Destination Wedding vs. Home Town Wedding...Which is the best choice?

[Amy]

I'm writing this thread under the Stress, Vents, & Frustration section since I'm really stressed about the decision to have either a destination wedding or a wedding in Edmonton, AB (which is where majority of our families live). It turns out that my finance and I are going to be paying for majority of this wedding ourselves and we don't want to have to get a big loan if we don't have to since we are also trying to save enough money to buy a house.

Here are my pros and cons of each choice (so far)...

Home Town (Edmonton)

Pros:
Our grandmothers can come since they most likely won't be able to travel.
It's close enough that we can go in to look at halls, etc., when we need to.

Cons:
It's more expensive than a destination wedding.
It's a one day thing and it's over.

Destination (Mexico, most likely Mayan Riviera)

Pros:
It will save us lots of money.
We will have a week to celebrate and have fun with family and friends.
There are lots of wedding packages to choose from that include a lot of things that I wouldn't have to book or arrange.

Cons:
People we want there might not come; Our grandmothers won't be there.
We have to plan a trip out and look at and book everything at one time since we won't be able to go back before the wedding.

I would really love to hear what everyone opinion on this!

[*meghan*]

This is a tough decision, one that DH and I went through for a while before we decided what to do. We really wanted a destination wedding because it seemed more like us - simple, fun, relaxed. We decided to have our wedding where we live now, which was a destination for all our guests anyways because we don't live in either one of our hometowns. It did make planning easier and we felt it was the best choice for us because we wanted all our family there, and we knew they all wouldn't be able to attend if it was in Mexico or the Caribbean. Ultimately, you and FH need to decide what's best for the both of YOU, not your families or friends. Good luck :)

[Winter_Bride]

ITA with Meghan! We personally chose a hometown wedding (in Edmonton, actually!) because what was most important to us was the guests there to share our day. We knew if we had a destination wedding, our list would have to be cut, and we weren't even sure if family would have been able to travel (for various reasons, including financial). Ultimately we determined that it would be more expensive to have a destination wedding, because we'd have to throw a party afterwards for everyone that couldn't make it.

That being said, you have to decide what's most important to you. If you knew most of your family would be able to be there, then a destination wedding sounds like lots of fun! I like the idea of making it a week-long celebration. And you're right - there are plenty of cheap packages out there. And one trip prior to the wedding would definately be enough time to look at things - keep in mind that the biggest draw for these places is travellers, so they'll probably cater to your schedule in that sense!

Tough decision!! :hug:

FWIW, there are a few of us who got married or are getting married in Edmonton, so if you need ideas for locations or vendors, just ask! :aok:

[lalalola]

Sounds like a hard decision, one big question you have to ask is that will you be dissappointed when you don't have the big wedding (meaning all your friends and family)? I would have loved to have gotten married on the beach cuz we LOVE the beach and its so freakin romantic but I wanted everyone at my wedding and I knew if we had a destination wedding that only a very small percentage of our friends and family would have came. But on the other hand, those people that you love will make the effort to come to your wedding no matter where it is.

Good luck girl, its not going to be an easy decision.

[angie]

Ultimately it's your choice, but if it were me, I would prefer the wedding where the grandmoms could be there. I would miss that over wishing the location was different.

Another thing, I personally couldn't choose a wedding place without seeing it in person first. I had mine local, but almost always the place looked 10 times better online than in person.

[Amy]

Thanks for all the responses so far! From what we've heard most family and friends would come but that's what they say now and I'm afraid when it comes time to book the plane tickets; that's when suddenley no one will have the money or something will come up. I'm thinking what I might do, is price everything out for Edmonton and Mexico (including the party when we get back) and then get a confirmed guest list for each and decide that way.

[Winter_Bride]

That's a great way to decide it! You might find that the difference in cost isn't really that much, or it might be huge! Hopefully it will tip the scales either way a bit for you!

[Deidre98]

We got married in the area where we grew up (DH and I grew up in different cities but both were in the same area of the state) and I don't regret that decision for a minute. So many of our friends and families wouldn't have been able to make it due to traveling and financial constraints and it was important for us to have them there. I know if I had been able to, I would've wanted my grandparents to have been there but both of us lost our grandparents at a young age so that wasn't meant to be.

[hellobethie]

Ok. Pardon the lack of sense if I ramble, I am still sick, but wanted to contribute. So here goes...

I grew up in Edm. I always ALWAYS wanted to get married on the beach....if I got married at all.
I now live in Vancouver, with FH. Who is from SK and his parents are in Saskatoon. We looked at getting married on the beach, in Vancouver and in Edmonton. We had some requirements that have since changed and some requirements that have not. But when we were looking on of the biggies was my gpa. Another of the biggies was the church. FH must get married in a church. That is non negotiable with him. I've known that since the outset. However, you can do that in the Caribbean, you just have to look harder. So we debated and we made lists and in the end decided to debate between here and Edmonton, because here I could still have a beach. However, since I am not a church goer, one of my church requirements was that we got married by someone I know and trust, and that priest is in Edmonton. And as soon as he said he didn't think he would be able to leave our decision became clear. The largest number of benefits (at the time) became clear the more research I did. And our biggest deal breakers became just that-deal breakers. So, I am getting married in a destination wedding in Edmonton, which is not without it's frustrations and sacrifices, and it is definitely NOT cheaper for us. But it ticked enough of the boxes and we will be surrounded by the people that we love, and I was finally starting to get excited about it as our RSVPs pour in (now I am sick and just falling behind, but what can you do!!)

My point in all that rambling, is do some research on all options. It's more work in the short term, but things that you didn't expect may become clearer.

Then remember it's about you, but if a big part of you are those you love, then whether they can be there is also important. (That came out sounding not quite right, I hope you know what I mean).

[~*Kate*~]

From what we've heard most family and friends would come but that's what they say now and I'm afraid when it comes time to book the plane tickets; that's when suddenley no one will have the money or something will come up.

This happened to us quite a bit, with friends from college who lived within driving distance of our wedding site. I can only imagine the excuses we would have heard if plane tickets had been required. :lol:

[Maria 05]

The main problem with a destination wedding is as a guest trying to book the time off. You are looking at more than one day usually and trying to make it into a holiday. It can be beautiful but my friend got married out in Australia. I would love to go but the plane tickets were hugely expensive even some of the bride's immediate family could not afford to fly out.

For me the wedding day was about my family. I wanted my family and friends there. Also planning a LD wedding can be a headache more than a home town wedding because you just can't pop over to the venue if something goes wrong.

[km]

I personally love destination weddings, but you have to decide yourself what is more important to you , grandparents attending, or saving money. I don't think it would be a problem deciding

[Amy]

Thanks everyone! You are all definetely making me think about this more (which is a good thing) since there are some stuff that I overlooked and that my husband-to-be and I will need to look into and discuss! I'll let everyone know the final decision once it's made. (Which might be a while yet, lol!)

[Amy]

Ok, it's been decided! We are getting married in Mexico in February 2010 and will have a reception in either Edmonton or Edson a few weeks after we get back.

[Trinia]

:thumbsup: We will be there!