What is her problem!?!

[DeeGeeBride2Be2009]

So I'm not on speaking terms with 2 of my sisters. It's a long story but basically they used me as their scapegoat. Anyways, I got an e-mail today from my sister which said she's getting married and she HAD to throw in there that she's getting married before me. Both of the sisters I'm not talking to have kids. Cari is 18 with an almost 1 year old and is the one who just decided to get married (not to the baby's dad) and had to tell me she's doing that before me. I'm the oldest and so far haven't gotten to do ANYTHING first. My wedding was supposed to be mine. I was supposed to have ONE thing I was going to do first. Now her wedding will be in the spotlight and mine will be no big deal. I've been almost in tears all day long and I just feel like why should I even bother having a large wedding now if her's will just overshadow mine anyways. Maybe I'm over reacting but this was the one thing that was mine and now it's like she's taking that away too.

[Squishypig]

Sorry to hear this. When is your sister planning on getting married?

[carolinalady67]

I am sorry, and do understand your feelings. But your wedding will be special and magical no matter what ... because it is yours and DH's. :hug99:

[KelciAlexandra]

please dont feel bad about this and dont let them ruin yours and fh's big day... i kinda know what youre talking about with your sister's never letting you get to do anything special first, im not the oldest but my oldest sister, even though its already accepted that she will most likely do things before i do makes it into a race to see who can do what first (she found out i got engaged so she went and married a guy she knew for 4 1/2 months)... all i can say is try not to let it get to you, i know its hard but if you do it will contribute to the stress and might take a toll on your happy day

[Raychel]

Don't fall into the whole "first" thing.

Because honestly if your sister came in here and told you "my sister is upset at me b/c I'm getting married before her" I can tell you right now what the majority of the responses would be and they probably would not be sympathizing with the older sister ;)

I understand being upset, really I do, but pick yourself up and brush it off.

Your wedding will still be wonderful and you'll still have a spotlight even if right now you don't feel like it. It will be special because it is your & your FH's wedding. Not because it happened first.

ALL weddings are big deals.

Our emotions can just be wacky and tell us otherwise.

[Krissy]

Guess I'll just ditto Raychel since I was going to say pretty much the same thing.

I know it sucks when you want to be first, I think we'd all feel that a little bit. To some extent we're all a little catty and selfish about our weddings. But at the same time you have to be logical about it. Your wedding is still a long ways away. I'm sure you have your reasons to wait, but everyone might not want to wait that long and I can totally see where someone may get engaged and married during your engagement.

Just remember you're doing what is right for YOU. This will be YOUR wedding, it will be what YOU wanted (with FH of course). Who the heck cares what happens first. Your day will be no less special because your sister got married before you.

[Angela]

I DO understand where you're coming from. I have a 2 year old nephew. My sister is almost 3 years younger than me. Did part of me feel like I should have been the first one to have a baby? Sure. But now that I'm pregnant, everyone's just as excited as if I was the first one pregnant in my family. It's not at all like, "oh, Ange is having the 2nd grandchild (5th grandchild in my hubby's family!), so it's not as important/exciting." Everyone's still thrilled about it.

So even though it's not the same situation, I understand what you're feeling. However, your wedding will still be just as special, even though you're sister is getting married first. :hug:

[~*Kate*~]

It sounds like your sister is getting exactly the reaction she hoped for by making a big deal out of being first. She can only ruin your day if you let her. At least this way she can't copy all of your fabulous ideas, right? :hehe:

[DeeGeeBride2Be2009]

I know I'm letting her get the best of me. What makes me the maddest is that she's just never had to work for anything. I've gone through hell and back. Cari got pregnant at 17, hasn't had to work for anything, our dad gave her a car, she got the job she now has because the boss is her now fiance. I got pregnant at 21 but lost the baby, I've been working everyday since I was 16, I JUST got my own car last month because I had to save enough money after paying off college and my bills, and it took me going through horrible abusive relationships before I finally found Michael. Now she has to do this. The only reason she's even with Danny is b/c he's loaded. He was buying her things before they started dating. The first week he knew her he bought her a Coach diaper bag for my niece. Then he got her the matching purse and 2 pairs of Coach shoes, and an entire Armani outfit. Sorry I know I'm ranting but the way she said it just irks me. Her exact words were "Newsflash- im getting married before you.. someone ACTUALLY loves me and yes, he is ACTUALLY marrying me."

[flasoxgirl]

I'm sorry for the stress, it sounds like she is very insecure about you.

[SueMartin]

I'm sorry for the stress, it sounds like she is very insecure about you.

couldnt agree more.. she doesnt have a very high opinion of herself.. only as it relates to people liking her..

if you CANT ignore her, take as little notice as possible. I would still speak to her so she cant turn it around and make YOU the bad guy, but be polite as if she was a stranger.

[Angela]

I'm sorry for the stress, it sounds like she is very insecure about you.

I agree - it sounds like she's almost doing it just to push your buttons, and not for the right reason like you are.

[*Ashley*]

I know I'm letting her get the best of me. What makes me the maddest is that she's just never had to work for anything. I've gone through hell and back. Cari got pregnant at 17, hasn't had to work for anything, our dad gave her a car, she got the job she now has because the boss is her now fiance. I got pregnant at 21 but lost the baby, I've been working everyday since I was 16, I JUST got my own car last month because I had to save enough money after paying off college and my bills, and it took me going through horrible abusive relationships before I finally found Michael. Now she has to do this. The only reason she's even with Danny is b/c he's loaded. He was buying her things before they started dating. The first week he knew her he bought her a Coach diaper bag for my niece. Then he got her the matching purse and 2 pairs of Coach shoes, and an entire Armani outfit. Sorry I know I'm ranting but the way she said it just irks me. Her exact words were "Newsflash- im getting married before you.. someone ACTUALLY loves me and yes, he is ACTUALLY marrying me."

There's your answer.

Why would you even consider being frustrated about a marriage that is based on money, and doesn't seem to be based on love, like yours is with your fiance? Keep in mind that down the road YOU will be the one happy in your marriage knowing that you got married for all the RIGHT reasons :)

*hugs*

Don't be frustrated -- your wedding will be beautiful and perfect for you!

And I agree with Kate -- you're having the reaction she wanted you to have.

[*Diane*]

Ah man, sometimes family just know how to push our buttons, don't they!?? Your wedding will be so much more special than her's could ever be...you have a good man who loves you for who you are. She has a man who has bought her. What happens when someone with more money comes along or when the money runs out?

Focus on the positive stuff. Focus on your own wedding. Believe me, people don't get tired of weddings when they know the couple truly love each other. They can't wait to witness that kind of sweet emotion. Don't let her get to you. Be the bigger person and let it roll off your back. You have what she can never have, regardless of who gets married first.

Hang around here and do your wedding planning. We will chime in with enough unique ideas that your wedding will be heads and shoulders more amazing than hers...regardless of how many money they throw at it. :)

[Sabby12s]

I agree with what the other ladies said. Ignore her. All weddings are big deals. Its not like the people who go to her wedding will have filled their wedding quota for the year so they won't go to your's. If they love you they will be there and be happy for you.