Kids.

[thefuturemrsgoss]

Can i please pull my hair out? please?

My FMIL, who freaked out when I got pregnant, and actually SMILED when i miscarried, is crazy. Straight up.

A little while ago, she informed me and Ben that she sees no need for a lingerie shower, cause "ya'll won't be having kids for 3 or 4 or 5 years anyway" and practically bit Ben's head off for commenting "a bit sooner than that"

Isn't it my choice if come June 13, off comes the birth control? not hers? she's had her kids, now its my turn!!!!!!!!:tearhair::girlfight:

[Winter_Bride]

Oh my goodness!! :glomp: I'm so sorry you're dealing with that :(

[carolinalady67]

Wow, first off I'm sorry. When or if a couple have children is up to them not anyone else. But I also have to wonder what having a lingerie shower or not has to do with when you plan on having children. Can you only wear lingerie if you are trying to get pregnant?

[Winter_Bride]

Can you only wear lingerie if you are trying to get pregnant?

Yup. The law was passed in the early 1900's... :giggle:

[MsJessica07]

Seriously...does she think you won't have sex because you're not trying to have children? Is that how it works in her family?!? That might explain her attitude/crankyness :teehee:

She has no right to put any kind of pressure on you and as long as you guys can be self-sufficient when you have kids (i.e. not depending on her, in particular) she has no right to say anything about it.

[Maria 05]

Oh my God that woman is a cow! I am so sorry to hear of your loss. Seriously that woman needs to be hit over the head with a hammer --its ok there is nothing up there so I wont do any damage.
:hammer2:
:hammer2:
:hammer2:
:hammer2:
:hammer2:
:hammer2:

[thefuturemrsgoss]

But I also have to wonder what having a lingerie shower or not has to do with when you plan on having children. Can you only wear lingerie if you are trying to get pregnant?

Thank you. my point exactly. I was beginning to think I was the one messed up in the head. Excuse me, but lady? you don't need lingerie to have sex. It's just a nice gesture. :gaah:

[*Ashley*]

She's straight up crazy, and so is your SIL.

[SueMartin]

some poeple just have no people skills.. and as for manners.. it isnt up to HER when you try for children...how rude!

[thefuturemrsgoss]

update on the FMIL situation: my FMIL officially got a wild hair up her booty yesterday and is throwing a fit. She always, always always pulls the line "You two are lying to me and daddy and we don't appreciate it. We deserve nothing but the truth." Though I have yet to find out what we're lying about. Ben says that two nights ago, she told him she thinks I'm pregnant again and we're "just not telling her". Um? To my direct knowledge? Not pregnant again. Seriously.

Second of all, I'm WAYYYY too jealous, she told him. If he sees any of his girl friends, I have to be around him, and that's "just not right". Um? No, I don't HAVE to be, I just always am? Because I'm his fiance? Maybe? And second, Ben cheated on me a while back, not even a year ago. I mean, I think I have a right to be a tinsy bit jealous, even though he is a completely different person now.

She told Ben I'm whiny and I fuss too much. And that I demand too much of his time. I was like WHOOOA. stop right there. she and his daddy are building an indoor shooting range and Ben has been out there EVERY DAY after work till 9-10 o'clock at night, and then on Fridays, Saturdays, and Sundays as well, often from 7 AM till dark. or later. And he hasn't missed a day in like 6 months. Since JUNE. We haven't had alone time since JUNE!

Often when we go eat, his daddy or his mama or both will show up and sit down with us. And then Friday night, We left the range at 6:30, went and showered and changed, then went and ate chinese just the two of us. We were heading to go have "adult time" around 9:15 when he got a msg from his mama "Ya'll come eat at cracker barrell with me" and he said we've already ate mom, and she replied back, "well come sit with me while I eat then. Your daddy said you need to, I don't wanna be alone."


OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm thisclose to telling him "the wedding is off till your MOTHER croaks."

sigh.

[thefuturemrsgoss]

And if i get compared to his stupid, idiot brother's "first wife" one more time, I'm gonna scream. Every peice of assholic remarks coming from her often ends with "well chris and heather-----" or even "i just don't want to see ya'll in divorce court like chris and heather.". Sorry. I forgot that part.

[jillian]

Wow your FMIL is a piece of work. Some one's having issues letting her boy go.

[MsJessica07]

I would tell your FH that he needs to set some boundaries because this is BAD for your relationship and SHE is being unreasonable NOT YOU.

[*Ashley*]

I would tell your FH that he needs to set some boundaries because this is BAD for your relationship and SHE is being unreasonable NOT YOU.

Ditto, Jessica is completely right.

This is not going to get better when you get married. You need to set boundaries now.

[BizBis]

My MIL is seriously the most self centered person I have ever met. Until now. She wasn't thrilled about me getting pregnant again and even rolled her eyes a few times when I had morning sickness, but SMILING when you miscarried?!?! That woman needs to be checked into a mental hospital. She also needs to stop being jealous OF YOU. And if she is this needy now, sweetie, I hate to tell you, it really does only get worse. Either sit the woman down and inform her (I think at this point discussion is beyond her) that she needs to back down and back out of YOUR relationship. It seems no one will ever be good enough for this woman. It could be Mother Teresa and she would probably call her frigid. She will always be this way if you and your FH don't do something. I don't blame you for not wanting to be a part of their family. Hell, I'm three hours away from mine and she STILL calls DH about 5 times a week to ask him to come do something for her *insert whiney nasal ignorant voice there*. If he says no (which he usually does b/c, hello, we live three hours away!), she pouts and then calls me to b!tch at me b/c its my fault. I wish I could tell you what to do other than nip it in the butt now. :glomp: If you ever need to just seriously yell and vent and get it all out, feel free to PM me ANYTIME. I am totally here for you sweetie!

[BrightEyes]

Repeat after me: "Our fertility and sex life is none of your business"

Now have your FH repeat after you: "Our fertility and sex life is none of your business"

It's about telling them that the "truth" is not their right. That they are not entitled to know everything, and omitting things that are rightfully private is not lying- and they need to back off.

My ILs tried that with an aspect or two of our relationship and we had a sit down with them about what is their business and what is not. It helped. A lot.

[thefuturemrsgoss]

It kills me to think that this woman is both so opposed to me in general, and to me having a baby. Ben and I have decided to wait till we get married to have kids, or to try again, but lately I'm having a serious count of baby fever. It's pretty bad. And it hurts me to know that there is somebody in this world so morally opposed to me having a baby. Am i crazy for feeling that way?

[BizBis]

Not at all. That woman is crazy!!!!

[*Ashley*]

Not at all. That woman is crazy!!!!

Ditto. And your FH needs to tell this woman where the boundaries are or your marriage will not last, because you will not be able to handle it.

I'm sorry :( She is insane.

[*Diane*]

This situation won't get better until your FH tells her how the cow is going to eat the cabbage. She is pulling these guilt strings because she can. He lets her do it and until that changes, nothing else will. He has to choose, honey- you or her. Sorry to be so blunt but that is my honest to God opinion on it. :bighug:

[Bridget]

Did you go to Cracker Barrel when she asked you to come keep her company when she ate?

[km]

buy her needlepoint, she needs a hobbie.................

[thefuturemrsgoss]

Yep, Bridget, we sure did. I asked for a guest list-not even addresses, just names-so i can order chairs, the deposit is due the 5th. She's known SINCE AUGUST it was due! OMG! And yesterday she imformed me, well, just put me down for 20-30 invitations, i don't have time to team with you

[BizBis]

B!tch!

[km]

I think I would highly recommend a good therapist for her.

[*Ashley*]

I think I would highly recommend a good therapist for her.

:word: