Share the history behind wedding traditions!

[*Stacie*]

Do you know of any tradition that we do and the history behind it? Example - the tosing of the garter? Why we have bridesmaids? Etc.

Share them here

[*Stacie*]

The Best Man
Many centuries ago, before the women's rights movement, men who had decided upon a wife often had to forcefully take her with him (or kidnap her) if her family did not approve of him. The tradition of a "best man" probably has its origin with the Germanic Goths, when it was customary and preferable for a man to marry a woman from within his own community. When women came into short supply "locally," eligible bachelors would have to seek out and capture a bride from a neighboring community. As you might guess this was not a one-person operation, and so the future bridegroom would be accompanied by a male companion who would help. Our custom of the best man is a throwback to that two-man, strong-armed tactic, for, of course the future groom would select only the best man he knew to come long for such an important task.

The role of the best man evolved. By 200 AD his task was still more than just safeguarding the ring. There remained a real threat that the bride's family would attempt to obtain her return forcibly, so the best man remained at the groom's side throughout the marriage ceremony, alert and well-armed. He continued his duties after the ceremony by standing guard as sentry outside the newlywed's home. Much of this is German folklore, but is not without written documentation and physical artifacts. We have records that indicate that beneath the altars of many churches of early peoples (the Huns, Goths, Visigoths, and Vandals) there lay an arsenal of clubs, knives, and spears. The indication is that these were there to protect the groom from possible attack by the bride's family in an attempt to recapture her.

Traditionally, the bride stands to the left side of the groom. This was much more than meaningless etiquette. Among the Northern European barbarians (a name given to them by the Romans), a groom placed his captured bride to his left to protect her, as he kept his right hand free to use for defense. Also originating from this practice of abduction, which literally swept a bride off her feet, sprang the later symbolic act of carrying the bride across the threshold of her new home. It may well be that even the honeymoon had its origin with this capture scenario. It may well have served as a cooling-off period for the bride's family. It was the groom's hope that when the newlyweds returned from their honeymoon that all would be forgiven.

[KathyandJer]

I was just coming in here to post this great information I just found on this website and saw this thread - how perfect!

Wedding Customs and Wedding Traditions

© 2000, by Rose Smith

Modern wedding customs and traditions have their origins in the past, many coming from the Middle Ages. The following explanations of these wedding customs will provide you with a better understanding of why we perform certain "rituals" in regards to weddings.

Tie the Knot
In ancient Rome, the bride wore a girdle fastened with many tiny knots. The groom had the pleasure of untying all those knots before he could bed his new wife.

Engagement Rings
The giving of an "engagement" ring was first practiced when the groom "purchased" his bride. By giving a token, such as a ring, he pledged to marry her in return for her dowry and social status, among other things. The tradition of giving a diamond began with the Italians. It was believed that diamonds were created from the "flames of love" and represented everlasting love.

What Kind of Bride?
A January bride will be a prudent housekeeper, and very good tempered.
A February bride will be an affectionate wife, And a tender mother.
A March bride will be a frivolous catterbox, Somewhat given to quarreling.
An April bride will be inconsistent, or forceful, But well-meaning.
A May bride will be handsome, agreeable, And practical.
A June bride will be impetuous, And generous.
A July bride will be handsome, But a trifle quick-tempered.
An August bride will be agreeable, And practical as well.
A September bride will be discreet, affable, And much liked.
An October bride will be pretty, coquettish, Loving but jealous.
A November bride will be liberal and kind, But sometimes cold.
A December bride will be fond of novelty, Entertaining but extravagant.

White Wedding Dress
Up until the 1400's, the bride usually wore her best dress regardless of the color. It was Queen Victoria (1840) who began the present day fashion of wearing white as the wedding dress. It is also considered unlucky for the bride to make her own wedding dress.

Married in White, you have chosen right,
Married in Blue, your love will always be true,
Married in Pearl, you will live in a whirl,
Married in Brown, you will live in town,
Married in Red, you will wish yourself dead,
Married in Yellow, ashamed of your fellow,
Married in Green, ashamed to be seen,
Married in Pink, your spirit will sink,
Married in Grey, you will go far away,
Married in Black, you will wish yourself back.

Something Old, Something New...
Everyone has heard the following rhyme:

Something old, something new
Something borrowed, something blue
And a silver sixpence in your shoe.


Something old signifies the life you had with friends and family previous to the marriage.


Something new signifies your future life with your new mate.


Something borrowed was usually something borrowed from a happy former bride to ensure the current bride's happiness, and which is later returned.


Something blue represents the bride's purity and faithfulness (this comes from the Jewish tradition where the bride wear's blue to represent fidelity).


The silver sixpence in the shoe is to ensure wealth to the couple in their married life (most people now opt to put a penny in their shoe).

Cans Tied To The Bumper
Back in the Middle Ages, it was traditional for people to bang pots, ring cowbells and generally make a lot of discordant noise after the ceremony to ward off evil spirits. In modern history, it became traditional to tie tin cans to the bumper in reflection of this old practice.

Tossing The Garter
It used to be customary for the bride to remove her stocking garter and toss it to the men. However, as the men at that time tended to get rather drunk and rowdy, they would often grow impatient and proceed to remove the garter themselves. As you can imagine, this was not fun for the bride at all and could get quite nasty. Eventually, one bride got the brilliant idea to toss her bridal bouquet to the women instead...and much safer.

Engagement Rings
The giving of an "engagement" ring was first practiced when the groom "purchased" his bride. By giving a token, such as a ring, he pledged to marry her in return for her dowry and social status, among other things. The tradition of giving a diamond began with the Italians. It was believed that diamonds were created from the "flames of love" and represented everlasting love.

Wedding Bands
The ancient Egyptians began the practice of wearing a wedding band. It was a symbol of unending love, since the ring has no beginning and no end. Giving a wedding band of gold represented purity. In medieval England, the practice of wearing the ring on the third finger of the left hand was because of the belief that the veins in the left hand led directly to the heart. By wearing the ring on this finger, the couple were "joined at the heart."

[KathyandJer]

And here's the rest of the article - thankfully it's not ME personally that's long-winded

Stag or Bachelor Parties
These rowdy parties were the invention of the Spartan Soldiers. It became customary for the groom to feast with his friends the night before the wedding, often celebrating his last night of freedom by getting severely drunk (not much has changed it seems). In modern times, women have decided they also want their night of fun, so now it is traditional for women to have Stagette or Bachelorette parties as well.

Bridal Shower
The bride's friends would gather together to help prepare the bride for her wedding. Often, they would bring a small gift. It became popular in the 1800's to place these gifts in a parasol and then open the parasol over the bride's head, "showering" her with these gifts.

Another story on this tradition states that a Dutch maiden wished to marry a poor miller's son. Her father did not approve of the match, as it was beneath her station and he refused to provide a dowry. In turn, the bride's friends felt sorry for her, so they gathered together and "showered" her with many gifts so she would have a dowry to start her new home.

The Wedding Veil
In addition to the groom not being allowed to see the bride before the ceremony, the veil was also used to protect the bride from being seen by evil spirits and jealous suitors (the one and the same perhaps?). To this day, it is considered bad luck for the groom to see the bride on her wedding day before the ceremony.

Tying Shoes To The Bumper of a Car
There are several different customs that are referenced to shoes. In ancient Egypt, the bride's father would hand her sandals to the groom, indicating that she now belonged to him.

In medieval England, it became popular for the people to throw their shoes at the bridal couple (why people would think to do this, for whatever the reason, is beyond me). It was considered lucky if the shoes hit the couple or their carriage.

In our modern day society, we just elect to tie the shoes to the bumper, which is a much wiser choice!

Cloudy or Sunny Day
There are several superstitions about how the weather will affect the couple's life on the day of the marriage. Keep in mind, these are just superstitions.

Should the day be cloudy and rainy, it signifies that the marriage will be stormy. Should the day be sunny, the couple will have a bright future. Should it rain in the morning and be sunny in the afternoon, it will bring luck to the couple.

The Day and Month To Wed
Believe it or not, there were also superstitions on the day and month that a couple wed on, as the following 2 rhymes show:

Monday for wealth
Tuesday for health
Wednesday the best day of all
Thursday for losses
Friday for crosses
Saturday for no luck at all

Needless to say, marrying on Friday the 13th was the worst of luck. As for the months:

Married when the year is new, he'll be loving, kind and true.
When February birds do mate, You wed nor dread your fate.
If you wed when March winds blow, joy and sorrow both you'll know.
Marry in April when you can, Joy for Maiden and for Man.
Marry in the month of May, and you'll surely rue the day.
Marry when June roses grow, over land and sea you'll go.
Those who in July do wed, must labour for their daily bred.
Whoever wed in August be, many a change is sure to see
Marry in September's shrine, your living will be rich and fine.
If in October you do marry, love will come but riches tarry.
If you wed in bleak November, only joys will come, remember.
When December snows fall fast, marry and true love will last.

The Wedding Kiss
This dates back to Roman times. The kiss was to seal the marriage legally between the couple and must be witnessed by another person.

The Wedding Banns
The Catholic Church implemented this custom. The announcement of the wedding was given for 3 consecutive Sundays before the wedding, so that if anyone had any objections, they could voice them. In today's society, the Officiate at the wedding simply asks if anyone has any objections "or forever hold thy peace".

Hand Festing
It was a common practice for the bride and groom to hold hands and proclaim their unity to witnesses. The couple could then live for a year and a day as a married couple. After this time period had passed, should the couple wish to part ways, they could with no hard feelings. Should they wish to stay together, a priest was usually called in to perform the marriage rites to make the union legally binding.

The Bridal Party
The friends of the bride and those of the groom, would gather together to offer moral support and help prepare for the wedding. The bridal party would also dress in similar clothes as the couple, so evil spirits would be confused as to whom the bride and groom were.

Bridal Bouquet
A bridal bouquet signified the bride's feelings toward the marriage, by the type of flowers she carried (see Flowers and Their Meanings). It became traditional for the bride to throw the bridal bouquet to the unmarried female guests (see Tossing the Garter above). The superstition is that whoever catches the bouquet will be the next to marry.

Throwing Rice
Rice grows abundantly and quickly, therefore it is a symbol for fertility. Guests would throw rice at the couple to ensure prosperity and fertility.

Wedding Bells
People would bring bells, pots, pans and any other thing that they could bang and make a loud discordant noise with. This was said to drive away the evil spirits who might be lingering near the couple.

Carrying The Bride Over The Threshold
It is said that if the bride stumbles while crossing the threshold to her new home, she will have a bumpy marriage. To avoid this, the groom picks her up and carries her over the threshold, thereby ensuring a happy and prosperous marriage.

The Honeymoon
This relates back to when the groom kidnapped the bride and kept her hidden away from her family. They often drank honeyed mead while in hiding for more than a month (one moon cycle)…hence the origins of the word honeymoon.

Honking of Car Horns
Again, this relates back to when the people of the village banged pots and pans after the ceremony to ward off evil spirits. In modern times, we blow car horns while following the bridal procession to the reception to announce the marriage.

Bride Stands To The Groom's Left
In times past, sometimes a jealous suitor would try to take the bride away from the groom. The groom would hold the bride off to the side with his left hand, leaving his right hand free to grip his sword and fight. To this day, the bride stands to the groom's left while marrying.

[*TanyaJeanne*]

Those are great!

[Kari]

Why We have Bridesmaids:

Why, you wonder, does a bride need to have bridesmaids? Bridesmaids are very important to the welfare of the Bride! If you were to eliminate bridesmaids, then who would confuse the evil spirits? That’s right, it was thought by the Ancient Egyptians that when a couple were to wed, evil spirits would come to ruin the good mood and atmosphere of the event with trickery and black magic. The bridesmaids main function were to dress as extravagant as the bride to confuse the evil spirits

[Kari]

Wedding Rings

The wedding ring is the most ancient of all marriage traditions. Nearly every civilization since the Egyptians has used the wedding ring as a symbol of the marriage agreement. In Egyptian hieroglyphics, the circle represents eternity, and the earliest rings were made of braided grass, hay, leather, bone and ivory. When metals were eventually discovered, the first metal rings were lumpy and awkward. Today, wedding rings can be anything from an inexpensive, plain band to an intricate setting studded with gems.
No matter where a person chooses to wear their wedding ring, the marriage bond is complete once vows are recited. The most common placement for wearing a wedding ring is on the fourth finger of the left hand. This custom began with the Egyptians, who believed that a vein on the left hand was directly connected to the heart. Today, a more practical explanation is that the left hand gets less use - and will be less likely to get damaged - since most people are right-handed.
Despite longstanding traditions, however, wedding rings are not always worn on the left hand. For a time, wealthy Elizabethans wore huge, elaborate wedding rings on their thumbs. In the eighteenth century, Roman Catholics wore them on the right hand. Even today, many European women still follow this tradition.
There are also many superstitions about wedding rings. For example, it is unlucky for the bride-to-be to go shopping for a ring on a Friday due to the bad luck associated with that day. It is equally important that neither the future bride nor groom wear their rings before the wedding ceremony since that would be presumptuous.

[Kari]

Wedding Cakes/Grooms Cakes

Wedding cakes have been a part of marriage ceremonies since medieval times. In Rome, the first wedding cakes were actually loaves of wheat bread. During the ceremony, the bread was broken over the bride?s head as a blessing for long life and many children. Guests often ate the crumbs as a sign of good luck.
Over time, a variant of this custom evolved into the forerunner of the contemporary tiered cake that is widely used today. In medieval England, wedding guests brought small cakes to the ceremony as a gift for the newlyweds. The cakes were stacked in a pile, as high as possible, to make it difficult for the newlyweds to kiss one another over the top. If the bride and groom were able to kiss over the tall stack, it was thought to symbolize a lifetime of prosperity. Eventually, the idea of stacking them neatly and frosting them together was adopted as a more convenient option.
Although wedding cakes were once white inside and out, there are few rules about how they look today. Contemporary cakes can be any color, flavor or shape. Even if a couple prefers a traditional layered wedding cake, there are countless options for decoration.
Saving a portion of the wedding cake is an old tradition that some couples still practice. As a sign of posterity, couples freeze the top portion of their wedding cake, thawing it out on their first anniversary to share with one another. Since normal cakes won't keep this long (and still taste good,) bakers can prepare a special layer that will survive for a year in the freezer.



In the past, the groom's cake was actually called the wedding cake, and what we now think of as the wedding cake was referred to as the bride's cake. Over time, the terminology was reversed, but superstition surrounding the groom?s cake was not lost. According to an old myth, if a single woman sleeps with a piece of the groom's cake under her pillow, she will dream of the man that she will marry.
The first groom's cakes were reserved for guests to take home as a memento of the wedding. For this reason, they were usually made of dark, heavy fruitcake since it is durable and keeps for a long period of time. Contemporary groom's cakes, however, are not bound by old traditions. In fact, the groom's cake is a perfect opportunity to express creativity. Many grooms like to have the cake decorated or shaped into something that reflects one of their hobbies, or something the couple enjoys doing together.

[Kari]

Veils:

Veils were originally worn by unmarried women to show modesty. In early weddings, men bargained for wives with the woman's father. At the wedding ceremony, a bride wore the veil as a symbol of submissiveness and a promise to obey her new husband. Only after the ceremony was the veil lifted to reveal the bride's appearance to the groom. Sometime in the sixteenth century, headdresses with delicate veils became fashionable; lace veils became popular after Queen Victorias wedding in 1840.

[Kari]

Bouquet:

Before the use of flowers in the bridal bouquet, women carried aromatic bunches of garlic, herbs, and grains to drive evil spirits away as they walked down the aisle. Over time, these were replaced with flowers, symbolizing fertility and everlasting love. Specific flowers have special meanings in many cultures. In Hawaii, the bride and groom wear leis; newlyweds in India don floral headdresses.