Is there any such thing as it being pre-E for too long?

[Raychel]

Does a certain length of time begin to worry you? Or are you willing to wait however long it takes for you both to get to that point where marriage is the next step?

[carolinalady67]

I was at about the point where I wasn't will to wait much longer with Chris. We had been living together for five years. I was about to turn 40 :shock: and I was ready to be married. He knew from the beginning that marriage was what I wanted eventually and I was willing to wait until he was ready but I didn't want to wake up one day, find myself 60 and still someone's girlfriend.

If I were younger I would have given him more time but at my age I know how fast the years can go. It all worked out though, he got ready for marriage before I had to beat him into being ready :teehee:

[Christa]

I hope this doesn't come off as sounding bad... I would not have waited around forever. I love my DH very much, but getting married is nonnegotiable to me. I don't believe in soulmates and I'm sure that someday I would find another man who I loved just as much.

[RDC_girl]

PRE - E FOR WAY TO LONG!!! LOL... I would never give mark an ultimatum but OMG SIX YEARS... 'nough said!

[jesmendi]

I don't really know how long I would wait...Wesley has been all about marrying me since like three months into the relationship. BUT, I don't know that I could spend the time on someone who, I knew, was not even thinking about the idea of marrying me. I have this rule that says that I wouldn't date someone if there were no hopes of marrying the guy. Dating is for finding the guy you're going to marry. ...but that's just me

[Venus]

I think alot depends on the couples situation, I mean if you are living together and sharing everything already then waiting for years to get married seems to be a cope out, if he is man enough to play house then he is man enough to be a spouse, oh dear, sorry for the word play.

[Kathy]

I definitely think you can wait for too long ... if one partner is waiting years for the other to come around to the idea of marriage, it just might not happen. I definitely don't believe that "all you need is love" - I think you need two people willing to commit their lives to each other. And if one person takes significantly longer than the other ... I'm not sure I'd be willing to wait if I've been ready for years.

[BrightEyes]

it depends on if you are feeling taken for granted and "held back" because of waiting. it also takes honesty with yourself and them, is it a shared value or are they stringing you along? Ultimatums are not cool, but there is nothing wrong with planning your own life and having a date in your head where you no longer wait for them.

i got frustrated with Bart because all his friends were getting engaged and they had been together a shorter time than us, but a lot of it was a little resentment about being Long distance for so long and feeling unappreciated. Once those feelings were resolved and he stopped playing dump and admitted it was on the planning board, I was okay. Granted, he was talking marriage for ages and I knew it would not be until school was done.

[jesmendi]

Marriage is also a big financial commitment and I don't think it should be entered into lightly. SO waiting until you're finished with school or financially stable enough is fine with me. I read somewhere once that If you're not completely financially independent from your parents, then you shouldn't be getting married.

[Christa]

Ultimatums are not cool, but there is nothing wrong with planning your own life and having a date in your head where you no longer wait for them.


That's what I did. I would never have giving him and ultimatum, but I had in my head that if didn't propose by the summer of 2007 I would have to move on.

[Squishypig]

I didn't flat out give James an ultimatum but I did tell him my expectations. About 6 months into our relationship he was telling me about his friend who had been dating his GF for 12 years and I flat out told him that I had no intention of dating someone for more than two years if it wasn't going to lead to marriage. :lol: We are getting married about 2.5 years after meeting.

[*Hiz Princess*]

Honestly, I love Sean but im not in a rush this timee around. I ALMOST don't care if we ever get married. ALMOST.

[jillian]

Yes, but it varies from person to person.

[FutureMrsS]

i personally gave my bf a time line. I wouldnt want to wait forever... but there is going reason to wait awhile and im okay with that if we have a general idea! :)