I need to grin and bear it...

[Mandy]

So, my mom and her best friend have been chatting a lot lately and are hosting my bridal shower. Now, I was fine with this at first, until they started trying to make my shower all raunchy by combining it with my bachlorette party since my mom wont be here for that. Apparently, they're making my shower into a Sex toy party! I am so embarrassed. I have friends coming that I havn't seen in awhile and Chad's family are going to be there! I am SO uncomfortable with having Chad and my's sex life being open court--especially in front of his family! I am so worried. I've tried talking to my mom about it and politly letting her know that I am not really comfortable with this (I'm not a prude or anything--I just believe that a birdal shower isn't the proper forum to be waving dildos around!) but she's stuck on it and just tells me to be gracious about it and polite..which I would do regardless of the event.

I know they didn't need to go out of their way to host a shower for me--I'm very greatful that they thought to do that. I am just really uncomfortable with my sex life being an open court in front of my inlaws. If it were just my friends, I wouldn't be as worried. Any advice? My mom is pretty stubborn...and I think she's using this shower for her more than for me. :sigh:. Any help is appreciated.

[Sk8ermaiden]

This is really unacceptable. If your mom won't listen, go to your MOH...ask her how she would feel in your position, with FH's FAMILY there. If she understands, ask her to help you work on your mom. Tell your MOH and your mom that this can do nothing but make you look bad in his family's eyes. Tell you mother that you really appreciate having this thrown for you, but isn't it supposed to be an event that YOU can enjoy?

If it were just for my friends, or something, then I woul grin and bear it, but it FH's family were invited, I would tell my mom that I would refuse to attend. Period. It's nice of people to throw you a party, but when it becomes sexually inappropriate because of the audience, you're not obligated to be quite as gracious.

[Mandy]

Thank you!! I was worried I was being a brat :(. I feel bad making a stink about it but I am really concerned about how it might look to others. I am not into that stuff anyway. FH's family is pretty open and liberal about that kind of stuff, but I still don't think it's appropriate. I can see that kind of thing for a bachlorette--but a shower?!

[Maria 05]

I would explain how bad I felt to have a ranchy shower actually if that was me I would boycott my own shower.

[Sk8ermaiden]

I could do that for a bachelorette too, but would never for a shower. FH's family is not open about that stuff at all...Plus, you don't want your inlaws knowing the contents of your nightstand drawer! If your mom wants a sex toy party so badly, tell her she could host one for her friends or something?

[Mandy]

I'm going to write my mom an email right now just telling her that this may be a bit inappropriate---especially since Chad's 16 yr old sister is coming! Eeek!

[JerAndKathy]

I've never been to one, but I've heard that most have an 18 or older age limit?

[Maria 05]

under age at a sex toy party no way thats crazy. 18 at least

[Sk8ermaiden]

I'm going to write my mom an email right now just telling her that this may be a bit inappropriate---especially since Chad's 16 yr old sister is coming! Eeek!

Oh HELL no! No No No No, ewwwwww! My lil sis will be almost 15 for my wedding, and that's why all the festivities will be strictly PG-13. If your mom still is insisting after getting that email, it is time to lay down the law in perhaps a less demure way.

[saraw04]

I agree that the sex toy party should be out of the question. I can see if it were just your friends, but having my mom let alone my in-laws there would be too weird! Hopefully your mom will understand that you appreciate her help but that it should go in a different direction.

Sara :)

[Jaci]

I'm going to write my mom an email right now just telling her that this may be a bit inappropriate---especially since Chad's 16 yr old sister is coming! Eeek!

Do you know who is doing the party, what company I mean? I have a contract that needs to be signed by my hostess stating that no one under 18 is allowed even in the same dwelling where the party is going to be hosted, not even infants. If I'm unsure about someone's age, I will ask for ID. It's actually illegal to have anyone under 18 at a sex toy party and the Distributor can get in huge trouble for it.

Here is what I would suggest:

Ask your mom to have a "two-part" shower. Do a sort of open house traditional bridal shower for three hours in the afternoon, making sure to set an end time. Then, two hours later plan to have the sex toy party and that can actually be a sort of bachelorette party. This will give you an hour to get rid of minglers and a half an hour for the Toy Distributor to set up.

Good luck!

[Mandy]

Jaci--that's an awesome idea!! I emailed my mom and she was super nice about it. She said she completly understands and that it wasn't supposed to be something raunchy--I'm not sure what the company was, but it's supposed to be very classy. I told her about a 2 part kinda thing and she said that sounds like a plan--apparently my IL's are not making much more than an appearance at my shower anyway (they sent the RSVP back to my mom saying they may not come--it depends on what comes up). I feel really bad about having to talk to my mom, but she completly understands. She apologized over and over about me being uncomfortable. At least we got it worked out!

[Jaci]

Oh good, I'm so glad to hear that it's working out and your mom understands!

I hope the company is the one I work through, we pride ourselves on being classy (Like I've heard of other companies who give you samples of some of the well, stuff that goes "down there" and you actually put it on "down there" at the party in the bathroom! I was totaly disgusted when I heard that). Sure with my company you get to sample products, but never in a sexual way.

[saraw04]

Sounds like a good idea to me!

Sara :)

[Mandy]

Thank you ladies!! I am SOOOOO happy to have MLW! I don't know where I'd be without you ladies!