The Dreaded Coworker Question

[ginny]

Okay, after thinking about this for the past month I still have no idea what I should do with the time of sending out invites coming very soon.

The dreaded how many/which coworkers to invite question.

I would just like to know what you would do if you were in my position because it'll help me a lot! :)

Okay, basically I have been working at my company since the beginning of last December. There are only 16 of us in the company, and I've been on a business trip with them, but besides the occasional business lunches and that one trip, I haven't really spent time outside the office with them. I talk to a few of them during work but only for a for a little bit.

I wouldn't mind inviting them all to the wedding, but the problem is we are already inviting about 130, and looking over my list I'm thinking only about 115 will be able to come, including the wedding party. The thing is I know all of them are either in a relationship or married so that number 16 easily becomes 32 people.

I don't really like the idea of having more than 125 people at the wedding because the reception site can only hold about 130, and I don't want to have to squeeze people in.

There's two people I would definitely invite, my boss (even though we don't talk much I think it would be nice) and the guy I sit next to and talk to all the time when we have a few minutes break or something. But I'm not sure if people would be hurt or something because they weren't invited. Yes, I know they are adults and they should just move on because it's not the end of the world, but I have to work with these people when I come back and I don't want any awkwardness.

What I would like to do is just send out an email to everyone saying "hey I'm getting married here on this day, if you want to come just let me know and send me back your mailing addresses" (in a more formal way of course :)) that way no one will feel left out, but I'm afraid that everyone would say yes and bring a guest.

I've thought about the idea of just not inviting anyone from the office, but they all know I'm getting married in September and a few might wonder why they didn't get invited. Luckily, I haven't told them how big the wedding is, so could I could just say it's close friends and family...but it really isn't.

I'm so confused! :(

So...the options:

Option A: Don't invite any coworkers
Option B: Just invite the boss
Option C: Invite the few that I am kind of close too
Option D: Email the office and tell them they are welcome to come if they can, and if not, don't worry about it
Option E: Quit my job and then I wouldn't have to worry about inviting anyone! haha, just kidding :)

[Kari]

I don't have any words of wisdom for you. That is a tough decision.

I am just glad that I got married 1800 miles away from where I work. :)

[laurak83]

I'd go with C, and ask those co-workers not to spread talk around about your wedding since you can't afford the space to invite everyone. I also wouldn't invite your boss just because you feel obligated to. He/she will then probably feel obligated to go. Unless you are close to people I wouldn't worry. If someone acts like their feelings are hurt, tell them you didn't send them an invitation because you didn't want them to feel obligated to come/send a gift (that's a lot easier than saying "no room since you and I aren't that close"). Second option is A, tell them it's a small wedding and just bring pictures to show people afterwards.

[Noelle]

I teach at a school and got engaged within the first month of teaching there. We put one up in the special ed. dept and one up in the elementary office. I did send one personalized invite to a couple of teachers that I was closer to and did want to come? DOn't know if that'd help or not? Maybe if you feel closer to some of the co-workers send them a personalized invite, and then put a generic one up in a common place at work and ask anyone who's planning to come to RSVP by such and such date?!

[carolinalady67]

Option A: Don't invite any coworkers
Option B: Just invite the boss
Option C: Invite the few that I am kind of close too
Option D: Email the office and tell them they are welcome to come if they can, and if not, don't worry about it
Option E: Quit my job and then I wouldn't have to worry about inviting anyone! haha, just kidding :)

A: if you don't feel close to any of them then go with this one.
B: again, only if you are close to them and not because you feel you have to.
C: I don't like the words "kind of" in this option.
D: NO, don't like this idea at all.
E: would give the option of a longer HM :giggle:

Thinking about this as a guest, I wouldn't want to be invited to someones wedding because they felt the HAD to invite me. Unless you have unlimited funds I think a guest list should be family and close friends who have been and you see continuing to be a part of your life.

[Sk8ermaiden]

I would go A. Unless these are people who you can't imagine *not* being at your wedding, you don't need to invite them.

[SueMartin]

If you dont socialise with them as a couple , then I wouldnt invite them.

[ginny]

Hey everyone thanks for your opinions! :-)
After reading everyones posts and thinking about it, I think it would be best to not invite them and just tell them it was a small wedding if they ask afterwards, and just bring pictures to show them if they want to see.
Thank you! :)

[Andrea]

hmmm well I see you've made a wise decision, thats what I was going to say OR, just invite them to the ceremony

[US_UKlove]

I'm not inviting any of my coworkers. I'm basically explaining it to them as it is a small, family only affair. I've not had one person take exception to that. They still want to throw me something, which is very kind. They're happy I'm getting married - they don't feel like they have to 'see' it happen.