'm doing something totally crazy, which you girls usually set me straight on before I take the idea to mom, and help my younger sister who will be my MOH pick out a nice dress.

Angela

07-16-2006, 07:41 AM

I knew from the get-go I wouldn't get much help from my mom. She gave us some money, which was helpful, and DID pick my garter out. She asks about plans, etc., but other than that isn't involved.

I just want her to behave herself the day of the wedding. No making scenes or causing problems. It's all I want.

KathyandJer

07-16-2006, 06:09 PM

I don't have any expectations for my Mom. I have asked her to walk with me down the aisle (I'm too old to be given away :lol:), and otherwise I'd just like to bounce ideas off of her.

Tricky situation here though because I'm moving shortly before the wedding, she's happy about the wedding but sad about the move so it's a bit of a catch-22.

I tend to do alot of things myself (after talking with Jer) but certainly if my Mom offered to help with some of the tasks, I would love it!

Cindy

07-17-2006, 09:55 AM

My mom has been fabulous. She offers advice when I'm throwing out ideas. When I sat in the living room bawling my eyes out because we postponed, she was supportive and told me it will be fine. I have contemplated asking her to walk down the aisle with me and my brother, but at the same time I'd like him to walk her down by herself. When the time comes for any wedding planning or what needs to be done, she's there.

I'm with Kari. I want her to come in a pretty dress, cry at the ceremony, smile in the pictures and have a good time afterward.

~*Kate*~

07-17-2006, 11:59 AM

I expect you to resuscitate the wedding Nazi. In a good way. Because if there's one thing she and I have in common, it is an inabilty to get things all the way done. ;-)

:bliss:I don't know what that smiley has to do with anything, but I like him.

lmhcmm

07-17-2006, 02:48 PM

I'm with Kari. I want her to come in a pretty dress, cry at the ceremony, smile in the pictures and have a good time afterward.

This is what I want from my mom as well. :) She has been fabulous in the month I've been planning. She came up with the idea for our favors and she added absolutely no one to the guest list. I couldn't ask for a better mother. :happysigh:

*Diane*

07-17-2006, 07:41 PM

MrsAbi

07-17-2006, 11:47 PM

My mom has been beyond amazing about my wedding. I think your responsibility as MOB should to provide her with moments and things that are going to become her sentimental memories of the wedding. What she's going to pass on to her daughter (maybe).

Let me see if I can use examples from my wedding.

Things:
My mom is the closest thing I know to Martha Stewart in real life. She is making my dress and several other things for the wedding. I know that after we eat all the left over favors and I loose our cake server in a move, I'm still going to have what my mom made and that's what I'm going to give to my daughter.

If you aren't crafty, this could simply be passing on family jewlery.

Memories (emotional support): Because I know my mom is a Martha, I hired a day-of coordinator to take over what my mom would handle. That way I can have my mom with me while I'm getting ready. She's helping me host the bridal luncheon. Before the wedding, she has offered her crafting cottage for the bridal shower. She ever went out and bought a "Bridal Bingo" set from the 1940s from an antique store for the shower (showing that she cared about what I want for my wedding and she'd help make it what I invision).

I hope some of that made sense.

Jaci

07-18-2006, 12:09 AM

I really just want her to show up on time! All the rest of the stuff that she is doing is an added benefit.

katieandalex

07-18-2006, 07:34 AM

Seriously, I really had no expectations for my mom. But she has pretty much done all the planning for me. All of the major planning (booking vendors and such) was done when I was living out of town, so she took care of most of that, see has pretty much done everything...and shes even making all of our pumpkin pies for the wedding too! My mom is the greatest!

christinas2006

07-18-2006, 09:55 AM

I wanted my stepmom to give her ideas and that is about it. Her and my dad are paying for it. At some points what she said went and it kind of upset me. My mom has helped so much. She gives me her ideas and tells me what she does not like. My stepmom is trying to be too controling. She wanted to light the unity candle. when I talked to the coordinator she told me that she was not suppose to be escorted down the isle (but, i am doing that because she has played an important part in my life) she also told me that she had not right lighting my unity candle. Also, she wanted my mom to sit behind them.

She does not know that if they want to sit on different pews them my mom would get the front and my dad and stepmom would sit behind her. We have a meeting with the coordinator next friday and that is when she will find out. My dad does not mind sitting with my mom and niether does my mom. It is my stepmom that is trying to control the situation. It will be interesting next friday.

Since day 1 she has told me that everything needs to be done with proper ettiquette. So that is what she is going to get.

rowanmayfairs

07-21-2006, 03:50 PM

My parents are paying for part of our wedding

I am doing all the planning

My mom will do whatever she can to help. Lately its just spend money since its just much easier for me to decide how to do everything myself :)

She does what I need her to do :) and supports me in any way she can :)

*meghan*

07-21-2006, 07:39 PM

I want my mom to have fun, provide support, and not try to pick a fight with my sister :heee:

Naima

08-07-2006, 09:05 PM

I expected her to help choose the BM dresses since my young sisters were BMs. I didn't expect emotional support, and honestly, I expected less input than she wanted to give. Both sets of parents offered to help pay for the wedding, which we thankfully accepted.

Vanessaness

08-31-2006, 11:00 PM

I'm my mom's only daughter, I'm nearly 40 years old and this is going to be my 1st wedding. So do you think she's excited? :lol: Hell yeah! The woman's waited an aweful long time for this!

So what do I expect from my mom? I expect her to have the best day of her life. Ok well maybe her 2nd or 3rd :lol: I dont expect her to work at my wedding. I want her to enjoy herself and be happy. :floating:

She's offered to help with the flowers and setting up the church and all the bouques since she can get flowers at cost because she does all the floral arrenments for our church any way. I dont want her to do any work, yes i've said that before but I want some pics of her helping me into my dress. And smiling adoringly into the camera :) I expect her to be my biggest cheerleader on that day, since after all she's the one who said even before I knew it that Jim was the man who God put into my life to marry. Finally!! :lol:

Oh I also expect her to help me choose my dress, which she did BTW.

I also expect her idea's and suggestions on our wedding plans i.e. decorating, readings, music, flowers, bridesmaid dresses. I dont think I'd put a single restricted.

No wait I take that back. She can't tell me who I must or must not invite and she can't tell me where to go or what to do or not do on my wedding night :hehe: