Sister Not Coming, Parents Being Annoying About It

[nikkiana]

My older half-sister (my father's daughter) isn't coming to the wedding because she has a family event with the other side of her family that's out of state that she's been helping plan.... I'm not terribly close to her, I didn't really make the date all that clear to her from the beginning because I rarely ever talk to her, so I'm not really upset at all that she's not coming.

What is annoying is some of the comments that my parents have been making in regard to it... My half-sister is one of those people who gets extremely snotty when things don't go the way she thinks they should and won't talk to you for five years if you're involved. My parents seem to think her not coming is just her being snotty and not wanting to go because she's either A. mad that I didn't ask her to be part of the wedding party or B. mad that she's not going to be center of attention.... While I think she's fully capable of being mad over that sort of thing, I honestly don't think she's skipping town because she's mad at me for not including her or for not being center of attention... I think she just made plans to do something else not really thinking about the fact that I had said that we were probably going to have the wedding in August.

[JerAndKathy]

So just tell yer folks that..."Feel however you feel, but I'm not terribly concerned over it. She has every right to attend family functions with her own family. I don't feel my event is better than theirs, or that theirs is better than mine. She made a decision based on what's important to her, and I'm fine with it."

It comes down to the fact that...You can't help how they feel, just make it plain & clear how you feel, and that you'd prefer not to hear them putting this person down for her decision. :)

[destinationbride07]

i agree with Jer and Kathy..she is not doing intentionally right? so try and explain to your parents..

[nikkiana]

I've tried, and they aren't listening! Or at least, my mother isn't.... I realize that my half-sister isn't always the most sane rational person nor is she the easiest person to like, but it seems like my mother's just using it as an excuse to dislike her more than she already does.

[carolinalady67]

Since you can't change how your parents feel, just make sure your sister knows you are not upset with her and understand her not being there. In the end that is all that you can control.

[nikkiana]

Well, my parents have now somewhat gotten over it... Or at least it seems, and now my cousins are upset and once of them is threatening to call her and give them a hard time.... Sigh.

[Maria 05]

:hammer::hammer: nikki I am so sorry you are going through this this no advice just:hug99:

[nikkiana]

:hammer::hammer: nikki I am so sorry you are going through this this no advice just:hug99:

Thanks, Maria. What kinda sucks about my cousins threatening to call her is the fact that she's liable to think I put them up to it despite the fact that their doing it of their own volition and then get irrationally pissed off at ME.

[JerAndKathy]

So call her and tell her - you have no problem with her decision. But, other people are being stupid about it, and you just want her to know that anything that may be said, etc...Is not on you. You can't control what other people do. :)

[Cindy]

I agree with Kathy. Call her before someone else does. Sounds like you have some family members that thrive on other people's misery/lives. :)

[Maria 05]

and after you ring your sister whack your cousins with my hammer
:hammer:

[MsJessica07]

I like that plan :)

[SueMartin]

Ring her before those idiots do.. tell her you are not upset with her, but you cant guarantee any one else isnt.. then tell them to butt out.

[lunarmagic]

Man, parents can overract so badly sometimes. I hope your sister doesn't get mad at you. Like the others said, just tell her you're not mad.

[nikkiana]

Well, she's coming to the shower today. :) So, at least I'll get to see her.

[*Diane*]

Nikkiana, do we have the same family? :nono: I feel your pain! How was your shower?

[nikkiana]

Nikkiana, do we have the same family? :nono: I feel your pain! How was your shower?

It was great! Don't think my cousins actually called to hassle my sister.... She seemed in lively spirit. :D

[*Diane*]

So you will be posting pics from your shower? :)

[nikkiana]

So you will be posting pics from your shower? :)

Yep. There's some up in my journal (http://www.mustloveweddings.com/forums/showthread.php?t=303&page=6).

[Naima]

:aok: I second the hammer.