Old Relationship Songs...How to deal?

[JerAndKathy]

Ok, so here's the deal. One of our very close friends, I dated for a while. Now, just to give you an idea, she's going to be one of Kathy's BMs. And her hubby is going a GM for me. Like I said, close friends. But, we had a few songs that were 'ours'.

But their damn good songs...

How to deal with that at the wedding? Especially when they could be appropriate for the first dance?

Kathy and I have talked, and yeah, no biggie...We'd consider it, but don't want to do it and dredge up old feelings with the BM.

Did everyone else just avoid these songs? Or were they 'just songs' and you played 'em anyway? Was the ex at the wedding/reception?

[Sk8ermaiden]

My ex is standing up on my side...the song I always associated with him is "I'll Be" by Edwin McCain. That was one of the first songs that occured to me as a first dance song too...but I do feel it's probably inappropriate, so I let FH pick.

In the general reception, if the dj plays it, he plays it. I may even drag my friend onto the dance floor for a minute; the part about being one of his greatest fans is still true. The only other song I had with someone was "Wish You Were Here" by Incubus, and I doubt that it'll be played - I have no sentimental attachment to that one. He won't be at the wedding, I haven't talked to him in a year or so.

[*heather*]

Were you dating for a long time? Does she still consider the songs in a sentimental way? If it seems like it will be inappropriate, don't use it. If it seems like it might be in bad taste, don't use it. But if its something that you don't think she'd mind, like if it ended in friendship, which it seems it did, I think you'd be okay. She doesn't own the song, after all. But if it's going to make her think of you two getting it on, it might not be right. ;)

[JerAndKathy]

Well, we never did get it on. LoL Was about 8 mos, online. And don't really know how she feels about the song(s)? :dunno: It was kinda akward for quite a while...Long while, actually. We'd talk and whatnot, but was strained. Then we all went camping together (was really the first time I'd SEEN her since) and it was all good, and been great since. :D

We've got enough other choices that we can probably avoid them without feeling like we're forced to. I was just curious how other people with stuff like this. :)

[MrsRea]

I made a do not play list for our DJ. It was all the songs that made me think of any ex's. Yea they were good songs but I didnt want to be thinking of them at my wedding!

[carolinalady67]

It sounds like you have both moved on and if Kathy is okay with it I don't see anything wrong with it. If there was any concern she wasn't over you or moved past the relationship I'd say no. And as long as you and Kathy have talked about it and she is confortable it is just a song you like and not a song that brings up past feelings for you.