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Raychel
08-07-2008, 12:55 PM
Don't Be Fashionably Late As the song says, get to the church on time! Allow enough time to get to there 15 minutes early or more no matter what weather, traffic, or other acts of divine intervention pop up. Print out directions to both the ceremony and the reception (if it's at a different location). Many a wedding has been hampered by guests who got lost and showed up an hour late.
Don't Produce Sound Effects While at a wedding and reception, turn off your Blackberries and cell phones, put them on vibrate, or better yet, don't even take them!
Don't Talk Trash It may sound obvious, but it happens all the time. No matter how big or how loud a wedding is, things get overheard. So, be on your best and most polite behavior. No gossip about any of the other guests. No complaining out loud about anything -- whether it's the food or the long line at the ladies' room. And no comparisons to other weddings! As far as the bride and groom are concerned, this is a perfect day, and so it should be!
Don't Come Bearing Gifts Whether you're planning on gifting the happy couple a Cuisinart or cold hard cash, do them a huge favor and don't bring it on the wedding day. If you do, they have to keep track of it and haul it home at the end of the night. Send the gift ahead of time, or after the actual ceremony -- at a time when they can really relax and enjoy it.
Don't Dress Down Whatever you choose to wear, make the effort to look your best for the bride and groom. They'll appreciate that you got dolled or duded up for the occasion. If the invitation doesn't specify dress code, put in a friendly email or call to the bride, groom, their parents, or attendants to get more info. Black Tie means you've got to dust off that long silk dress or rent a tux. If it's an outdoor affair, there may be more leeway, but get details on the location, so you can come prepared (because it's isn't fun to be traipsing around in the sand in your stilettos!).
Don't Bring Mr. or Ms. Random If you're single, choose your date carefully. If it's someone you've only been out with once, it may not be the best idea (could be awkward for you, your date, and the newlyweds). Same if it's someone you recently "sort of" broke up with. Weddings are intimate affairs and bringing in a stranger should be done with thought. Let the bride or groom know if you decide to come alone so they can seat you with other fun "ones!" And as much as you may love your kiddos, don't take them if children aren't invited.
Don't Steal the Show Wedding ceremonies take all forms -- from religious to poetic, musical, or humorous. Whatever the vibe, let the bride and groom set the tone and follow their lead. If you're normally a loud, life-of-the-party type, bring it down a notch and let the wedding couple stand out. If you're a weeper, bring tissues and sit where you can sob without disturbing the I Do's. If the ceremony includes religious rituals, find out what you should do (or not do) ahead of time.
Don't Pig Out If food is serve-yourself, avoid the buffet line stampede and wait until the crowd dies down. Also, avoid going back for thirds. Take a break and save room for cake! Seconds might be okay, once you've seen that everyone has eaten. If the food is served sit-down, eat what is served without requesting substitutions or omissions, unless you have a food allergy. Otherwise, pick delicately or chow down, but don't gripe that you "don't like fish." Worse comes to worst, you can hit Burger King on the way home!
Don't Drag Out Skeletons If the bride blushes, it should be from pride, joy, or sheer love. Not because someone just stood up and told a humiliating story about the loser she dated in high school! Ingratiate yourself to the lady and her groom by avoiding any potentially embarrassing or juvenile behavior -- no bawdy jokes, no tales about their dating habits or exploits, no overdrinking, and no overly sexy dancing. Have fun, but don't have it at anyone else's expense.
Don't Stockpile Party Favors At the end of the night, as you're saying your thank-yous and farewells, avoid the urge to hog all the super-cool (or yummy) party favors! You don't need to take some for people who weren't able to attend. You don't need extras. Take one for yourself, unless someone in the wedding party urges you to do otherwise.
Thoughts?

Deidre98
08-07-2008, 01:04 PM
To me, it makes perfect sense. A wedding is supposed to be about celebrating the couple, not about you so just sit back, relax, and enjoy yourself!

*Diane*
08-07-2008, 07:38 PM
:yesyes: to all of those and add

Don't assume the centerpieces are for you to take home. The family might have plans for them. The vases might belong to the wedding planner. The couple might want to save all the rose petals and make their own wedding memory potpourri.

BrightEyes
08-08-2008, 07:00 AM
Well said

Add:

Don't complain about how in your family is or is not invited and try to guilt people into inviting them, the bride and groom may not have room for your niece and babysitter and it is rude to push. If its that big of a deal, don't come.

*Ashley*
08-08-2008, 08:32 AM
Don't tell the groom your mother is rolling over in her grave because he's marrying the bride and not you ;)

Don't bring an "and guest" if you weren't and guested! And if you're rude enough to do that, then refer to Mr. or Ms. Random rule (same person)

(sorry, but still to this day the audacity of the girl baffles me)

Venus
08-08-2008, 01:21 PM
Never ask to announce someone else's occasion i.e. happy bday etc.

Jaime
08-08-2008, 11:07 PM
If you are in the wedding party do not destroy your dress/suit the day before the wedding. It will only piss off the bride's MIL :hehe:

Winter_Bride
08-11-2008, 12:01 PM
I agree with the inital post, as well as the additions!! If children aren't specified, call the couple well before the wedding to check, and if they aren't invited, either find a babysitter, or decline the invitation. Maybe they don't have the room, maybe the want the wedding to be children-free.

km
08-12-2008, 09:19 AM
good list.................................yes indeed

jillian
08-12-2008, 09:51 AM
Don't tell the groom your mother is rolling over in her grave because he's marrying the bride and not you ;)

Don't bring an "and guest" if you weren't and guested! And if you're rude enough to do that, then refer to Mr. or Ms. Random rule (same person)

(sorry, but still to this day the audacity of the girl baffles me)I'm still shocked that girl had the balls to say that. Who says that?

Amy
08-15-2008, 10:26 PM
All very good points!!!

Amanda&Hugo
08-16-2008, 06:56 AM
I agree with the not stockpiling the favors... ditto to the cake... unless there is extra and the bride specifically invites you to. Why do people think they have to bring something home for the people who weren't invited???

Amy
08-16-2008, 04:31 PM
I also think that guests shouldn't wear white outfits, a little white is okay but a full out white outfit is just rude in my opinion.

*Ashley*
08-18-2008, 05:20 PM
I'm still shocked that girl had the balls to say that. Who says that?

Mr. Ed (that is her nickname, for obviouis reasons when she opens her mouth)

Yeah it's pretty sad. I feel sorry for her.

~Sherry~
08-18-2008, 05:35 PM
I like it! :lol: That is all. Carry on.

MemphisMom
06-28-2009, 09:58 AM
Arrive at the ceremony site early! Most weddings begin seating at 30 minutes prior and plan lovely prelude music for the guests. Family and wedding party will begin to assemble 10 minutes prior and a throng of guests at the door all trying to be seated makes it hard to get the wedding started on time.

I am a wedding coordinator at my church and this seems to be a big problem especially with the college age crowd... People want to visit in the narthex and we have to shoo them into the church...The reception is the social time, not the ceremony!

Mimzy
07-11-2009, 11:27 PM
Really wonderful list. Wonder if it should be added to the invites :lightbulb: :lol: Yes - I am joking but sometime it can seem necessary. Sad. You put together a great bunch of ideas!

-->Kat<--
02-13-2012, 03:27 PM
Only thing I don't agree with is the gift / money thing. If you want to bring us something, we will welcome it with open arms! :pointlaugh:

Otherwise it should be stated on the invite "Please no gifts"