Starting to wonder

[PurpleFlower]

I am starting to wonder if I picked the wrong people to be in my wedding party! We haven't talked with eachother in a good month or so. Then I run into one at a store and she almost seemed upset with my talk about the wedding... and then the next day I called her to see if she wants to go run some errands with me (that have to do with the wedding) she says no she would rather hang around the house. I haven't heard from the other BM and my MOH lives with me so she at least knows what is kinda going on.

Anyway anyone else have BP like this? If so did they eventually kick in and help or was it just a pain all the way though?

[Mandy]

Well I'm not married yet, but I have the exact same thing going on with my BP. I have one MOH who's amazing, then the rest of my BP is pretty non-existant. They have until the end of the month to buy their dresses or they're out of the wedding (they've had at least a year to purchase the dress...now it's in danger of being discontinued!)--so hopefully something happens soon! Good luck and I hope things get better soon! :hug:

[*meghan*]

They may feel that they aren't really needed right now since you still have 10 months until your wedding. Mine are just NOW getting in gear with helping me with stuff, and I've only got 3 months to go. Give it some time - if you need help with things the closer it gets to the wedding and they still won't help out or acknowledge the wedding, a good kick in the rear might help :D

[PurpleFlower]

I know I have a lot of time but at the same time my goal is to have most things set/done by the time school starts. This way I really don't have to worry about it. I guess we will see!

[njbride06]

It's kinda hard to understand at first, but if you have BP that isn't married and hasn't been thru the wedding thing, they aren't going to understand why you are doing things so much in advance. My BMs were informed the whole time and I didn't really rely on them to help me with anything, as long as they took care of their dress stuff, which they did. Unfortunately, just b/c your life revolves around your wedding, no one else's does!! Don't feel bad, we all go thru it. But you'll find that getting things done yourself is a lot easier and quicker than trying to fill someone in on your vision anyway. Good luck! Hopefully they will come around more as it gets closer.

[PurpleFlower]

thanks it is just kinda sad that they aren't really interested at all! I thought I had picked people that would help me and be interested. My coworkers are waaayy more interested in how my plans are going than my BP!!I guess it just made me sad!

[nikkiana]

It's kinda hard to understand at first, but if you have BP that isn't married and hasn't been thru the wedding thing, they aren't going to understand why you are doing things so much in advance.

This is very true from my experience... My BMs were quite frankly baffled when I started planning stuff a year and advance (granted, they were unable to help anyway because I was in the States and they were in Europe....) and often times I didn't hear from them for weeks at a time....

[jillian]

I had this problem too a few months ago. I felt that they were brushing everything off and I have some that were married before. Now it seems that everyone is offering advice and help. Just today one of my BMs called me to see how planning was going and offered a ton of advice (she was married in 2004).

Some times it's hard to remember that while our wedding is our life it's not our BMs or MOHs. I wouldn't have brought up wedding plans if I ran into a BM in the store instead I would just mention that I have a lot to talk about and will call her later about it. But I don't know how your conversation went with her so I'm not really saying anything about that.

This is something my friend did while planning her wedding (she was the first to get married). Invite them over for a girls night - movies, gossip, cocktails - and casually mention your wedding or leave your books out, most likely they will be looked at. Also take that opportunity to explain to them that you want to get a lot done before xxxx date.

And give them the benefit of the doubt, they'll come around.

[PurpleFlower]

You girls are right. And I try really hard not to talk to much about wedding stuff around people because even though it is my life right now it isn't really big in theirs and can get hard for them to listen to all the time. I sometimes have to stop myself when they do ask though it is like the flood gates open and everything comes out! I try to get all of my wedding chat out on here because you girls are here for the same thing! Which is GREAT!!

[yodaling]

Such a bummer! That is why I haven't chose yet. I'm sure it is hard when you are reeeeaaallly excited and they aren't as excited.

[Andrea]

WOW...i dunno what to say hun...im not married yet and ive only ever been in one wedding, in 3 this year...so anyways, the one i was in last year, we grew up since grade 4 together. always been friends, but we kinda went out seperate ways after school, although we kept in slight contact, because i was her only "friend" in support of her and her fiancee (shes 22 hes 37)