Online Dating

[MelBel]

For those of you who met the love of your live online what websites did you use? There's so many out there to pick from and some can get pretty expensive.

I'm always tossing around the idea of trying it but sometimes I think I'm just darn-right to picky!! :( Plus the whole idea is a little scary...

That and I never know what to use as my headline and what exactly I should and shouldn't share about myself. I always find it hard to write about myself.

Anyway...and ideas, tips or pointers feel free to post them here...

:heee:

[~LeAna~]

I've heard good things about Match.com. My coworker met her fiance there and my good friend met her husband there!

[::Amanda::]

I also have a former coworker who met her fiance on Match. E-Harmony is another one but I think you have to pay for it as well.

I met my hubby online, but it wasn't through a dating site. It was on a site called Face The Jury. I don't even know if it's still around or anything. We exchanged a few messages on there then talked on Yahoo messenger then the phone then met in person.

Do you have a MySpace? That is a good way to meet people and get in touch with old friends.

Just remember to never meet someone new IRL alone. Always take a friend. Brian had to come to my house and meet my father before we went anywhere alone. I was only 16 then though. Just ask a friend to go with you to have coffee with him or something for the first time.

[JerAndKathy]

I've always been of the opinion that if you're out there LOOKING FOR LOVE...And trying to find it, you're never going to find it.

I was a member of a general chat site (The Park - not defunct) for several years where I met and started dating a gal who I loved dearly, and still do to this day...We're great friends! Kathy and I met at the same site (in fact, she 'n my ex are really good friends, too)...None of us were LOOKING for love online. We just found it in the circle of friends we had made.

Is it possible to find love in a dating site? Yeah, I s'pose. But why not just join a free chat site, start frequenting a particular room and make some friends? See what happens. :)

[MelBel]

Jer~ I agree...but I just need somewhere to meet new friends... though I guess it seems sad that online is my only option...

[Deidre98]

I met DH in an AOL chatroom.

[JerAndKathy]

Mel:
Not sad at all. Just a matter of where you feel comfortable. The bar scene isn't my gig and, believe it or not...I'm rather self-concious about the wheels...So I don't like meeting people (especially prospective g/f's) in person...I don't like crowds, and have NO social life. Soooo, online was where I felt most at ease, where I could be myself and people would see the COMEDIAN, the joker, and yes...The pervert. :lol: NOT the crip. :lol:

I don't like the dating sites. Too often, they're filled with married guys looking for flings or other bs. Just find a basic chatroom and make some new friends. See what happens. The Pork (http://www.the-pork.com) is nice - but is more 'adult' oriented. There's tons of others out there, tho. :)

[Heather107]

My MOH met her fiance on match.com as well. They have been together since 2004.

[angie]

I met my husband on Match.com.:lotsalove: I have friends who have met and married people from online dating ads. My mom is currently dating someone from Yahoo personals. It works! Yes, you will encounter some strange people online, but there are a lot of good people there too. It's just like anywhere else. You can meet a whack job at work, at a bar, at school or anywhere really. You can also meet wonderful people at those places too. You just have to use good judgement. When you find someone interesting online, exchange emails or IM through the website and not your own email address. When you feel comfortable, talk to them on your cell phone or if you have an unlisted phone # where they can't find your address. If he still checks out good, meet in a public place and go from there!

Good luck!:clover:

[Julie]

I met the guy I'm dating at Match.com. It's going super well and it was honestly a fluke. He wasn't paying for the site and he cryptically put his email address in it, lol. I'm so glad I was able to figure it out, it's going really well.

[MelBel]

Julie~ That's great...your in my Myspace and you guys look so happy and like a great couple!! Good luck!! :D

Thanks everyone for all your imput!! :D

[RDC_girl]

I met Mark online... ICQ I typed in my city and picked him at random because he was online lol

[*alissa*]

It's just like anywhere else. You can meet a whack job at work, at a bar, at school or anywhere really. You can also meet wonderful people at those places too. :

I second this! I went out with a guy I met at work, and he was seriously disturbed. LOL. He began stalking me...and I changed both my home and cell phone numbers....so wierd people are anywhere. But so are really great people.

[MelBel]

Yikes, sounds scary!!

[Renny]

I meet my hubby from a girl I worked with who meet him though yahoo personals and she introduced us online. Weird and long circle but so worth it. ;)

[*Tanya*]

I met my boyfriend on eHarmony, and we've been together for almost eight months. He's totally the one. It is a paid site, but it works. My bf's friend just got engaged to the guy she met on eHarmony.

As for what to include in a profile, just include the stuff that makes you you! If you told me you were 5'5" and had brown hair, that still tells me nothing about what makes Mel the lovely girl we all know her to be! If you told me that you love animals, the Dave Matthews Band, and collect clown figurines, that tells me more about YOU!

I had the same stuff on my dating profiles as I have on my MySpace site, so if you'd like to check mine out, it's here (http://www.myspace.com/tanyamac77).

And yes, I agree that meeting people for the first time can be scary, but it's also fun and exciting! Just think of every date as merely an opportunity to get out of the house, to go out for some good food, and that the person you're with is an added bonus!

I've never taken a friend with me when I've gone on dates with people I've met online. Meeting them in a very public place (a restaurant, cafe or the mall) was always good enough for me. :)

Lastly, I did the online dating thing for a VERY long time before I struck gold, so try to just roll with it, and not put too much pressure on the date and on yourself! :)

[MelBel]

Well, I did a profile on match.com It hasn't been approved yet. I don't know if I'm doing the right thing or not. But it doesn't hurt to look I suppose...

Being completely honest I met a guy online before. Valentine's day 2 years ago(romantic right?!). We become very close. He started calling me everyday. We talked online everyday. I think we both kinda fell in love...perhaps him a little more than me. I even went to see him last September. Problem is...he lives in Texas and I live in PA and neither of us are budging when it comes to moving. He wants me to move there and I'm just not ready to make that comittment and don't know if I'd ever be ready to make that big of a move. Which to me says it's not real love or one of us would be willing. He finally just started dating a girl a couple weeks ago...since that he's still said that he loves me and is disappointed he can't be with me. He stills calls me everyday, we still talk online at night but it's really hurting knowing that he's going to be with someone else now. But I made the choice not to pursue our relationship futher when he wanted to so I have to live with that. Even last night he said it's not to late. But I just can't bring myself to move that far away from my family...especially my grandparents who are in their 80's. He will always have a piece of my heart and is my best friend and it's going to be hard to watch him go through the dating process. I guess I really need something else to occupy my time. I'm such a mess. Especially after he was sending me Youtube videos of songs while we were talking and this was one of them...and I didn't have the heart to ask him if he was sending it to me because he loves ABBA or if he meant it...

Take A Chance On Me"

If you change your mind, I'm the first in line
Honey I'm still free
Take a chance on me
If you need me, let me know, gonna be around
If you've got no place to go, if you're feeling down
If you're all alone when the pretty birds have flown
Honey I'm still free
Take a chance on me
Gonna do my very best and it ain't no lie
If you put me to the test, if you let me try

Take a chance on me
(That's all I ask of you honey)
Take a chance on me

We can go dancing, we can go walking, as long as we're together
Listen to some music, maybe just talking, get to know you better
'Cos you know I've got
So much that I wanna do, when I dream I'm alone with you
It's magic
You want me to leave it there, afraid of a love affair
But I think you know
That I can't let go

If you change your mind, I'm the first in line
Honey I'm still free
Take a chance on me
If you need me, let me know, gonna be around
If you've got no place to go, if you're feeling down
If you're all alone when the pretty birds have flown
Honey I'm still free
Take a chance on me
Gonna do my very best and it ain't no lie
If you put me to the test, if you let me try

[MelBel]

Tanya~ Thanks!! Oh and how did you know I collect clown figurines??!! :P Just kidding...

Grrrr... back to work now...

[angie]

He was definitely sending a message to you.

Wow. What a tough situation to be in. LDRs are no walk in the park. I had one for 3 years and he didn't turn out to be the guy I married. It wasn't the LDR that did us in though. I just couldn't deal with his baggage anymore.

Personally, I think you need to work out your feelings with this guy before moving on looking for another. I know neither one of you plans on moving, but there is something there and I think some soul searching is in order. Not only that, the new guy probably won't be too happy with your connection with the Texan. I would take a break and hang out with your girlfriends for now.

:cuddle:

[rowanmayfairs]

Yahoo Personals
Match.com
American singles

I rarely paid for membership. Once or twice a year they would offer a trial membership and I used it.

I met my husband thru Yahoo Personals and my sister met her husband thru a Yahoo Chat room.

[wendy9879]

I met my husband on Match.com.:lotsalove: I have friends who have met and married people from online dating ads. My mom is currently dating someone from Yahoo personals. It works! Yes, you will encounter some strange people online, but there are a lot of good people there too. It's just like anywhere else. You can meet a whack job at work, at a bar, at school or anywhere really. You can also meet wonderful people at those places too. You just have to use good judgement. When you find someone interesting online, exchange emails or IM through the website and not your own email address. When you feel comfortable, talk to them on your cell phone or if you have an unlisted phone # where they can't find your address. If he still checks out good, meet in a public place and go from there!

Good luck!:clover:

:agreesign: I met my DH on udate.com. I had a strict policy that I wouldn't give out my phone number right away. Most times when someone would ask for my number and I wouldn't give it to them, they'd lose interest. When I met DH he was patient and we chatted online every night for hours and hours. We met in person after chatting for 3 months. THEN I gave him my number. :hehe: Within a month of meeting, he moved from Michigan to Louisiana and we moved in together. The rest is history. :D

[blondelildevil]

I actually met my boyfriend on Yahoo. We sent each other a few notes and lost contact and then I found him on myspace and we hit it off. We've been together almost a year now... Feb. 16th!

[KathyandJer]

Well, I did a profile on match.com It hasn't been approved yet. I don't know if I'm doing the right thing or not. But it doesn't hurt to look I suppose...

Being completely honest I met a guy online before. Valentine's day 2 years ago(romantic right?!). We become very close. He started calling me everyday. We talked online everyday. I think we both kinda fell in love...perhaps him a little more than me. I even went to see him last September. Problem is...he lives in Texas and I live in PA and neither of us are budging when it comes to moving. He wants me to move there and I'm just not ready to make that comittment and don't know if I'd ever be ready to make that big of a move. Which to me says it's not real love or one of us would be willing. He finally just started dating a girl a couple weeks ago...since that he's still said that he loves me and is disappointed he can't be with me. He stills calls me everyday, we still talk online at night but it's really hurting knowing that he's going to be with someone else now. But I made the choice not to pursue our relationship futher when he wanted to so I have to live with that. Even last night he said it's not to late. But I just can't bring myself to move that far away from my family...especially my grandparents who are in their 80's. He will always have a piece of my heart and is my best friend and it's going to be hard to watch him go through the dating process. I guess I really need something else to occupy my time. I'm such a mess. Especially after he was sending me Youtube videos of songs while we were talking and this was one of them...and I didn't have the heart to ask him if he was sending it to me because he loves ABBA or if he meant it...

Take A Chance On Me"

...

Definitely sounds like a message to me, but I read alot into music because music is so important to me :D

I agree that if neither of you is willing to make the move, you're not at the right stage in your relationship :yes: Both partners have to make a commitment to a LDR for it to work...and then you have to make that commitment to move if the relationship goes that direction!

I will tell you the same thing I've told two friends (more than that, but two of them listened :lol:) - two friends at two different times were quite upset/depressed because they kept meeting the wrong people. They were looking and just couldn't find their Mr. or Ms. Right. I turned to the first one and told him that he would never find her when he was looking for her. He needed to get out and do things that benefited him, things he enjoyed doing and the minute he stopped looking, she would appear. Within 18 months of that conversation, he had met her and married her ;) Same with another friend - she kept dating "losers" and complained - there was always something wrong with every one of them. Told her the same thing - she needed to stop looking, to get on with her life and he would appear. Sure 'nuff, within a couple of months of not looking, she was introduced to a guy in the same program as her in college but a year ahead of her. They hit it off, and were married less than a year later! Take a breather from looking and Mr. Right will show up when he's least expected ;)

:hug: It's a long road, isn't it? Happiness and true love are worth the wait though :)

[MelBel]

Thanks Kathy!! I am most definintly trying to get out more and do things I enjoy. Your right, I'll probably meet him when lest expected. And probably with the feelings I'm still hanging onto in regards to Richards means now's probably not the best time to meet someone anyway.

Thanks so much everyone for all your imput!! :hug:

[Elizabethlc]

I met my husband on eharmony.com! It worked for me!

[carolinalady67]

Chris and I met in a yahoo chat room. Neither of us were looking for a serious relationship to develope out of chatting. But we just really hit it off. I came out to meet him and knew I'd marry him someday, it just took me seven years to convence him of that :)

[Mel]

i agree with what so many others have said -- when you're not looking is always when the best ones appear...
that said i have a few friends in amazing relationships where they met b/c of myspace... i also have others who met on jdate and are happily married, sometimes the target specific audience helps narrow the field a bit...
and my bro and sil met in a yahoo chat room and developed things from there. at the time my brother was in germany in the army and my sil had insomnia in college, so it was just someone to talk to...

i recall you mentioning your religion being important and as such would like to stress that religious venues are often a great way to meet new ppl, both friends and otherwise... often friends become more or are able to help you meet someone special.

[*Ashley*]

I don't think it's weird to meet people online -- I think that nowadays it's just the same as meeting someone in person, you know? We have this technology, it's just a natural progression of life :)

I say go for it. I've heard great things about match.com and eHarmony. I say go for it. What do you have to lose, you know?

And Jer is 100% correct -- you find it when you're not looking. I had broken up with a boyfriend and was NOT looking at all, then met my DH at a party at his fraternity house. After crushing a bit and getting over it then telling my ex over Thanksgiving that we could talk about our relationship over Christmas break (it was an LDR), DH and I reconnected at my sorority crush party (the only thing sorority was good for, at least for me, LOL) and have been together ever since for the past 7+ years :)

[Bridget]

I've met a couple of guys online. Actually, I was a serial dater for awhile with guys from Yahoo personals!

But nothing ever worked out. The most promising one turned out to be a pathological liar

I am sure there is someone out there for all of us, but finding them ... not so easy.

[DeeGeeBride2Be2009]

I haven't told ANYONE this but FH and I met online. We met on a website called okcupid.com. We spoke online for about 2 weeks and then met. We have been inseparable ever since. We just tell everyone we met at the mall since that's where we met in person for the first time.

[foronceinmylife]

Well we met on myspace. It was total chance. He did a google search for something (he doesn't remember what) and my myspace profile came up as the #1 search. He noticed that I was from his hometown, which was strange and random, so he clicked on the link and when he saw my picture he thought I was hot. So then he added me.

The funny thing is that I rarely add guys I don't know on myspace. Sometimes I would make exceptions if I thought they were attractive but he didn't really have many photos and the ones he did weren't really flattering.. for some reason I added him back. I give these guys like a grace period of a few days to a week.. if they don't contact me first to say he or whatever I delete them. Or if the end up being creeps I delete them. What ended up happening was that I forgot he was on there and he stayed on there for a couple of months until one night I was bored and saw him online and decided to be brave and say hi first.

We sent messages back and forth for a while & then switched to yahoo! messenger. Chatted for a week before we went on our first date. I've actually met lots of guys for dates from myspace and from metting on yahoo! chats. A bunch of jerks so i'm surprised I gave him a chance. It all worked out in the end for me tho cause i'm completely happy I found my soul mate! :)

[luxebudgetbride]

Well we met on myspace. It was total chance. He did a google search for something (he doesn't remember what) and my myspace profile came up as the #1 search. He noticed that I was from his hometown, which was strange and random, so he clicked on the link and when he saw my picture he thought I was hot. So then he added me.

The funny thing is that I rarely add guys I don't know on myspace. Sometimes I would make exceptions if I thought they were attractive but he didn't really have many photos and the ones he did weren't really flattering.. for some reason I added him back. I give these guys like a grace period of a few days to a week.. if they don't contact me first to say he or whatever I delete them. Or if the end up being creeps I delete them. What ended up happening was that I forgot he was on there and he stayed on there for a couple of months until one night I was bored and saw him online and decided to be brave and say hi first.

We sent messages back and forth for a while & then switched to yahoo! messenger. Chatted for a week before we went on our first date. I've actually met lots of guys for dates from myspace and from metting on yahoo! chats. A bunch of jerks so i'm surprised I gave him a chance. It all worked out in the end for me tho cause i'm completely happy I found my soul mate! :)
omg Amanda! I didn't know you were on here! :D

I met my boyfriend on Match. It's a strange story how I ended up on the site in the first place. Anyway, it was worth it. He found me.

The ironic thing about online dating is that it's not much different from real life dating, except you get to know all the important stuff up front - and that's a very huge plus. Kids, no kids. Divorced, widowed. Age. Likes dogs. Goes to church, aethiest. Etc. I honestly don't know how people connected before this. Maybe this was God's answer to overpopulation, haha.

[rowanmayfairs]

I already said I met my hubby thru Yahoo..

I wanted to take a break from dating when he contacted me..I almost turned him away cause Yahoo Maps said he was 3 hrs away. (actually 1 1/2hrs).

He lived in Kansas and I lived in Oklahoma but luckily 1 1/2hrs is pretty reasonable.

I stopped giving my # out cause guys never called .. He gave me his # first :) We hit it out.. Dated from July 2005, he moved here Dec 05. Married 9 months later, baby girl came 9 months after the wedding.

I live in a small town of 300 so meeting people HERE .. I knew who lived here.. I didn't want to date most of the locals. I did date a few but those didn't work out.

The only bar in town (at the time) was very rough so I wasn't about to go there.. Only druggies and drunks hung out there. No clubs ..

I love the internet and found technology great.. could reach out and meet a variety of people online :)

I met my best friend online.. her mom found my webpage (long gone) and thought me and her daughter would have alot in common. They had moved here from California and her daughter really didn't know anyone here yet. We have been friends for 10yrs.