Virgin Bride Thread!

[*TanyaJeanne*]

Welcome ladies! Can't wait to chat with all of you! :)

[smiles]

I'm so happy this thread is here. I miss all my fellow VBs on UW. Can't wait to get back into chatting with all of you again. Lets start with introductions.

Name and age: Stephanie, 24
Wedding Date: October 8, 2005
Why you are waiting: I waited because I was taught that waiting was the right thing to do.
Anything else: I love to support my fellow VBs. You can always ask for support and advice.

[*TanyaJeanne*]

Name and Age: Tanya, 22
Wedding Date: 9/2/06
Why are you waiting: I am waiting because it's what I was taught when I was growing up and my religious beliefs as well. It was a strong Value I wanted to keep. I am very proud of myself for waiting!
Anything Else: I can't wait to talk with everyone in this same group :)

[*Ashley*]

My question to y'all -- were/are your DH/FH's Virgin's too when you married?

And I think it's really cool that y'all are/were by the way. You need to get Canada Stacie in here, she was part of the old thread (where is she?!).

[smiles]

My DH was a virgin when we married. He was 27 when we married and I was the first girl he seriously dated and his first kiss.

[*Ashley*]

My DH was a virgin when we married. He was 27 when we married and I was the first girl he seriously dated and his first kiss.

First kiss?! That's so sweet :)

[*TanyaJeanne*]

Stacie is coming soon I hope! She was going to get *approval* from Gina or Lacie to get in here soon! :)

[*Stacie*]

I'm here!! I'm here!!


Name and age: Stacie, 22
Wedding Date: August 18 2006
Why you are waiting: I am waiting because i was also taught that was the right thing to do and also for religious and moral beliefs. PLUS! I will be the first person in my family in about 3 or 4 generations to be a virgin on their wedding night and also not already be pregnant when I say my vows! This is a huge accomplishment!
Anything else: I like this thread for the support I get from it.

[*Stacie*]

My question to y'all -- were/are your DH/FH's Virgin's too when you married?

And I think it's really cool that y'all are/were by the way. You need to get Canada Stacie in here, she was part of the old thread (where is she?!).


hi Ashley!! :) I am here now!

My FH is not a virgin. He has however been wonderful about my decision to wait! We have been together for 2 years this month and since I told him of my decision he has respected it completely! I don't mind that he has had other partners before me (not that there are many) he is a wonderful man for having that self control! :)

[*TanyaJeanne*]

Hey Rebecca! :)

[*Stacie*]

Hi rebecca!! Welcome to the VB thread!

[smiles]

I'm so glad to see you here Rebecca.

[smiles]

It's been quiet over here!!!

QOD: Are you going to have sex on the wedding night?

We were so tired after the wedding, but we did have sex on the wedding night. It didn't last long and it wasn't the greatest, but we did it because I knew my husband wanted to.

[*TanyaJeanne*]

QOD: Are you going to have sex on the wedding night?

Right now I am thinking that we wont. It is going to be a LONG day for us. We will both be getting up at 6-7am and won't be getting back to the hotel until 1am'ish...(is that a word?) :)

[*Stacie*]

QOD: Are you going to have sex on the wedding night?

OOOOOOOOH YA!! hahaha... not having sex on the wedding night is not even an option for us. Last night I suggested not kissing for a week leading up to the wedding and Bryan was like "Absolutely not!!" I was of course kidding, but could you imagine his reaction if I said "let's wait til morning sweetie" He'd laugh in my face. I know it probably won't be the best sex we'll ever have... but I have always dreamt of my wedding night as being romantic and wonderful!

[*Stacie*]

I wish this thread was more popular... I loved it on UW :mecry:

[*TanyaJeanne*]

Let's get it going :)

[*TanyaJeanne*]

:bliss:

[smiles]

Let's get it going. I miss the popularty of it on UW!!!
:dancingbanana2: :woohoo: :pickle: :disco: :ban-split: :firework: :toyhorse: :pinkelephant: :nuts: :juggle:

I don't want to be bored:bored:

[*TanyaJeanne*]

Me Either...so hmmm what should we talk about???

Oo! I know...

:hide: Do you ever get like this when you see the other threads in this area?
I have nothing against any of them...but since I haven't experienced any of it yet...Im like WHOA! lol :hide:

[smiles]

QOD: What is the most temptation you have had waiting for sex until your wedding night?

For DH and I was 10 days before the wedding, and we were living together and snuggling on the couch. We both really got in the mood, and snuggling started going further. Finally he asked me what I wanted to do that night, and I said I'm having fun now. I then asked him what he wanted to do. He said what he wanted to do we only had 10 days until we could do it. Then we started deciding whether we should wait or not. We then realized we had nothing stopping us, except that we had made it so far. In the end we decided to wait and just got up and played a game, because we realized there was way to much temptation snuggling on the couch that night.

[smiles]

Me Either...so hmmm what should we talk about???

Oo! I know...

:hide: Do you ever get like this when you see the other threads in this area?
I have nothing against any of them...but since I haven't experienced any of it yet...Im like WHOA! lol :hide:

Before I was married I really avoided all sex talk of any kind. The only thread in the romance section of UW I would check would be the VB thread. Now that I'm married I'm a lot more open to sex talk and getting new ideas. Every so often someone talks about things a little to extreme for me. I can deal with more than talking about :kiss2:, but when people go to far I feel:faint: Many people give :tmi:, and I'm not that :nosey:

[*Stacie*]

If we are the only 3 that come here that's ok!! I just want to have this thread hoppin'! :ban-split:

QOD: What is the most temptation you have had waiting for sex until your wedding night

There have been a few times where it has been HARD to stop making out. Just last week we had what I would call a "close call". Bryan made sure nothing happened though, and I was aware of how close it came... I felt a little bad the next day, but the bottom line is we didn't do it. I think with it getting so close it can be hard to stop, but at the same time I can see the end in sight!! Before we got engaged it was soooooo hard for me to picture how long we would have to wait because I couldn't see a finish line. I would get so frustrated and have to always go to my Mom for support. But as soon as we got engaged and I KNEW the day we would be doing it, I knew it wasn't that much longer and that if I have waited 22 years I can certainly wait 6 more months. It's just so hard when you love the person so much, it's your natural instinct to want to make love. I think we have put ourselves in a lot of poisitons where it could happen.. but we both know how important it is for us to wait and why would we want to ruin it now. Sorry this is sooooo long!!:lolroll:

[*Stacie*]

Me Either...so hmmm what should we talk about???

Oo! I know...

:hide: Do you ever get like this when you see the other threads in this area?
I have nothing against any of them...but since I haven't experienced any of it yet...Im like WHOA! lol :hide:

For me my Mom has always been sooooo open and honest about sex. I can come to her and ask questions about anything and she will give me the answer straight up. She never wanted it to be a taboo topic because she could never go to her mom and talk openly about it, and she wanted us to have a comfortable enough relationship where we can discuss anything. I am so thankful for that. So if I kind of lurk through the other threads I don't get that embaressed, but there are times I really think that some of the other people give TOO MUCH INFORMATION! I do believe that your sex life should remain somewhat between your husband and yourself. I know I will give some imput on those threads after the wedding, but I will be tasteful in what I do say. Smiles, I have seen your responses in those threads and you are very tactful and respectful of your's and your husbands relationship. You do not go over board and indulge in telling everyone stuff that they just simply don't need to know. I think a funny story about someone calling in the middle of doing the deed, or slipping in shower when you try to get romantic is fine. But telling other girl's where it feels the best is a little TMI and I tend to stay out of those threads. Again, sorry this is soooo long ;)

[saraw04]

Hi girls! I was active on the VB Thread before I was married and then for some reason didn't visit it as much after. I thought since this is a brand new start I would join in again!

Name and Age: Sara, 25
Wedding Date: 6-12-04
Why are you waiting: Both DH and I were virgins. It was mostly for religious reasons plus we just wasn't to save ourselves for the "one"!

I was also DH's first real girlfriend and first kiss!

QOD: Are you going to have sex on the wedding night?

Yes, it was such a great experience! We got to our hotel room and first relaxed in out jacuzzi tub. That was great since my feet were so sore! Our first time was so special.

QOD: What is the most temptation you have had waiting for sex until your wedding night

I don't really think I can come up with a time when we were most tempted. We were pretty good about controlling ourselves, but then again we didn't have that many times to be tempted since we were in a LDR and only got to see each other once a month if we were lucky.

[smiles]

saraw- I was active around the VB thread on the first UW, and I think I remember you from then. I was the same way my DH's first real girlfriend and first kiss. It's great to see you back.

[smiles]

Stacie- It's not to long of a response. I love reading what you have to say.

So many people give TMI in my opinion. Now that I'm married I lurk and sometimes post in those threads. I lurked before I was married just to prepare myself. I'm always careful not to share to much. I don't want others knowing everything about my sex life, some things should be left between me and my husband. It's one thing telling a funny sex story like someone calling, or even giving tips and support. But it's another thing to tell in detail what you did last night, and what was said. The way I think of it as, If I wouldn't tell my friends that I'm not posting it on a message board. I also think would my DH want others to know what I'm telling others.

[*Diane*]

I was not a virgin bride and I have been married a long time but if you don't mind, can I ask you something? Most of you have said you have stayed virgins because it was something you were taught. Does that mean that you stayed virgins because you believed it was something you should do or because you thought others might think badly of you for having sex before marriage?
Why was it important to you?
Did you want or hope that your FH had sexual experience or that he did not?
What are you most afraid of when it comes to sex?
If you had to close your eyes and dream (without embarrassment),what do you imagine sex will be like?

You don't have to answer- I am not asking for nasty reasons. I always envied women who kept themselves... how do I even say this? Women who kept themselves pure? Women who were unsullied? See, it makes it sound like sex is dirty and it is not. Maybe what I mean is I envied women who were so in control of themselves.

[*TanyaJeanne*]

I was not a virgin bride and I have been married a long time but if you don't mind, can I ask you something? Most of you have said you have stayed virgins because it was something you were taught. Does that mean that you stayed virgins because you believed it was something you should do or because you thought others might think badly of you for having sex before marriage?
Why was it important to you?
Did you want or hope that your FH had sexual experience or that he did not?
What are you most afraid of when it comes to sex?
If you had to close your eyes and dream (without embarrassment),what do you imagine sex will be like?

You don't have to answer- I am not asking for nasty reasons. I always envied women who kept themselves... how do I even say this? Women who kept themselves pure? Women who were unsullied? See, it makes it sound like sex is dirty and it is not. Maybe what I mean is I envied women who were so in control of themselves.

For me growing up it was something that I was taught. I do not have a close "talking" relationship with my family about sex...I guess I should say there is no relationship talking about sex ever. We got the sex talk when we were little, but that was the extent of it. So the question about would I think people would think badly of me never crossed my mind because I never really talked to anyone about it.

For me I have been scared growing up to have sex. I didn't want to get pregnant...and this is my opinion and I guess a lot of my friends opinions that girls are becoming more open to sex younger and younger. For instance....my sister whom just turned 14 had a girl in her grade become preggo at 13. I just don't get it I guess...
I think going through middle school and high school I always thought the guy I was dating was "the one" but of course they weren't. I also told them upfront that I was a virgin, and planned on staying like that until marriage. About 90% of them left within the first couple days. So I continued to do this...I learned that if a guy didn't want to be with me because of my choice then oh well, their loss!! right? :heee: So along with that and a lot of my religious beliefs I have stayed the way throughout high school and college. A lot of guys applaud me and I have been called a "prude" more than once too. Which of course hurts my feelings but at the same time, I just ignore their comments.

Growing up I also thought...What an AWESOME gift this would be to give to my husband! I think it is something so special and intimate that I could give.

For the experience question it didn't bother me one way or another. Practice makes perfect right?

I have heard sex isn't great at first, and I am sure it's not. I am very scared that it will be painful, and very scared of a lot.

Ive always imagined sex as making love with your partner and just being so intimate. I guess there isn't really many words to describe what I am thinking or feeling. I guess just...Magical?

Well now that I blabbed....I am done :heee:


ETA: I just want to let you know too for anyone who reads this that I don't judge anyone who decided not to wait.

[*Diane*]

What you just told me is that you valued yourself highly enough that it didn't matter what guys might have thought or said. Do you know how extraordinarily rare that is, Tanya? You are a jewel. I am glad that you see it and from what I have seen of Chris, he knows it too.

Thank you for sharing that with me (and everyone else here). When you said you imagined it to be magical... it is. There may not always be physical satisfaction the first time for you but if you are lucky and loved (which I already know you are), you will feel warm and giving and loving and all of that good stuff is reflected back to you. Maybe making love is the ultimate karma- what you put into it is what you will get back.

[*Tanya*]

Diane, your posts always give me the warm fuzzies. I love what you said about ultimate karma. :floating:

I'd like to second what Diane said earlier: While I myself didn't choose to wait, I have profound respect for those who do.

And T2, Diane is 100% correct. You ARE a jewel. :hug:

[smiles]

I was not a virgin bride and I have been married a long time but if you don't mind, can I ask you something? Most of you have said you have stayed virgins because it was something you were taught. Does that mean that you stayed virgins because you believed it was something you should do or because you thought others might think badly of you for having sex before marriage?
Why was it important to you?
Did you want or hope that your FH had sexual experience or that he did not?
What are you most afraid of when it comes to sex?
If you had to close your eyes and dream (without embarrassment),what do you imagine sex will be like?

You don't have to answer- I am not asking for nasty reasons. I always envied women who kept themselves... how do I even say this? Women who kept themselves pure? Women who were unsullied? See, it makes it sound like sex is dirty and it is not. Maybe what I mean is I envied women who were so in control of themselves.

For me I was taught to stay a virgin. I grew up going to church and getting it instilled in my brain. My parents didn't wait, but they thought it was best to wait and would not force me to wait, but give me support to wait so I would make the right choice. I didn't wait because I was forced to wait, or that was what I was taught. I didn't care what others thought whether I waited or not. I didn't wait just because my parents or church told me to. They just taught me there was an option to wait, since society today seems to push young people into not waiting. If I wanted to not wait I wouldn't have waited. I waited because it was my choice. I didn't want to give myself to just anyone. I wanted to give myself to the man I would marry. I wasn't even worried about waiting, so I wouldn't get pg. It was hard to wait once we were engaged and I knew I was going to marry him, but since I got that far. I wanted the wedding night to be special, and DH supported my decision.

The closer it got the wedding is was hard to wait, but I knew that I had made the decision to wait. Now that I'm married I fulfilled my personal goal to have remained a virgin until married.

I didn't care if my FH was a virgin or not. I knew God would lead me to the right person. I was happy to find out my FH was a virgin, but I didn't specifically go looking for it. It may have been hard knowing my FH was not a virgin if he wasn't, but I didn't have to worry about that because he was. In fact I was his first real girlfriend and first kiss. I just wanted my FH to respect my decision to wait and not push me into having sex. And when I met FH right away he never pushed me into anything I wasn't ready for.

For me I'm married, and supporting those who choose to wait. Before marriage I was most nervous about not knowing what to do. I was surprised though on the wedding night how I was not nervous, because I knew I had waited and it was the next step in our relationship. I choose before marriage not to think what sex would be like just to avoid temptation and not create unrealistic expectations. I educated myself, but didn’t imagine or dream about sex. I knew I would be excited to have sex on the wedding night.

I chose to wait, but I support those who don't wait also. We all have our reasons for making our choices. I always like those who are supportive of my choice to wait. I had so many friends and other people who didn't wait criticize my choice for waiting. I never bothered them about not waiting.

Diane- I appreciate you being so supportive of those who choose

[saraw04]

I was not a virgin bride and I have been married a long time but if you don't mind, can I ask you something? Most of you have said you have stayed virgins because it was something you were taught. Does that mean that you stayed virgins because you believed it was something you should do or because you thought others might think badly of you for having sex before marriage?
Why was it important to you?
Did you want or hope that your FH had sexual experience or that he did not?
What are you most afraid of when it comes to sex?
If you had to close your eyes and dream (without embarrassment),what do you imagine sex will be like?

The other girls gave such great responses! For me the biggest reason I waited was for religious reasons. I attended Catholic schools my entire life so it was probably a lot easier for me than for some others. None of my friends were sexually active so that made it a lot easier. I just always thought it would be so special to share myself with my husband on my wedding night. My parents never really talked to me much about sex so they didn't influence me much.

My FH didn't have to be a virgin but I had always thought how great it would be if he was. I was very happy when I found out DH was a virgin and it made my waiting that much more worth it.

I have never cared about what people thought about me being a virgin. I don't even think that many people know whether I was or wasn't. My friends in college knew and would tease us, but they were also very supportive. I doubt if my parents even know for sure that we were. It was never something we bragged about or discussed with other people. I am not shy about admitting that we were.

DH and I were not scared about having sex. I don't think we had any expections of what it was going to be like. We were just so excited that we were finally able to do it as husband and wife. Our first time did not last long and it has definitely improved, but our wedding night was just awesome and we don't regret anything!

I also support those who don't wait. It is a choice that everyone has to make and whichever they choose for them is fine. It's a very personal decision.

Tanya and Diane - Thanks for being so supportive!

Sara :)

[Cindy]

I applaud all of you that post in here that are VBs. I was a virgin until I was 28, and was (or so I thought) in love with "the German". After dating for 5 years, I realized that he had no intentions of proposing. So, I broke up with him and moved on.

There are definitely times I wished I would have waited.

T2 - you're an absolute jewel. You are 2000% right in that you are giving the most ultimate and precious gift that you can give Chris. Yourself. I am so proud of you for that, and I wish I could turn back the clock.

Are or were any of you nervous about your "first time"?

[smiles]

I was nervous for the wedding night up until the day before the wedding. Mostly because to avoid temptation we tried to avoid the topic of sex with each other. The day of the wedding I was excited for the wedding night, and knew it was going to be special.

[lizaanne]

I'm not a true VB, but my FH and I have chosen to wait till our wedding night to be intimate. It's very important to both of us, we have "been there done that" in other relationships, and we realize now that sex should remain only within a marriage. So that's how we are living that in our own life together.

We have traveled together, he has stayed here, I've stayed there. We have slept in the same bed together, but we can behave ourselves and know our priorities. Doesn't mean it's easy!! But when you know what's important to you, you will work for it. Putting things in order in your life makes choices like this easier to understand and stick to.

66 days and counting!!!! hehehe

~Liza

[smiles]

Lizaanne- That's great that you have enough will power to now wait until you are married. That's great!

QOD: How far is to far?

For us to far was basicly sex and oral sex. Also, for us to resist temptaion we choose to keep away from certain areas all together. We lived together the month leading up to our wedding. We vacationed together, and of course slept in the same bed when we moved in together. So we wouldn't get tempted we wouldn't see each other completely naked or even change in front of each other before marriage. We pretty much before marriage stuck to making out and snuggling.

[*Stacie*]

QOD: How far is too far?

Everyone has their own boundaries and what they consider "too far". For us sexual intercourse is too far.

[lizaanne]

For us - no intimate contact any more than a snuggle or kissing. :)

65 days and counting.....!!!

~Liza

[saraw04]

QOD: How far is too far?

For us it was sexual intercourse. It's definitely a personal decision. We had seen each other naked before we were married.

Sara :)

[*Stacie*]

QOD: How far is too far?

For us it was sexual intercourse. It's definitely a personal decision. We had seen each other naked before we were married.

Sara :)

Same here

[Lela]

Hi, ladies! Yay for the VB thread! I'm not going to go read all the pages I missed, but I'll do the introduction thing.

Me: Lela
FH: Kellen
Wedding: 1/6/07
Reason we're waiting: religious reasons. We both believe this, which makes waiting easier for us, I think.
Anything else: our wedding date is our 6 year anniversary, so by the time January gets here, we will be (already are!) beyond ready for our first time together. Also, I have no idea where that first time will be because he's surprising me with our wedding night accommodations, but I'm guessing it's not too far away and that we'll be quick getting away from our reception so we can get there nice and early. ;)

[*Stacie*]

Yay!!!! Lela, you found MLW! :)

[Lela]

:) Sk8ermaiden found me on Facebook and told me about it. Yay for Facebook!

[smiles]

Yea Lela! You found us!!!

[*TanyaJeanne*]

:hiya:

[Lela]

So how are all my VB friends doing? Anybody talk to Jess, now that she's married?

[*Stacie*]

I THINK she is actually signed up to these boards...

[Lela]

Hmm I'll have to see if I can find her....

ETA: Yep I found her but she's only made something like 7 posts and she joined back on the 17th. So maybe she's not too active on MLW yet. But I posted on her welcome thread and told her she should come bestow her newlywed advice on us, so maybe we'll hear from her soon.

[smiles]

She signed up for the boards, but hasn't been to active here yet. I really want to hear how newlywed life is going for her. Hopefully she finds us here.

[Michelle]

Hey everyone! I had looked for this thread, but for some reason never found it! I thought we weren't having it anymore...

I have a ton of questions to catch up on, but I'll start with the intro:

Me: Michelle
FH: Chris
Wedding: August 19, 2006
Reason we're waiting: It was something we decided on when we started dating 7 years ago, and decided to continue to wait even though it wasn't something that we had been taught as children or because of religious reasons. We just felt it was morally right to keep that value.
Anything else: I'm so glad to see you ladies back here! Go us for waiting!

[Michelle]

were/are your DH/FH's Virgin's too when you married?
yup!


QOD: Are you going to have sex on the wedding night?
Uhm, yes. We've waited long enough, and our reception should be over early enough so that we won't be so tired!

QOD: What is the most temptation you have had waiting for sex until your wedding night?
There have been a few times when we have talked about it seriously while cuddling/other things - we keep saying things like "We're old enough and mature enough and we know that each other is the one, and we've been together forever. What are we waiting for again?" But, it always comes back to the fact that it was a decision we made a really long time ago, so why not just keep it.

[Michelle]

I was not a virgin bride and I have been married a long time but if you don't mind, can I ask you something? Most of you have said you have stayed virgins because it was something you were taught. Does that mean that you stayed virgins because you believed it was something you should do or because you thought others might think badly of you for having sex before marriage?
Why was it important to you?
Did you want or hope that your FH had sexual experience or that he did not?
What are you most afraid of when it comes to sex?
If you had to close your eyes and dream (without embarrassment),what do you imagine sex will be like?

You don't have to answer- I am not asking for nasty reasons. I always envied women who kept themselves... how do I even say this? Women who kept themselves pure? Women who were unsullied? See, it makes it sound like sex is dirty and it is not. Maybe what I mean is I envied women who were so in control of themselves.


These are such great questions, Diane!

I stayed a virgin because, even though there was never any big "sex" talk with my 'rents, it was just something I thought that you were supposed to do. And, to me, it made sense. It was something that was so important and so special that it never made sense to just give away my virginity to someone without really knowing what love was or what it really meant to be ready to make that decision.
It was important to me because it was a personal thing that was dear to my heart. After awhile it became something that I had done that other people hadn't - it was something that I kept even when the "bible thumpers" around me didn't. It felt good to have that self control.
FH was a virgin, we met when we were 16 and 17, so it wasn't really an issue.
I'm not really afraid of anything. We're pretty comfortable with eachother.

And, when I dream about sex, these lyrics come to mind...
"storm clouds may gather and stars may collide"
magical and earth moving.

I hope I'm not dissapointed. :)

[smiles]

Michelle- It's so great to see you here. Glad you found this thread again.

[Michelle]

Thanks Steph! I'm glad I found it again, too, because I came face to face with a VB problem the other day.

After my latin class (of only 5 people, so we're all pretty good friends) we were discussing a newly learned latin word, pudor which means feminine honor/chastness.
I happen to hate the word because it sounds awful, so someone mentioned my pudor because I'm getting married. I said "Well, it's intact, so it's not up for discussion."

This other girl said "You're 23 and it's intact?"
She was pretty judgemental.
I don't know why it's such a big deal. It's not like it even effects her life at all. I just hate it when people act like that.

Ok, vent over!

[smiles]

I understand when it comes to judgemental people.

I remember 2 weeks before my wedding. I went out to dinner with a friend. She believed firmly everyone should live together before marriage. She was talking about how she hasn't have sex with her boyfriend in a week. Then out of knowhere she asked me if we were taking time off from sex before the wedding. I said yes. Then she just kept asking way personal questions, finally she says you guys are remaining really remaing celebate before marriage with a puzzled look on her face. She said she never heard of anyone waiting before. She kind of acted like we were never going to have sex or something. And I said so what that we are waiting to have sex. It just annoys me that people can't believe that I could wait until I was 23 to have sex. It's really none of their buisness.

[smiles]

A few weeks ago DH's best friend who was best man in our wedding was talking to us. He said that he just had a one night stand with some drunk girl he couldn't stand just to say he was 28 and not a virgin anymore. My DH told him he was stupid for doing that, and told him that he was happy he waited to find the right girl. I was so proud of him for actually supporting waiting. It got us talking about if it is harder for girls or guys to wait. Obviously there is much more social pressure on guys, but girls have it hard also which suprisingly DH didn't realize.

What are all of your thoughts?

[saraw04]

Michelle - Welcome!

I don't think either DH or I experienced much social pressure when it came to waiting. We were lucky that most everyone we were surrounded by was supportive. I few of my college friends would tease us, but they were not judgemental at all. My high school friends and I never even discuss it. I assume they are virgins as well but am not for sure. I don't think DH's friends ever really gave him a hard time either.

I don't think it is easy for guys or girls to wait. Everywhere you look - on TV, in magazines, in movies - there is sex. It is used very often to try to sell products as well. It's becoming more and more acceptable to not wait. If guys wait they are not "macho" and if girls wait people think they are not interested in sex and are going to be virgins the rest of their lives.

Personally, I think when most people give us a hard time it is because they really deep down wish they would have waited and are jealous we have been able to wait.

Sara :)

[Michelle]

In high school it wasn't a big deal because most people around us were waiting. Many DTD before we graduated, but they didn't really care that we hadn't had sex yet.

In college we chose to hang around with people who support rather than ridicule our decisions. An example is my best friend. She didn't chose to wait, but she completely supports our decision 100%. Plus, she's great for sex advice. :lol:

I have always worked in restaurants, and if you've ever worked in a restaurant you know that the caliber of people that work there isn't exactly the highest. That was where I have received the most scrutiny. At work the other night a group of girls were standing around talking about sex and since they were asking I told them that we were virgins. They started giving me all this advice like we had never seen eachother naked etc before, which was great. But, it was a little awkward!

[smiles]

I always tried to hang around people that supported my decision. In college that was easy, because most of my friends were waiting. Although plenty of people don't wait there. It was once I got out of college and was seriously dating someone that I had the most pressure, and it was mostly people I work with or old high school friends that were not from church.

[Lela]

I haven't had any pressure about being a virgin- besides pressure that tv and scantily-clad people in your everyday life throw at you! :) Really, in high school, most of my friends felt like I did, whether for religious reasons or not, and the ones that didn't never talked about it because they knew how I felt and didn't want to make me uncomfortable, I guess. In college, going to Christian university, virtually everybody believed it was right to wait, and those that didn't weren't very vocal about it- at least not among the people I hung out with! Now that college is over, maybe the pressure will get worse, but I don't work in an environment where a bunch of girls are friends and talk about anything and everything together. Maybe that'll change... but at least I only have 5 months (!) left!

[*Diane*]

I am not surprised by the comments that other people have made to you guys, being critical of your decision. It seems like so much of our culture pushes people to do whatever they feel like doing, no fear of consequences.

Let's talk about the flip side, though. Do you feel critical of people who didn't wait? Again, I am not looking to be ugly, just curious.

[smiles]

Do you feel critical of people who didn't wait?

nope- We are all individuals, and have the freedom of choice. For me I think it's best to wait and I chose to wait. For some people they think they shouldn't wait. For me if a struggling virgin bride would ask my opinion if they should have sex, I would say it's best to wait and back up my opinion. If someone told me they have already had sex or are going to have sex and don't want to wait. I would be fine and supportive of that, because that is their beliefs. Although that doesn't change my belief on that I think it is best for people to wait. The sex life is between the couple, and noone else. Only they know themselves, and they can make their own decisions. I don't like people being critical of my desisions, although I'm fine with them not agreeing. Just because I don't agree with someone, you can still be nice about disagreeing without being critical.

[saraw04]

I am not critical at all. It is a person's own decision whether they want to wait or not. A lot of my college friends didn't wait and it didn't change our friendship. After having waited and finally having sex I don't understand why people think it is so great to sleep with other people before they are married, but I don't criticize them for it. What other people do is their own business.

Sara :)

[finallymarried06]

Hey ladies! I'm late to join, but that's ok.. I'm here now =) I was a virgin bride as well and I thought I'd join the thread to help support those of you who are still waiting (patiently I'm sure!)


Name and age: Audrey, 21
Wedding Date: July 1, 2006
Why you are waiting: I waited because I grew up with parents who always said that was the right thing to do.. therefore I formed my own morals that it was as well. When it got close to time I waited because I was so proud of myself for holding back that I didn't want to ruin it after wanting to wait my whole life!

DH was also a virgin (only b/c he respected my decision.. if I had given in, he would have too!!).

Anyway.. it's good to see so many VB's!!! We are a rare breed these days =)

[saraw04]

Hi Audrey! Welcome! So, after being married a month, was your wait worth it?! :eyebrows:

Sara :)

[finallymarried06]

lol.. definitely! We've had some good times and I know even more to come.. hehe. I don't regret waiting one single bit and it's been wonderful (especially for him, lol). We're still adjusting though, to each other's bodies and rhythms. Sometimes it's difficult because there are positions that don't feel good for me. Sorry if it's TMI.. but I thought you other virgin brides should know that it's absolutely wonderful to finally be sharing that, but it's not necessarily going to be the best sex of your life!

[Lela]

Audrey- don't worry about TMI; if this is like the old thread on UW, we're pretty blunt with our questions and answers. And we still-not-married VBs appreciate all the advice we can get! :)

[smiles]

Welcome Audrey, Glad to see another already married VB here. There are several here that are still waiting, and some here that are already married and here to give support. We love to hear experiences, and it's rare that something is TMI.

[Michelle]

Ok, since it's getting REALLY close for Stacie and myself, lets have a QOD.

What is your best advice for your first time on your wedding night? ANything you wish you would have known, please tell us, and anything you want to share, don't worry about over share!

[soulmates]

Lela~I saw that you were looking for Jessica, so you know she is very active at a board that we've been at since before UW was hacked so she won't be here much.

[smiles]

What is your best advice for your first time on your wedding night? Anything you wish you would have known, please tell us, and anything you want to share, don't worry about over share!

My best advise is after your wedding you will be tired. Even if your wedding gets done at a decent hour it's a big day. We had sex our first night, but it wasn't very good sex. Don't have any expectations of the first night, and you will be happy with it. I was happy I didn't study up to much on sex. I used my own knowledge from what friends and my mom told me. DH was the same way where he had no expectations. That helped a lot. We both had no idea what we were doing, so we could figure it out together and it was fun that way. I saved the books and reading up on sex stuff for after the wedding. It will hurt a little bit at first, and there could be bleeding. I didn't hurt bad at all, and I didn't bleed but everyone is different. Be overly prepared for the wedding night. Make sure you've discussed BC and have a method if you aren't TTC right away. If you are using condoms or want them for backup make sure to have plenty packed. Bring lube for sure, because you never know if you'll need it. I remembered it the wedding night and was glad I had it, but forgot in on another trip not long after that and there was no place to get it. If you are to tired and it is disappointing remember that you'll have a whole marriage to have fun and have sex. We didn't have very good sex the first night, but by the third night it was much better. Even after almost a year we're still learning. My best advise is don't have any expectations. Let the night take its course and enjoy it.
I can't believe it's so close for you guys Stacie and Michelle!!!

[saraw04]

What is your best advice for your first time on your wedding night? ANything you wish you would have known, please tell us, and anything you want to share, don't worry about over share!

Steph gave great advice! The first time is not going to be very good. For us it was very short but the intimacy of it makes it so wonderful! It will definitely improve and you will always find ways to make it better. We have been married over two years and are still learning. Just make sure you go into it with a sense of humor and RELAX!

Our wedding night suite had a jacuzzi in it so we sat in there for a bit first when we got there. That helped tremendously since my feet were killing me. It was also a great precursor to sex.

Oh, and also a tip. I don't know how many other people do this, but I would recommend having a towel on hand. Since I am on BC we don't use condoms and it can get messy. It is nice to have a towel to clean yourself off with and also to prevent anything from getting on the bed or other surface. We keep a "sex" towel right next to our bed. :hehe:

Sara :)

[*Stacie*]

You guys are so great for sharing this with us!!!

I went the other day to get a new pill. The one I was on (Yasmin21) I started spotting about 5 days before my period and didn't stop for another few days after my period. I did not want to have a pill that would be ineffective, so I went to my Dr. and changed to a new one. I told the Dr. that I am nervous and was wondering if it would hurt. I have my Mom to talk to about this, but I wanted to get a second opinion. She said it could since I am a virgin, but just to take it slow and it probably won't be the best we've ever had. I am prepared for that. My Mom even told me to have lube. (We just have a close relationship and she is more like a friend to me, so it's not weird to talk about stuff like that) I think she just wants me to be prepared.

Bryan is not a virgin, and I am ok with that. I never said I had to marry a virgin, I just had to be one. I am ok with it because he will know a few things I don't. I know it will take some adjusting, and I am so comfortable with him, I am not the least bit worried. We are going on a 12 day honeymoon and I am a little scared that he will want to have sex everyday... you probably need to take a break sometime, right? :lol: Anyways... thanks for all the advice... please keep it coming :)

[saraw04]

We are going on a 12 day honeymoon and I am a little scared that he will want to have sex everyday... you probably need to take a break sometime, right? :lol: Anyways... thanks for all the advice... please keep it coming :)

DH and I were both virgins so we were very excited about having sex. We were just in awe of it. We found ourselves saying many times "I can't believe we can/did actually have sex!" even months after the wedding. :lol: We had a five day honeymoon and I don't think we took a break until the following week. You do need a break every once in a while though, because you can tend to get sore (from the rubbing) after a while.

Sara :)

[*Stacie*]

DH and I were both virgins so we were very excited about having sex. We were just in awe of it. We found ourselves saying many times "I can't believe we can/did actually have sex!"

:lol: That will be exactly what we will be saying... we already say "I can not believe we will be having sex in only ___ DAYS!!"

[Michelle]

:lol: That will be exactly what we will be saying... we already say "I can not believe we will be having sex in only ___ DAYS!!"

We've been saying that, too!

Your honeymoon is going to be so great, Stacie! I'm green with envy!

[*Stacie*]

Hahaha... I guess we all have been doing that at some point :lol:

THE COUNT DOWN BEGINS!!!!!!!

[*TanyaJeanne*]

You guys are so close!! :hug:

[*Stacie*]

We will come back and share our new found wisdom with you all ;)

[smiles]

I remember the countdown to my wedding. It was exciting to say only _ more days until I have sex. Then you're supprised once it's all over how fast the waiting actually went. I found it easier to wait for the last week leading up to the wedding, because I was so busy with wedding stuff on my mind, and I knew that it was so close that there was an end in sight.

[*TanyaJeanne*]

We will come back and share our new found wisdom with you all ;)

:rofl: hehehe that's awesome :heee:

[*Stacie*]

WOOHOO! 8 days for me!! And 9 days for Michelle!!

[finallymarried06]

YAAAY for you girls who are so close!! I thought I'd add more to answer the QOD...

There's not much I can add to the great advice you girls have already been given!! I know others have said it, but just be aware that you probably will bleed. DH and I had an old sheet that we folded up and put down below us. Also, have some toilet paper on hand so you can wipe away any blood. We were SO glad to have that sheet b/c DH is well endowed and I bled like nobody's business!!! Actually, I bled even the next couple of nights after that. So just keep that sheet or towel on hand. Also.. the lube was good advice. Even if you don't have a problem becoming lubricated, you might that night because you'll be so nervous!! I had to use it for quite awhile before I could go without comfortably.

As I said, DH is well endowed, therefore we actually didn't have sex every day on our honeymoon b/c it really hurt for awhile with me! I think we did every day but one. Just be open with each other and if you're sore and you don't want to have sex that night pleasure each other in some other way. Don't feel like you HAVE to have sex just because it's your honeymoon. Just relax, enjoy each other, and enjoy the fact that you CAN have sex if you want to!

I hope I helped some! I know I didn't say much more than every one else. You girls all give such great advice! =)

[Lela]

Stacie and Michelle- yay for being close to being married women!

I am so glad to hear y'all say you countdown to having sex. Obviously that's not the most important thing I think about when I say, "Five months till my wedding!" but the word "night" does seem to slip in after wedding in my head almost everytime I say it! :D I'm glad to hear I'm not the only girl to count down to sex! ;)

I'm kinda worried about my expectations. Because the way I found out about sex was I read a... um... an explicit book without knowing what it was I was getting myself into before I was really old enough to understand that certain books don't always portray sex accurately, if you know what I mean? So I've had this idea of what sex should be like, and I'm pretty sure it's not realistic, and I KNOW it won't be realistic for a long time, but I can't get it out of my head because it's the first idea I had of sex! I'm afraid I'm going to disappoint myself. So I keep telling myself it won't be good, and I just hope that I actually believe myself, ya know?

[smiles]

Lela- Don't wory about expectations, just try to think of it as if its not that great you can improve. That night you'll be so happy you're having sex, that those expectations will probably not flood your mind.

Everyone has some sorts of expections that they don't even realize from their past experiences. Expecatons come from what people tell us, movies, media, books, and experiences. It's important not to let those unrealistic expections get in the way of what is really important. Try to think of it in a way as if its not that great you can work on getting better, just like you have to work on communication in a realationship you have to work on sex in a relationship.

[smiles]

I had to share a book that I wish I had read before I was married.

The book is Sheet Music by Kevin Leman.
http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0842360247/104-1007721-6659901?v=glance&n=283155

It's a great book that is all about sex in marriage. I read the book after my mom gave it to me after I was married 6 months. I wish I had read the first 4 chapters before I was married. It's really a good preperation for the wedding night. The book is designed to prepare someone waiting until the wedding night to benifit from the first 4 chapter before the wedding night, and to read the rest of the book after the wedding night. This book talks about sex in a way that it's not talked about much.

[saraw04]

Happy wedding week Stacie and Michelle!! :loveshower: Your big night is almost here!! :whoop:

Steph - I will have to look into that book, it sounds interesting.


Sara :)

[smiles]

:woo: :bliss: :jump4joy:
Happy wedding week Stacie and Michelle. Your big night is very soon.

[*Stacie*]

Thanks girls :) I went to the store and bought some good flavoured lube like you all suggested and a few other fun things for the HM ;) Only 72 more hours :lol:

[Lela]

72 more hours- WHOA, that's soon! I'm so excited for you! And so excited for you to come back and share advice with us! Only 145 days for FH and me- which is nowhere near 72 hours, but after dating for nearly 6 years it's finally starting to get close for us, too. Come on, January....

Steph- thanks for the encouraging words and the book reccomendation. I'll definitely check it out.

[*TanyaJeanne*]

Your getting closer stacie!!!

[smiles]

Stacie- I can't believe you're almost married. Can't wait for you to come back, so we can hear all about it. It's getting so close.

Stacie and Michelle- Enjoy your days before the wedding. It will be hard to believe that it's all over once it is over.

[saraw04]

Stacie - You are almost there! You will have lots of fun on your honeymoon! :hehe:

Sara :)

[Michelle]

:banana:

3 days! And only 2 days for Stacie!

[*TanyaJeanne*]

:naughtydance::naughtydance::naughtydance:

[saraw04]

Stacie and Michelle - Where are you going on your honeymoons and when do you leave?

Sara :)

[smiles]

QOD: For those aroung here that are already married are glad that you waited? Did you feel it made your wedding night more special?

I'm so glad that I waited. There were times that I was tempted, but it all paid off in the end. I know I would have regreted not waiting. Our wedding night was very special knowing that we waited.

[saraw04]

QOD: For those aroung here that are already married are glad that you waited? Did you feel it made your wedding night more special?

We were both very happy we waited! We would have regretted not waiting as well. After the wedding we couldn't understand why more people wouldn't want to wait. I would recommend waiting to anyone!

Sara :)

[finallymarried06]

QOD: For those aroung here that are already married are glad that you waited? Did you feel it made your wedding night more special?

Yes! I'm definitely glad I waited. There were many times I seriously considered just saying forget it and doing it.. but I am so glad I stuck to my beliefs. DH isn't and wasn't happy with it.. but he got over it! It definitely made for an interesting wedding night! All though it was kind of painful, it was definitely a special moment and the perfect time to share it. I would also recommend waiting =)

[Michelle]

I"m going to answer a few of the past questions now. :heee:

I am glad that we waited. For us, it was a huge sense of accomplishment at the end, and it gave us something to look forward to on the wedding night - something special.

Advice - don't be afraid to laugh. Your wedding night is going to be comical.

[*TanyaJeanne*]

Yay Michelle!! :) Hii!!!

[saraw04]

Congratulations Michelle! I agree, you definitely need a sense of humor!

Sara :)

[smiles]

Congratulations Michelle! Glad to see you back as a married woman.

I agree with definitly needing a sense of humor on the wedding night, because things don't always go as expected.

[Andrea]

hiya :wavey: Damian and I were gunna wait (he was my first) because he knew of my decision and TOTALLY respected me but we accidently went a lil to far. I KNOW im forgiven but i don't regret it

[smiles]

Welcome Collegegal. That;s great he was your first.

[*Stacie*]

Hey girls!! Thought I would quickly tell you about my wedding night.

My best friend Tasha upgraded us to a $1000 night suite at the hotel we were booked at and went in earlier that day and decorated it like crazy!!! It was gorgeous. She had sprinkled rose petals everywhere and set up tea light candles all over. We had sparkling shiraz waiting for us next to a gigantic plate of strawberries and cool whip. We sast down by the fire place and opened our gifts. Bryan gave me a whute Bride's Bible with my new name inscribed on the front and a beautiful card. I gave him a letter thanking him for waiting til tonight for this special occasion ;) Then I went in and took off my dress and put on my wedding night lingerie. It took awhile to get on and was seriously off in about 45 seconds :lol: I was soooooooo nervous when I came out, but so was he! When it happened the song on the radio that was playing was someone signing to 1 Corinthians 13 (the love chapter) I almost started to BAWL! I asked him way before that when we actually "did it" if he could please look me in the eyes.. and he did :) It did not hurt, just felt a little different... then we just laid there after and I soaked it all in! Everyone said it wouldn't be that great, but honestly it was AMAZING! I am still learning the knack of it... but we have really been enjoying our honeymoon.... if you know what I mean :)

[MrsRea]

Aww, I have been waiting to hear from you how it was! I am so glad that it was amazing and so great for you!

[*Ashley*]

Hey girls!! Thought I would quickly tell you about my wedding night.

My best friend Tasha upgraded us to a $1000 night suite at the hotel we were booked at and went in earlier that day and decorated it like crazy!!! It was gorgeous. She had sprinkled rose petals everywhere and set up tea light candles all over. We had sparkling shiraz waiting for us next to a gigantic plate of strawberries and cool whip. We sast down by the fire place and opened our gifts. Bryan gave me a whute Bride's Bible with my new name inscribed on the front and a beautiful card. I gave him a letter thanking him for waiting til tonight for this special occasion ;) Then I went in and took off my dress and put on my wedding night lingerie. It took awhile to get on and was seriously off in about 45 seconds :lol: I was soooooooo nervous when I came out, but so was he! When it happened the song on the radio that was playing was someone signing to 1 Corinthians 13 (the love chapter) I almost started to BAWL! I asked him way before that when we actually "did it" if he could please look me in the eyes.. and he did :) It did not hurt, just felt a little different... then we just laid there after and I soaked it all in! Everyone said it wouldn't be that great, but honestly it was AMAZING! I am still learning the knack of it... but we have really been enjoying our honeymoon.... if you know what I mean :)

Awww, yay! I'm so glad it was wonderful for you!!! That's absolutely great!

And yeah, sometimes feels sort of weird, even after you've been doing it a while :p

[smiles]

Stacie- I'm so glad to hear you had a wonderful wedding night. I couldn't wait to hear from you. That's so great that your wedding night went so well, and that your first time was so special.

Still almost a year later, I'm learning new things. Keep enjoying the honeymoon phase, where it's still new.

[Andrea]

WOW...thats awesome...awww so it didn't hurt? the first time damian and i did, i BAWLED...I bled.

Did he go pretty fast? were you nervous?

is it true that you do it ALL the time on yur honeymoon

[Andrea]

haha ya it is amazing...I know it will be better when we're married but im so proud of you for waiting gurl

[*Stacie*]

collegegal - No it did not hurt at all. No bleeding either.. Thank GOD! :lol:
The sucky thing is that aunt flow came for a visit in the middle of our honeymoon :( SUCKY! But we still managed to enjoy ourselves.... anyways ya... let's just say we made the most of our time in Hawaii ;)

[Andrea]

WOW yur one lucky one haha Damian must've done some ncie damage to me then...

[*Ashley*]

My first time hurt a bit. Not too too bad but it was tight, it wasn't but for like, a couple seconds. It got better, but no much. I shouldn't have slept with the guy that I did, but I was 18 and stupid and thought I really loved him. Ahh well. Michael is the best though, even sometimes it will be uncomforatable and he's normally good about realizing it or reading signals without me having to say something :)

[Andrea]

WOW...damian is usually good to...it don't hurt me usually...well sometimes it does because were trying to stop now so we go for periods of like weeks when we dont so then it hurts but im happy with my Damian :D:D:D

hes JUST the perfect size

[smiles]

Stacie- Sorry about your period on your honeymoon. I'm glad it wasn't to painful.

QOD: Do your parents know that you waited?
I shared with my mom that I was waiting, and following through with what they taught me was right growing up. My parents didn't wait, and they were very open with me that they wish they did wait. My mom was happy that I waited, but still I wonder if she believes that I waited, because she knows I wouldn't tell her if I didn't wait.

[LVCRose]

Hi ladies! I thought I would join in. I posted in the VB thread on UW as well. Glad to find everyone again!

Name and age: Joanna, 24
Wedding Date: October 21, 2006
Why you are waiting: I believe that sex is something to be saved for marriage and I only want to give myself to one other person...my husband.
Anything else: So glad to find this thread again!

were/are your DH/FH's Virgin's too when you married? Adam is not a virgin. It doesn't bother me because he has respected my decision and has not pressured me.

QOD: Are you going to have sex on the wedding night?
We have had every intention of having sex on our wedding night, but I just realized that I will have my period on our wedding night. I'm not on BCP, so I can't alter it. I'm hoping that the stress leading up to the wedding will cause it to come either early or be late.

QOD: What is the most temptation you have had waiting for sex until your wedding night
There were a few close calls. I have felt bad the next day, but know that we didn't do anything. Adam is wonderful with not letting things go too far. I must say it's easier for me now to have more self control now that there's an end in sight!

QOD: Do your parents know that you waited?
I honestly do not know what my mom thinks. Sex is something that is not discussed in our house, so I would not have discussed my decision with her either way.

[finallymarried06]

QOD: Do your parents know that you waited?

Yes, my parents know! They are the ones who raised me with the belief that I should wait. All though there were a few times they suspected that I wasn't waiting and I think even now they are suspicious that we didn't wait (b/c we did a lot of other things except for sex before marriage). But, they do know and I was always honest with them about it.

[*Stacie*]

QOD: Do your parents know that you waited?

My parents! My brother! My friends! Bryan's parents! EVERYONE knew!!!!! My leaving song from the wedding was "like a virgin" and if people didn't know before... well they certainly knew then ;)

[smiles]

That's so cute you used the song "Like a Virgin". I never thought of that.

[*Stacie*]

It was hysterical Stephanie! Everyone loved it :)

[saraw04]

I'm back from vacation. Congratulations Stephanie! I'm so glad you had a wonderful wedding night! I will be checking out your WDS soon!

QOD: Do your parents know that you waited?

I'm not sure. I think they probably knew.

Sara :)

[Michelle]

QOD: Do your parents know that you waited?

I really don't think that they believe it. It's not that they don't trust me, I just think that in this day and age they had a hard time believing that a 23 year old and a 24 year old would wait so long! But, it wasn't about what everyone else thought, it was about what we wanted to do.

[stephjhudson]

Okay, so, I can never be a virgin again...I didn't wait, part of me wishes I would have, part of me is fine with my prior decisions...
BUT, we are coming up on about one year to go until wedding day (this october 20th) and I was thinking about stopping then and waiting the last year...what do u think? is that stupid?

[smiles]

If you want to stop and wait that is your decision. It's whatever you want to do. You can't change what you did previously, but you can choose to wait from that point. It's whatever decision you make, but if you make the decision, make sure it's agreed on between both of you and don't get tempted and change your decision. Think about your motivations and why you are stopping for the year pryor to you wedding.

[Andrea]

ask God to help you with that decision...i had a friend that asked God to take away that desire...and he did

you could also pray to be a spiritual virgin :)

[saraw04]

I agree with the girls Steph. Do whatever you feel in your heart is right. If your FH and you are both willing to wait and understand why you are doing it, go for it!

Sara :)

[*Stacie*]

It's been awhile in since there has been a discussion in here. How is everyone? :)

[smiles]

I'm doing great. Keeping really busy with redoing our bathroom and working.

I was talking to a divorsed lady at work the other day. She says now she wants to be a virgin until she remarries, but she experinced sex from her ex husband she can't live without it, so tries to get it from anyone. She just doesn't think it's possible to wait again. Her ex wanted the divorce, and she didn't want it.

[Andrea]

tell you you have a good friend, his name is Jesus....:) tell her that she can pray to him to be a "spiritual virgin"

i totally know what she means tho...once you get into it you can't stop...i wanted to wait till i was married, but it happened one day and I CANT STOP...BUT it has been a month and counting :bliss:

[saraw04]

Hi girls! DH and I were on a week and a half vacation and got back a week ago. It was so nice to have time to be together and be so relaxed!

When I was in college all my friends told me the same thing, "once you start having sex you won't be able to stop!" I agree somewhat, but I definitely don't need to have it every day. I would say if I go without it for four or five days then I start to get a little antsy! ;)

Sara :)

[sweetiez]

Wow just Huge congrats to all who waitted till they were married!
I waitted till i was a week shy of 19th ;-) i thought i loved osme guy u know the story! But all is good. FH wasn't a virgin either. when we met. hehe i *heart* hem .
again huge congrats to you all!

[smiles]

Thanks for the support sweetiez.

Today something got me thinking about the sex education I had back in middle and high school.
QOD: What were you taught about sex in school? Were you taught it was ok or not?

I went to a public middle and high school. It seemed like back in my day they were teaching safe sex. We learned all about using a condom. They didn't treat sex as something wrong before marriage. It seemed almost encouraged by some teachers. When we were talking about birth control methods in school I remeber asking a question about abstinence, and the teacher said she knows none of us will wait to have sex so it's not a birth control method. I was insulted, because even back then I wanted to stay a virgin.

[Andrea]

In school, I was taught safe sex...NEVER once do i remember abstidents!

[Kathy]

In school, I was taught safe sex...NEVER once do i remember abstidents!


At my school, we were ONLY taught abstinence. The pages in our sex ed books about anything else - safe sex, condoms, STDs, birth control, etc. - were all ripped out. And my town isn't even that conservative, so I have no idea why there was such an extreme. And since this is my first time posting in this thread, I should say that I did not wait, but FH was my first/only.

[*Stacie*]

QOD: What were you taught about sex in school? Were you taught it was ok or not?

We were taught safe sex. We were told that abstinence is the only 100% effective method of birth control (duh!!). I knew back then though I was staying a virgin, so I didn't really care all that much. I knew I was never going to run the risk of getting an STD or an unwanted pregnancy. I just listened to it all very carefully and always knew the answers to everything when they would ask questions :lol:

[Michelle]

QOD: What were you taught about sex in school? Were you taught it was ok or not?

When I was in school we were taught about safe(r) sex. We were taught about STDs, and how to use condoms and that it was definitely better to wait until you were in love, better yet married, but if you were going to have sex that being responsible was important. We were also told that abstinence was the only 100% effective form of birth control there was, and the only way to prevent STDs 100% as well.

My sister, who is in the same schools I was in, but legislation is different now, is being taught like Mr. Mackay in "SouthPark" - "sex is bad, mmmkay" and they pass around pictures of genital warts and herpes breakouts to scare the kids into not having sex, which really makes them all want to do it more. stupid abstinence only education only works for people who are surrounded by a support group of people (churches, friends, parents, family etc) that reinforce that belief. It makes things worse for people who aren't surrounded by such support.

[Andrea]

i was listening to the radio today and they were saying that school don't teach abstidence because then they will think sex is wrong LOL

[smiles]

The way they teach sex in school now in school is different than what I learned. I was taught safe(r) sex, and that didn't work because there were plenty of girls pg and STDs went around. Now my sister learned complete abstience which is scaring kids into not having sex. It doesn't work any better, because what the kids are told is forbidden they want to do more. I agree for the most part is why they wait if they have a support system at home of church, supportive parents, friends and famly that teaches them the real reasons for waiting.

[smiles]

My sister just found out her best friend is pg. She is only 16. My sister told her she was stupid for having unprotected sex, and even sex with this guy at all. And my sister used to have sex with her different bfs, but now is waiting until at least she is engaged if not until she is married. She's now thinking about an abortion, but my sister is really trying to talk her out of it. I never really knew anyone this well that got pg so young. There were people I went to school with, but noone I really knew.

[saraw04]

QOD: What were you taught about sex in school? Were you taught it was ok or not?

I attended Catholic schools from elementary through high school. I don't really remember learning anything about sex at all. I remember learning about our bodies and things like that in health, but I don't know if they even brought up sex. If they did, I'm sure it was for abstinence.

I don't remember anyone in my high school getting pregnant. I don't know what would have happened if someone did.

Sara :)

[smiles]

Update on my sister's pg friend, she is going to have an abortion, but she'll have to live with that decision the rest of her life. It's hard to believe young people take sex so lightly these days, and don't realize there are concequences. It one thing if people don't wait, because they are ready for that step, but teens these days take sex so lightly.

[Andrea]

you said that alrite steph...and i dunno about you ladies but it takes the first while to enjoy it...like after a week or so because it hurts so i don't see why teens like it...ugh

[saraw04]

Steph, that is too bad! I completely agree with you. Teens think they are "grown up" enough to have sex but then realize once they are pregnant that they are not ready to be parents.

Sara :)

[*Stacie*]

Update on my sister's pg friend, she is going to have an abortion, but she'll have to live with that decision the rest of her life. It's hard to believe young people take sex so lightly these days, and don't realize there are concequences. It one thing if people don't wait, because they are ready for that step, but teens these days take sex so lightly.

Unbelievable! What gets me is there are so many people who want kids and want to adopt because they can't have kids themselves.. and then there are people who are so selfish and think it would be harder to give someone their baby to raise then to kill the baby. I can't even get into the discussion of abortion because it makes me so mad how people will justify their reasons. I'm sorry, but NO reason is a good reason to kill an innocent child and every baby is a miracle from God.

[lizaanne]

Update on my sister's pg friend, she is going to have an abortion, but she'll have to live with that decision the rest of her life. It's hard to believe young people take sex so lightly these days, and don't realize there are concequences. It one thing if people don't wait, because they are ready for that step, but teens these days take sex so lightly.

Sadly, she will have to live with this for the rest of eternity, and that's a very long time.

~Liza

[Michelle]

I'm obviously in the minority in this group, and I'm ok with that. I completely respect everyone's views on abortion, but I wanted to add a little different perspective, because perspective never hurts. I am in no way trying to change anyone's mind.

My first point - What Steph said is correct - teens take sex very lightly, and because no one tells them HOW their bodies work, they just say that they do, they don't know how to be responsible. By just saying "don't do it" they think it's like speeding, or eating too many french fries, or talking back to your mother, or skipping class. But, being old enough to have sex and being old enough to want children are two completely different things.

My second point - Obviously, the poor scared girl knows that it's something she'll have to live with forever. They are intensive counseling sessions that are required of everyone who has an abortion, making it completely clear how hard it will be on her mental state and on her body. What she needs is a world where people can support her - not where people have no more to say than "she has to live with that for eternity".

My third point - There are many families out there who want children, and there are more children out there than families who want to/can adopt. Her decision, outwardly, looks selfish, but in most cases, of people who believe that abortions are not evil, forbidden, etc, they're better for everyone's health involved.

My fourth point - It is my belief that life does not begin at conception. A bundle of cells that barely size up to a kidney bean can not be cognizant.

My fifth point - If abortion is so wrong - do you feel the same way about war?

[Andrea]

Michelle I completely get where you're coming from...war I HATE IT! mind you i mean some are supporting their countries but man violense doesn't solve

[smiles]

Michelle- I see your point of view where you are coming from. I appriciate hearing different opions It's always going to be a subject that creates a debate. My belief it is that a human life is created at conception. I also am TTC now, and have not got pg yet, so I know there are people that want babies that can't have them. I can also see her reasons for getting an abortion at the same time, although in her case it's more her mom making her get an abortion so the family doesn't look bad.

[Andrea]

Thank you for posting Steph. I was afraid Michelle would think I was putting her RITE down.

I want to thank you also for your views. I like to hear different views as well and I respect others opinions however life is started a contraception. Not tryin to push the bible down you, but isn't there something in the bible about that gurls?

[*TanyaJeanne*]

:hiya: everyone! I haven't been in here since I got married! I hope everyone is doing well!

[saraw04]

Welcome back Tanya! Are you enjoying being married?!

Sara :)

[Michelle]

Hey Tanya! I'm so glad you're back!

And, to answer your question Andrea, there is a place in the Bible, Jeremiah 1:5 is where it starts, where God says to Jeremiah ""Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, and before you were born I consecrated you; I appointed you a prophet to the nations." That is the only place in the Bible that I'm currently aware of that speaks about personage beginning before birth.

I have a lot more to say on the subject myself, but I won't hijack the thread!

So, lets get this rolling back on the original topic -

How's everyone fairing out there in the V-club?

[smiles]

Tanya- So great you're back.

There's not many of you Virgin brides that are still waiting for your weddings. So many of us are married now, but still supporting all you who are left that are waiting. I was so glad I waited, and suprisingly now he DH tells me he's glad we waited because it really did make our wedding night very special.

It's already almost our first Aniversay and we're going out of town and staying a nice resort. We're going to recreate our wedding night, and it's gonna be fun.

[LVCRose]

Hi Ladies! I had popped in earlier, but haven't been around much. Only 25 days till the wedding, so with that and teaching, its been a busy few months! I'm getting very excited for the wedding though. I can't believe we're under a month. It seemed like it would never get here.

One dilemma that I have, though, is that as of right now, I'm supposed to have my period on the wedding night! :happysigh: I'm so disappointed. I'm not on BCP or something like that, so I don't know how to change when I'll get my period. I'm just hoping that Mother Nature takes pity on me since its my wedding night and I don't get my period till a few days later.

[smiles]

Yea! You're so close to your wedding. Hopefully your period will hold off and not spoil your wedding night.

[smiles]

We enjoyed our first anniversary. We celebrated it at a nice hotel just like our wedding night. It was fun that I got out the lingere that I wore on our wedding night, and we talked a lot that night about how it had been a year since that night and how much had changed. We're both so glad we ended up waiting, because now we have our entire marriage to have sex.

[Andrea]

We enjoyed our first anniversary. We celebrated it at a nice hotel just like our wedding night. It was fun that I got out the lingere that I wore on our wedding night, and we talked a lot that night about how it had been a year since that night and how much had changed. We're both so glad we ended up waiting, because now we have our entire marriage to have sex.

that is awesome...did ya put it on for him too ;)

[*Stacie*]

That is really sweet Smiles :) I bet you guys had a great anniversary!

[smiles]

It's really been quiet around here lately. How many are still around her waiting that have not gotten married yet?

[*Stacie*]

I think everyone is married now! :lol:

[purple_octopus]

I've been married before, so I'm not a virgin. But FH and I are waiting until the day. (Not that we can claim to be perfect angels, mind you.)

[purple_octopus]

And it's two more months today! Woo hoo!

[*Stacie*]

That is still awesome! My Mom and steo dad did the same thing... I think it is still important to wait, no matter if you had sex before or not in previous marriages. Good for you, and yay for only 2 more months!!

[smiles]

Yea for only 2 more months. I think everyone is married now.

[dolface546]

I'm new, and totally not married!
Name and Age: Garland, 23
Wedding Date: May 24, 2008
Why are you waiting: Because that is what my religion and parents raised me on. If people lived together before marriage (which I'm totally ok with btw) my mother always referred to them as "living in sin" and the conversation that followed usually included the word "scandalous"
Anything Else: Nah

My FH is a virgin also, mostly b/c his family would probably kill him otherwise!

[saraw04]

Welcome Garland! It has been pretty dead in here lately. Glad to have another virgin bride (and groom!).

Sara :)

[smiles]

Welcome Garland!!!

It's been really dead in here. I'm trying to liven it up again now that we have a new face.

I can't believe DH and I have been married over a year. Now letting young couples know that there are still virgin brides, and not everyone has to have sex before they are married is extra important to me. It's very important because my 17 year old sister made a mistake and is pg.

[pricelessredhead]

I thought I'd stop by to offer support to the VBs since I was active in the one back on UW. :) I was one!

Name and Age: Jessica, 21
Wedding Date: May 20, 2006
Why are you waiting: Our personal religious beliefs and practices required it.
Anything Else: We were both virgins when we got married. :)

[*TanyaJeanne*]

Welcome Garland to this thread :)

[*Stacie*]

I had to share a book that I wish I had read before I was married.

The book is Sheet Music by Kevin Leman.
http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0842360247/104-1007721-6659901?v=glance&n=283155

It's a great book that is all about sex in marriage. I read the book after my mom gave it to me after I was married 6 months. I wish I had read the first 4 chapters before I was married. It's really a good preperation for the wedding night. The book is designed to prepare someone waiting until the wedding night to benifit from the first 4 chapter before the wedding night, and to read the rest of the book after the wedding night. This book talks about sex in a way that it's not talked about much.



I just bought this book and can not wait to start reading it :)

[saraw04]

I got that book, too. DH and I have only gotten through the first four chapters but love it so far. It's been a while since we have read it. I have been waiting to post about it until I was done with it, but that could be a while yet! ;)

Sara :)