Sharing a wedding date with a co worker

[MalibuStacy1982]

Since choosing our venue (although we have yet to go sign a contract) i've discovered a co worker of mine has the same date. This kind of makes me feel a little guilty. I dont *think* she's upset (i've told her we're date buddies) but the more i think about it the more i'm kind of getting a little uneasy about it. While i'd like to keep our wedding list as low as possible there are certian co woker's i do want there and i know will show up. But then there are those that i know expect to be invited but i hadnt planned to. How do i get around that awkwardness?! One specifically being my boss. I dont like the woman and dont want her to share in my special day. In fact, i dont want to invite anyone in my department. How sad is that?! I realize i should send invites to those peoples homes directly which is fine, but still who do i decide not to invite and who to invite, who is she going to invite?! Should i just invited who i want and not worry about it?!

[carolinalady67]

I am a firm believer in inviting those you are closest with and want there on your special day. Not those you feel you have to invite. Stick to those at work you are socially close with. And maybe the other co-worker with the same wedding date takes some of the heat off of you. Because there are going to be those who have hurt feelings, but I wouldn't worry about them.

[KelciAlexandra]

plain and simple you dont have room for them. it doesn't matter whether your venue can hold another 50+, as long as you are not willing to pay for someone you dont want at your wedding that means there is not enough room for them. you don't have to tell them the details of WHY theres not enough room, usually saying youre keeping it intimate or small is enough of an explanation.

[Renny]

I personally think if you aren't close to them then they shouldn't be surprised not to get the invite in the mail. I know it's been odd to me to get an invite from someone I hardly talk to or haven't in years, it make me think they are only inviting me for the gift and turn down the invite anyways.
Just don't lead anyone on with the belief they are getting an invite and dont.

That's my view of it.


ohhhh and the co-worker with the same date shouldn't bother you....

[*Jenn*]

i thought that you were going to say that you were worried because you'd both be taking off at the same time.

but for the situation you have, i say only invite the people that you interact with on a social level, not those you only talk business with. if you get anyone wondering why they didn't get an invite, just explain to them that it is going to be an intimate ceremony, or family only.

[MalibuStacy1982]

i say only invite the people that you interact with on a social level, not those you only talk business with.

I swear i'm not trying to be difficult but this poses a problem too, i interact with just about everyone socially, i am, afterall, the receptionist. Just about everyone here comes and has a social converation with me on a daily basis. haha I'm way to social and nice! Its coming back to bite me now! But i think everyone is right, i'll only invite those i'm absolutely closest with and if they get offended let them know family comes first and we come from big families...which isnt entirely a lie. I also think i should at least invite my bosses. Isnt that customary? and polite?

[Jaime]

I don't think it is customary to invite your boss. I have never heard of that. DH did not invite his boss. I did invite mine because I was a Nanny in someone's home, so I was really close to the family and knew them far better than DH knew his boss.

[MsJessica07]

I would say it would be good politics to invite your boss. I know my dad got invited to his receptionists wedding, and I think it's a good move. If you're not close, she/he most likely won't come. Plus, you probably don't want to not invite her/him if your other coworker who is getting married that day is!

[KelciAlexandra]

i havent had my wedding yet but from what i've heard if you do invite your boss or anyone else your not to particular on its not like they're going to be following you around the whole time. its going to be one of the most important day of your life and you're not going to have time to worry about someone being there you dont love... does that make sense? i dont know if i explained that very well...

[lalalola]

I wouldn't worry about inviting your boss or any other coworkers. My tip on deciding who to invite would be: would you invite that coworker over to your house for a meal?

[MalibuStacy1982]

oye....definatly not. haha! I pretty much cant stand any of the people in my department.

[BASIA]

I on the other hand would definitely invite my boss. My Dh invited all his bosses/supervisors and I invited mine. It just like that in my circle. Other coworkers I just told I didnt have the space for many more people and the all understood.

[km]

:computer:

Inviting only select coworkers you also consider friends is easier in a large, corporate office, where most of your colleagues don't expect to be invited. Sometimes it's more difficult in a close-knit office, where you're all chatting with each other all day (and you're telling people about your wedding plans!). That said, you don't have to invite each and every coworker to your wedding, and you certainly don't have to invite anyone you don't want there, coworker or not.

Just be very tactful about inviting the colleagues you do want. Send the invites to their homes -- don't bring them to the office -- and let them know that you would rather they didn't talk about it at work out of courtesy to those you didn't invite. Depending on how you think the uninvited coworkers will react, you might want to prepare yourself; if anyone confronts you about not being invited, you can always fall back on "Our guest list was getting out of control" or "We could only afford to invite so many people" if you feel you need to. Okay, so maybe things will be a bit tense around the office for a while. But you shouldn't feel bad or guilty. It's your wedding, and you create your guest list.

First of all, keep in mind that you're never required to invite anyone. It is a nice gesture to invite your respective bosses, especially if you have good relationships with them. And there is always the chance that he/she won't come, especially if he/she doesn't know you guys very well personally and it's a large, impersonal office. This may be harder to get around in a small, chummy workplace.
:wavey:

[*Ashley*]

I invited my two bosses (only one now) and one came to the ceremony, the other did not but sent a gift. I invited them because I actually wanted them there -- not because of a courtesy invite, so I can't put myself in your situation. I would give your boss a courtesy invite, honestly. She won't come, and at the very least she'll send a gift.

I wouldn't give another thought to your co-workers in your department. You don't want to invite them, they're not invited. Simple as that :) I invited my close friend (she was a BM, so uh, yeah), and two other close friends I work with. I'm still very good friends with two of them, and another who started at the firm so late that we were close enough at her wedding or mine but both wish we were now, and the other I don't talk to as much since she left the firm but I'm still glad she was there :)