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*alissa*
07-17-2006, 01:21 AM
I am starting the Eating Disorder support thread. Please share your stories with others. It helps so very much to know we aren't alone, and to talk to people that understand!

I will start with mine.

It started in 6th grade. I would have been around 12. I starting gaining alot of weight when I hit puberty. I hit puberty a little early, around 10 I think. I was a self concious girl before then, so the weight gain devestated me. And of course, kids can be cruel. I started skipping breakfast and ate very little at lunch. I would eat a healthy dinner, then go into the bathroom and throw it up. The next year, I skipped breakfast AND lunch, and ate very little dinner. I read that you still retain some food in your body after purging, and I wanted as little as possible staying in me. It progressed worse each year. By the time I was 18, I was starting to exhibit very scary health problems. I would pass out with out warning. My blood pressure is naturally low, and the years my body had starved took it's toll on my already low blood pressure.
I was in a car accident at 19, and they were terrified of giving me any kind of pain killer because it is a depressant, and they were afrid my heart would stop. They gave me low doses, and they were few and far between. I was made by the doctor and my mother to drink 3 ensures a day, and threee slices of toast with peanut butter on them until I gained enough weigh tback to be considered healthy. I was so drugged up, and in pain, and worried I would never be able to walk again, I didn't fight it much.
However, after I was able to walk again, I started starving myself again. With in a month, I had lost 20 pounds. It was soon after I became pg and miscarried. 2 months after that, I was pg again, and I knew I couldn't expect this baby to live if I didn't eat. After he was born, I stopped eating again. It was the only way I knew to lose the baby weight. After a year of starving myself, a strange thing started to happen to me. I couldn't keep anything down. Not even water. My body was rejecting the small amounts of food I did offer it, and I was losing more rapidly witheach passing day. I was passing out again. I lost 10 pounds in one week. I was scared. I went to the doctor, and after 5 months of exams and needless surgeries, the news came back to me. I had Chron's disease. The doc's don't know what exactly causes Chron's, but it may be heredity. I will always wonder if it was my bulemia and anarexia that made me end up the way I am now.
Today, I am fairly healthy. I eat, and try not to think about all the weight I have gained. I like to think of my extra pounds as a safe gaurd now. With my disease, you can lose weight so quickley, that I have lost 15 pounds before even realizing it. So my extraa cushion is a "cushion" of safety to me. If I have a bad flare up, I have extra to lose before becoming grossly underweight.

I hope my story can help someone who needs to hear first hand dangers of ED, and I hope I inspire more ladies to share their stories as well.

*Ashley*
07-18-2006, 04:01 PM
Woo woo! Loved this thread at UW.

I don't have an eating disorder in the physical sense (no ANA or MIA), but I do have diagnosed body dysmorphia. I've never really liked my body but I've gotten help with a trainer recently that has been helping me. I got off the program for a month and I hate how I look, so I'm back on it. I don't think I'll ever love what I see in the mirror, but I sure am going to try!

I just try and eat healthy and work out, but that damn BD is frickin' annoying! I would LOVE to go shopping and think everything looks good!

Christa
07-18-2006, 09:15 PM
I would never say that I had a full-blown ED, but this is my story.

When I was in high school I got sick and lost my weight. I started at about 135 lbs and dropped to 125. I started getting all these comments about how great I looked so I thought, if I look great at 125 I could look even better if I lost even more weight! It got so I was only basically only eating fruits and veggies and in about 6 months I was down to 105 lbs. I hardly had any energy but I thought that I was skinny so I looked really good. That is when my perception of my body changed. My parents would make me eat in front of them I started gaining weight. After 4 years,my weight if up and I really think I'm doing a good job but sometimes I have to force myself to eat because it is easy for me to skip meals.


Kris- your story is really scary. I'm glad you are doing good now :)

~Tala~
07-18-2006, 10:49 PM
Wow, you ladies are so brave to share your stories. I have never had any type of ED...but I still just wanted to show my support, as we all know the problem is bigger than most people think. I participated in ballet, figure skating and gymnastics for a long time (mostly ballet--12 years)....and luckily never developed an ED...however many of my friends did develop one and it was such a scary thing. I wish you ladies all the best in beating any disorders and I will be checking in!

*alissa*
07-19-2006, 12:38 AM
Ashley! I was wondering when you would post here! ((((hugs))) Remember, hon, you are seeing your self differantly then how you really are, so try not to be hard on yourself, okay?

Christa, thank you for sharing, hang in there, it sounds like you are on the righ ttrack.

Mrs.Levy, thanks for your support, it really is greatly appriciated.

smiles
07-30-2006, 01:34 AM
I've never had a full blowing eating disorder, but I have always tended to watch carefully what I eat. I grew up always being skinny and eating whatever I wanted. My friend in middle school and early high school used to say I would always think I didn't eat, but then I would eat anything and always stayed thin. By the time senior year of high school hit I was putting on a little weight. I went from 110 lbs. to 130 lbs. in a matter of not much time. Then college started and I continued to eat whatever I wanted and I had to eat cafeteria food so by the end of freshman year of college I was 148. It really didn't bother me much that I wan't stick thin. I started exercising then, and trying to watch what I ate, but the weight didn't seem to come off. Finally senior year of college I had was dating DH, and I was so busy I started skipping meals. I had quit eating cafeteria food, and suddenly I started loosing a little weight. When I saw myself loosing a little bit of weight I thought I could loose more by skipping meals. I gradually lost that and remained steady by really watching what I ate. When I was so busy with wedding planning. It started again where I was eating a lot less, and would just forget to eat. That's when DH (then FH) began to notice. Plus in that time I was also battling depression and anxiety which hasn't helped. He would make me eat. Now we are married and he still has to make me eat, because there are times that I just don't feel like eating. I'm down to 120lbs. now. I really have to make an effort to eat, but I'm beging to feel happy being stable at my current weight. I used to always here of people with eating disorders and say it could never happen to me or those people with eating disorders are the ones in the hospital and weigh 70 lbs. There are people with eating disorders all around us, it's really a serious issue.

*Ashley*
09-26-2006, 05:00 PM
Ashley! I was wondering when you would post here! ((((hugs))) Remember, hon, you are seeing your self differently then how you really are, so try not to be hard on yourself, okay?

Christa, thank you for sharing, hang in there, it sounds like you are on the righ ttrack.

Mrs.Levy, thanks for your support, it really is greatly appriciated.

Sorry I didn't reply to this sooner!

Anyhow, I was doing well and feeling good about my body there for a while but I'm in a funk. I haven't been obsessing over my weight, per se, but my eyes do NOT like what I see in the mirror. I've gained weight and I'm finally back into working out like I should be so I can get rid of this ridiculousness of feeling bad about myself. Thanks though girly, I'm trying not to be hard on myself but right now it's unavoidable.

*alissa*
09-26-2006, 05:34 PM
Beilieve me I know it is easier said then done......
Kris tells me that DAILY. I hope you can get out of this "funk" . And for what it is worth, I think you are absolutley adorable!

*Ashley*
10-03-2006, 11:13 PM
Right back at you girl!

*alissa*
10-04-2006, 11:44 AM
Aw, thanks! :)

*Ashley*
10-05-2006, 02:02 PM
Good news for me, my pants are fitting MUCH better. I brought my scale down to Michael's apartment, which I didn't think I should do, but it's been good because I sort of just ignore it and I'm trying to just go by how my clothes are fitting and nice things Michael says. My back is getting stronger again and I'm slowly getting back into the groove I was before. I'm trying not to beat myself up about not going to work out this morning, but I was SO tired. I'm going to go tonight though because I know if I don't I'll be pissed off at myself and I refuse to get discouraged because I'm starting to feel good about myself!