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View Full Version : Long Bridesmaidzilla Vent


Sk8ermaiden
08-28-2007, 10:23 PM
I am just so frustrated. My good friend is driving me crazy.

I asked her to be a bridesmaid and I don't regret that. She is a very good friend. I will however, refer to her as BMZ (bridesmaidzilla).

We went dress shopping (me, and the three girls). We have an appointment at David's, but we go by AA to kill time. We then go to David's. I say, "Please just pick out anything in apple that is tea length or can be hemmed to tea length." My sister finds a great dress she loves, my other friend finds a great dress she loves. BMZ tries on approximately three things, walks out of the dressing room, shakes her head, and just flatly says, "No."
"What?"
"No, I want the one at Alfred Angelo."
"Are you sure you can't find one here? Have you seen everything?"
"They don't have anything; I want the one at Alfred Angelo."

So, me not wanting to be have a smackdown with my friend over this, and my other two girls being super cool and laid back (though quietly outraged for me - did I mention that I was buying all three dresses?), we head back to AA.

I understand that she has a large chest and is uncomfortable in many dresses. I, in fact, have the exact same size chest, so I REALLY get it. If she had pulled me aside and said she was discouraged and frustrated, and could we try this another day, or maybe even go back to AA, I would have felt a lot better about it. They have dresses at David's that are almost IDENTICAL. I was just upset that she felt so entitled to what I was going to buy her for my wedding when I gave them such loose guidelines to begin with.

Chris and I paid for dresses, the hair and makeup, and they can just wear red shoes and whatever jewelry. We didn't want it to cost them anything to be in the wedding.

We did want them to have really nice gifts as a thank you. It was really important to us. Everyone else has been really great and I love buying them things that they really want might not be able to buy themselves.

Except BMZ. She tells me what she wants, and then when I am asking her logistics questions, she's all, "Well, I really would prefer one that's this way," and "Why don't you just buy this one at Home Depot?" "This one has 680 sq. inches of grilling space."

She's just being so picky and ungrateful that she is sucking all the fun out of buying her anything and I just want to write her an effing check so she can buy whatever the hell she wants. I put a lot of thought into which one I would get her considering her situation and living space and likelihood of moving again soon...It hurts my feelings.

I feel like we've bent over backwards to make things good for our whole bridal party, and she just takes advantage when everyone else has been happy and grateful.

I don't need advice really (unless you've got some). I just wanted to vent. I am really down about this because I was having so much fun buying everyone's presents. :sigh:

Deidre98
08-28-2007, 10:42 PM
:hug:

Weddingplans
08-28-2007, 10:59 PM
that's tough...I'm sorry you have an inconsiderate, and controlling BM.

:hugsmile2:

MsJessica07
08-28-2007, 10:59 PM
:hug: I'm sorry about that, it's really hard when people suck the fun out of stuff. You're the bride, you should be having fun with this!!!

Raychel
08-29-2007, 01:23 AM
:hug99: Seems like she is totally taking advantage of you being so generous.

Mimzy
08-29-2007, 02:31 AM
:hug:

jillian
08-29-2007, 08:29 AM
I say get her something really cheesy because she's going to complain anyway.

Sorry your friend is such a pain!

Poloke
08-29-2007, 09:45 AM
Get her what you want...man she is a rude lil BMzilla. Maybe the other BM's need to set her straight.

SOrry you are going thru this, it sounds like you and FH have gone above and beyond the call of duty with your wedding party, not only paying for the attire but also buying them gifts- they are lucky, and she needs to wake up and realize that!

*Ashley*
08-29-2007, 09:49 AM
:hug99: Seems like she is totally taking advantage of you being so generous.

Ditto to what Raychel said.

~*Kate*~
08-29-2007, 10:26 AM
Re. the gifts, maybe she thinks she is being helpful by telling you exactly what she wants? It doesn't make it any less rude or frustrating though. I'm sorry! :hug99:

~LeAna~
08-29-2007, 11:00 AM
I think she's being terribly rude. I'm sorry she's doing this to you.

I would probably say something. Since she's likely to complain no matter what, it would at least make you feel better that you said something.

Sk8ermaiden
08-29-2007, 11:04 AM
I decided that I am just done with caring. I'm going to just send her an AmEx gift card for the amount with a card that says something like,

"I was excited because I thought I had the perfect gift all picked out for you, but apparently not, so I sent this instead. Have fun with it."

I know it is petty and bitchy and snarky, but I really think I am going to anyway.

~LeAna~
08-29-2007, 11:39 AM
I decided that I am just done with caring. I'm going to just send her an AmEx gift card for the amount with a card that says something like,

"I was excited because I thought I had the perfect gift all picked out for you, but apparently not, so I sent this instead. Have fun with it."

I know it is petty and bitchy and snarky, but I really think I am going to anyway.

I don't think it's really that bitchy and if she takes it personally, then you know that's she's feeling guilty for her behavior. All you were trying to do with the gift card is make sure she gets what she wants...

Jen
08-29-2007, 11:40 AM
Wow, I'm sorry she's being so difficult regarding the dresses and gifts!

My best friend is probably going to be engaged in the next few weeks with a wedding following shortly. We've tossed dresses back and forth and even though I may not love the ones that she does, it's HER wedding! I will show up in a garbage bag if she really wants me to!

Trinia
08-29-2007, 12:19 PM
:hug:

Maria 05
08-29-2007, 02:57 PM
Kellie you are a sweet caring person unfortuanately I am probably going to be unpopular with what I say if you are going to be a doormat people are going to walk over you. What you have to do is stand up to her and be firm. As for the gift its a fecking gift...its not obligation to get or recieve and the answer is THANK YOU I would go with the gift anyway and if she complains :hammer2: sorry I have no time for spoilt princesses who try and upstage the bride

nikkiscott
08-29-2007, 04:16 PM
SO sorry that your bm is being a PITA. I can't believe that she is acting like that. What the other must be thinking is beyond me. I hope that you do, do the card thing. Cause then maybe she will get the hint.

Winter_Bride
09-04-2007, 01:16 AM
:smack:

I'm sorry you're going through such difficulties!! :hug99: I'm very pro-BM rights, but that's mostly in cases where they have to buy their own dresses, have their own hair done, etc... You're being SO kind by doing all these things! I'm sorry she doesn't appriciate it!!

If I may be evil for a moment, I hope she is in a bridal party someday where she has to pay $400 for a dress she'll never wear again, in a color she'd NEVER look good in, and in uncomfortable shoes dyed to match. I hope she has to pay for her own prom-hair, and recieve a $10 trinket as a token of gratitude.

Then maybe she'll appriciate all the things you've done for her as a thank-you for being in your bridal party!!

Sk8ermaiden
09-04-2007, 08:25 AM
Erie, I love you. I was actually saying this exact same thing to a friend.

I hope she is in a bridal party and is told, "Buy this dress in this color. Buy these shoes, throw me this many showers and make sure to have your hair and nails done." And then gets a $15 jewelry set she would never have picked out herself to wear on the day of the wedding as her "gift".

Not so much that I want her to have to deal with that and spend that munch money, but just that maybe then she's get that moment of realization of what a B she's been and that it hurt me.

Mimzy
09-06-2007, 01:34 AM
:hug:

Sk8ermaiden
09-11-2007, 10:20 AM
Thanks for all the hugs guys. You know the thing is that even with all of this, I was still glad she was a bridesmaid, because she's such a close friend.

As background, it is her birthday on my wedding day. I asked her several times if that was OK, yadda yadda. (Another friend of mine has a birthday that day too.) I was going to bring them out mini cakes and have everyone sing, etc.

She asks me today what the earliest is that she can leave the reception - she wants to have a birthday party. I tell her after dinner I guess. I don't want to be mean about it because it is her birthday and I'm not going to hold her hostage or anything.

The thing that bugs me is that I paid for her dress, her hair, any other expenses she would have had just so she could come celebrate (worry free) the biggest day of my life with me. I am hurt that I rank so low on her priority list. Now I wish I had not asked her.

Why couldn't she have her party on Sunday? :sigh:

Maria 05
09-11-2007, 10:23 AM
Kellie you are a much nicer person that I am I would have read her the riot act

~*Kate*~
09-11-2007, 11:17 AM
You should tell her that you had planned a cake and all that. She'll feel really bad for being selfish.

*Diane*
09-12-2007, 09:41 PM
There is a part of me that says, "Just let her go if she really wants to go". There is another part of me that says, "Play the guilt card. Tell her about the birthday card and the special dance and the confetti" (okay I might be elaborating). The biggest part of me believes that she will be having such a great time at your wedding that she can't even imagine leaving before the whole party shuts down.

SueMartin
09-12-2007, 10:04 PM
I had my 21st on the day I was MaOH for my best friend.. they actually had a small cake for me.. that nearly made it all worthwhile.